An Everlasting Flame
by ToeGirth
Summary: Usually when one thinks of life after death they think of heaven or hell. They definitely dont think about being reborn, let alone in the world of Naruto. This was going to be interesting... Self Insert.
1. Gone

Authors Note- Hello and welcome to my first story! Yes it's a self insert. Don't hate me; I already hate me enough for even trying it. I have no idea where this story is going but its been running circles in my head for a while now. I will try to keep everyone as in character as possible. If I mess something up feel free to bash my head in. This story has been greatly influenced by the story Dreaming of Sunshine. I highly recommend it. Its good, well thought out and, interesting. I can only hope for this story to be half as good as that one. But alas this note has turned to a letter so without further ado here is the story.

Chapter 1- Gone

_"Life goes on as I'm fading away," _Untitled- Simple Plan

It was weird; my death and funeral. The whole week had been a little wonky. Usually I would work afternoons and evenings but this week I had gotten a lot of mornings, as well as work on Friday. I had only had work on Friday twice before; once when a coworker had been injured, and once when a coworker was sick, which was why this Friday was so weird.

No one was sick or hurt; the schedule just said I had a shift. The morning was like any other: I got dressed, had coffee, forgot breakfast, and piled into the car with the rest of my family.

My step-father was on time, and picked me up on his way home from it was Friday so we weren't going straight home. Instead we headed toward my father's house to pick up my brothers for the weekend. We never made it. The truck hit us fast and hard, and I almost wished I had died on impact.

Instead I went to the hospital and was stuck in a coma for a week before passing on. That week was scary. Sometimes I would hear people talking and, sometimes all I would hear was a continuous beeping. My thoughts were fragmented and panicky.

The worst part was when it hurt. There was so much pain all over my body. It pricked me from my toes to the tips of my hair. Rational thought was impossible as the pain corrupted my sense of logic. _And I couldn't move_.

I couldn't complain and tell people I was in pain. I couldn't scream and, as much I hate to admit it I couldn't cry either. By that point I would have done almost anything to make the pain go away. The pain never leassoned, but over time my body adjusted. It registered the pain as familiar and continued to try to work.

I was like a soldier that couldn't feel their wounds; I would continue to fight until I collapsed from blood loss. Eventually the pain, just as every other thought, slowly faded to the background of my being.

The cold started in my toes and fingers but it spread to other areas quite fast. Fall had always been my favorite season. I love the cold and the multicolored leaves. This was different. It wasn't a bad cold or a good cold. It was just cold, numbing.

I surrendered to the cold because it was familiar, safe. After that there was just nothing. No feelings, no conscious thought. The next thing I knew I was watching my family and friends all gathered together on a sunny summer day.

There are two things about that last statement that really made it all sink in. My friends didn't like my dad too much, but there they were comforting the grieving man. I turned to the freshly dug hole and watched the Rabbi's pray as they lowered a casket- my casket into the ground.

And I understood I was dead. It was a little frightening that I didn't really fight the thought of being dead. I loved my friends and my family, I would truly miss them, but that's as far as my grieving could go.

Loud sobbing disturbed my thoughts as I tried to pinpoint the sound. My older sister had always been a bit of a crybaby. I felt bad about dying, about leaving them. She had finally found a way to be happy, and here I was dying and ruining her happiness.

God that sounded weird, even to me. Speaking of god I wondered where he was. I had grown up a religious Jew and the thought of God not existing was kind of weird. If He didn't exist what was I supposed to do now?

Although I guess it makes sense that He wasn't there. He can't be greeting every newly dead soul. In fact did I even have the right religion? You'd think you would figure something like that out when you died but here I was with absolutely no clue.

With my speculative thoughts as my only companion I slowly drifted. I say drifted because I have no idea where I was. A few times I could have sworn I was at my dad's house as people came to give their condolences. But then I was at my mother's viewing the same thing.

Was I teleporting? That's kinda cool. Or at least it would have seemed more interesting if I wasn't, you know, dead. I couldn't really keep track of the time, but the images of people comforting my family just started to blend into each other after a while. As time went on I started getting tired.

At the tender age of nine I had begun suffering from insomnia. It used to get so bad I would be living day to day life with only three or four hours of sleep, give or take a little. So as a recovering insomniac I never liked passing up a chance to sleep.

And the warmth that engulfed me every time I closed my eyes was so enticing. The periods of time that my eyes stayed firmly shut grew and grew until my sleeping mind was but one of many as I embraced the warmth.

It's hard to notice something disappear when you have so many, especially when no one alive knew of my continued existence. My thoughts became slow and garbled as I slowly but surely faded from my world.

A/N Thanks for reading, every bit of feedback is appreciated. I hope you enjoyed!

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


	2. Crud Muffins

Disclaimer: It's not mine! I don't have nearly enough imagination to have come up with something like Naruto.

Authors Note: Well here it is chapter 2. I was a little wary after posting the first chapter but I hate starting something and then never finishing it. Which means that I will continue this story to completion; no matter how bad it gets, after all I'm not the one who has to read it. Also I forgot the disclaimer for the first chapter. Oops. I'm going to assume you guys know I don't own this.

Chapter 2- Crud Muffins

_"The pictures in his mind awoke, and began to breathe,"_ Blue Lips- Regina Spektor

I don't know how long I had been sleeping for, all I knew was that I was comfortable and I didn't want to move. So with nothing better to do I went back to sleep. When I woke up again I began to wonder how long I had been sleeping.

It must have been quite a while because I was nowhere near as tired as I used to be. And that was saying something. I had had insomnia for so long that sometimes I would forget how it feels to be fully rested. But there I was almost feeling… good. It was weird, but I didn't want to question it any further. If I was able to sleep, why not? And with that I once again lost consciousness.

I woke up a few more times but for the most part I stayed asleep. Blissfully ignorant of the world I did not yet know I would be joining. There was one time I woke up and, uncomfortable, I tried to move. I almost panicked when I went to roll over only to realize I couldn't.

My panic was short lived though, as I soon realized that I could move but it was just harder than it used to be. Shrugging it off as sluggishness from sleepiness I went back to sleep. Again.

The time I spent awake began to grow, as did my movements. I started twisting and turning a lot, trying to find a comfortable position, but I couldn't. This place that had once been my warm safe haven was becoming stifling. In my old life I used to find small spaces I could climb into. I liked being curled up in a small area with my blankets.

Once, my mother had begun panicking when she couldn't find me only for my younger brother to discover my sleeping body inside the toy box. I knew I liked cramped spaces which is why my sudden claustrophobia came as such a surprise.

I wanted to scream but there was something around my throat cutting me off. Just as I thought it couldn't get any worse it did. My whole body felt as if it was being squeezed through a tube. Is this what Apparating feels like? My brain must have been malfunctioning if that's what I was thinking as I suffocated.

The squeezing sensation ended but soon after there were so many more things overwhelming my senses. Something bright was stabbing at my eyes. Something loud was pounding at my ears. Something warm was on my body, and I still _couldn't breathe._

It reminded me so much of my time in the hospital after the crash. I hadn't been able to move or scream, just lay there in pain. When I was close to passing out due to suffocation, the thing around my neck disappeared. I was still so scared.

I couldn't do or say anything when I was in a coma but I could definitely make noise now. And I screamed. Loud long wailing cries. I screamed myself into a frenzy until I passed out from the strain. Thinking on it now, that's kind of embarrassing. I was never much of a screamer. I would jump and gasp but never full out scream.

The next time I woke it was to a swaying sensation. I felt arms around me which, again, scared me. I hate being scared, and here I was getting freaked out by every new thing. But someone was holding me, touching me. Two things I don't feel comfortable with.

Why was I so small? Why couldn't I move? How did I end up at the mercy of giants? And how come I was hungry? I was so used to being dead and asleep I didn't remember the last time I felt hungry, and right now it felt like the most important thing in the world.

Before I started screaming in frustration something was shoved in my mouth. I choked at first but eventually got the hang of it. I felt disgusting though. The liquid would often dribble down my chin and I was still too clumsy in my new body to do anything about it.

All of this made me want to scream again but instead I found myself falling asleep. Although I couldn't see where I was, the next time I awoke I knew I was somewhere different. My eyes had never been this bad even without my glasses. I could feel the now familiar frustration growing. It peaked when I heard voices and could not distinguish a thing the person said.

I started screaming again but this time I was shushed by the unfamiliar voice. It was deep, rich and, warm; I could already feel myself calming even if I didn't understand what the man said.

My days began to fall into a routine; I would wake up, eat and, sleep. That was it. After all my initial fear wore off I just got bored, but the worst part was that I was always tired. Being tired is no foreign thing to me but never had moving my body, trying to speak, even holding up my head been so exhausting.

By this point in time I had come to the conclusion that all the evidence pointed to. I had been reincarnated. The very thought seemed so weird but I couldn't think of any other explanation so instead of fighting it I began to adjust.

I was good at adjusting having done it many times in my previous life (which was one thing I wasn't even going to think about, shouldn't I have lost all my memories? Way too confusing,) so I started with what I could fix first. I didn't know what the voices above me said so I would listen and learn; my body was weak so I would push myself until it worked.

Simple but effective. For the most part. I learned of my new parents. My mother was young and pretty, her name Akiko; my father was handsome with laugh lines and a big smile, his name Kinzoku. It took a while but eventually I figured out that this 'Suikazura' person my parents always spoke of was actually me.

It was embarrassing that I hadn't figured that out sooner, even if I was in the body of a baby my mind was still my own which just makes me feel stupid. There was another part of my family that I was not aware of until now.

His name was Kotetsu, my older brother. I'd never had an older brother before, and the thought of having a new life with one was so exciting that I pushed the odd familiarity of the name to the back of my mind.

Our parents would never let him hold me without one of them being nearby, too afraid that he would drop me. I looked up into his face and took it all in. He could not have been more than seven with big cheeks spiky hair and a large smile. He was just as excited to see me as I was to see him.

By six month old I had settled in, become comfortable with my new family. They quickly became something I didn't want to lose. And for a while, even though I felt helpless so often, I was genuinely happy. Maybe that's why I was so angry when I felt the itching.

I had gotten used to my body, I had understood and pushed my physical limits, and here it was doing something new. I could practically here a voice saying,

"Oh you thought you could just settle in and be happy? What were you thinking? Here why don't I quickly ruin this and make sure something like that never happens again." Sarcasm aside, it _itched_. Everywhere, all over my body; as if someone had filled my blood stream with itchy powder.

I was uncomfortable and irritable the whole night and thus so was my family the whole next day. By the time the whole Itchy Blood process was over I felt weird. There was a new energy around me, like a second skin just not physical. I was scared of it at first.

The energy automatically circulated through my body, I could feel it in my blood, but I couldn't control it. I didn't know what it was or what to do with it, all I knew was that something weird that hadn't been there before was now all over me. I eventually became comfortable enough with it to ignore its existence.

As months passed I grew. I was two and half and speaking, though not often. I hated sounding stupid so if I couldn't put my thoughts into a full sentence I wouldn't speak. My brother always picked on my saying I was stupid and, unable to respond fully.

I would kick him in the shin. It was only fair, at least that's what I told my dad when he found us. My dad is funny. He had a laid back air about him, always relaxed, and usually let us fight it out. He told my mom it was good and that it built character.

We all know he never stopped us because it was funny to see me hit Kotetsu and him be unable to hit back for fear of hurting me. My mom was very different from my dad. She was always calm though never easy going. If she told you to do something she expected it to get done. She never yelled but I had seen her scare Kotetsu white on more than one occasion with only a look.

Slowly more time began to pass and at the age of three I met my brother's best friend Izumo. Kotetsu always talked about him, he would complain and say how Izumo never let him copy his homework because he thought Kotetsu was lazy for not doing it himself, but I knew they were good friends.

They went to school together and sometimes Izumo would come over but I was always napping around that time. But today was different. They came in and Izumo introduced himself to me, but honestly all I could do was stare.

He had chin length light brown hair and wore a hat. His name was Izumo and he was best friends with Kotetsu my brother. With Kotetsu Hagane a Chunin from the child's show Naruto. It all began to click.

Why the names were so familiar, why my brother was so strong, why he always referred to school as 'The Academy', and why my parents, who were civilians, didn't like his choice to go there. I was in the world of Naruto. Well shit.

Hope you enjoyed, please leave a review and come again!

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


	3. The Art of Making a Fool of Yourself

Disclaimer: It's not mine!

Authors Note: Chapter three for you peeps. Don't get used to daily updates though. I will definitely update twice a week but I don't always have a computer on the weekends and motivation during the week. That aside, Id really like to thank the two of you who reviewed yesterday. You have no idea how much that made my day. I was grinning creepily the entire night. Thank you! This chapter is longer than the other two. Enjoy!

Chapter 3- The Art of Making a Fool of Yourself

_"I'm bleeding out, I'm bleeding out for you,"_ Bleeding out- Imagine Dragons

Kotetsu had been excited all week. After speaking with our parents they had said Izumo could sleep over for the weekend. They had never had a sleep over before so naturally it was the only thing Kotetsu spoke about. It got annoying after a while but my parents just used it for ammunition.

Every time they saw him slacking on his chores or homework, our mother would make an offhand comment about having guests with a dirty house or him spending the weekend doing all the homework he missed.

It was all rather funny. I too was excited to see my brother's friend. Kotetsu had said he was smart and I wanted to pick his brains. There were so many new things in this world and I wanted to know as much as I could.

At first I had assumed I had been reborn in my world just on the other side of it, but I was soon proven wrong. Before I could walk my mother would strap me to her back and carry me around the town as she did her errands. Peeking over her shoulder I could only stare wide eyed at everything around me. It was so different from what I was used to.

The streets were made of packed dirt, and the buildings were old but sturdy looking. The village had originally been built inside a forest and it showed. Some of the houses had deformed trees as a wall and a blanket of leaves alongside their shingles.

Nature seemed to bend around the towns' people and their lives. Long tree limbs were used as bridges from roof to roof and roots were jungle gyms in the local parks. Nothing had a set price, and this was proven to me when my mother haggled over everything she bought so as to get the lowest price (she can be a little cheap sometimes,).

After learning all of this I knew I had been thrown into completely new territory and thus wanted to figure out as much as I could. I had practiced my letters but it would be a while before I was able to read even the simplest of things, and my family only had the patients to explain so much to me.

So at the thought of meeting someone new, someone who hadn't had it with my questions already, I wanted to talk to them. There was also a small part of me that wanted to play with them. Kotetsu had promised that he and Izumo would teach me how to climb a tree, something I hadn't done since I was ten myself.

It's weird, being older than your older brother. Every time I thought about it, it sent my mind in never-ending circles that only gave me a head ache. It was with these thoughts in my head that I sat at the living room window trying to catch a glimpse of them. Eventually I spotted the two of them running down the street, chatting and fighting along the way.

I never liked appearing excited, it has always made me feel like the people around me have a nonexistent advantage and it makes me feel awkward. I don't like awkward situations and for me the way to prevent them was to pretend to be in complete control.

So as they neared the door I sat on the floor and began assembling my toys with a calm air about me. I heard a snort and glanced to my left only to see my father give me a knowing look. I sighed in annoyance at myself for forgetting he was in the room. That was embarrassing.

The noise outside our house picked up and I looked up just to see them come in. Kotetsu glanced around before spotting me on the floor and waving me over.

"Suikazura come here and meet Izumo." I happily got up and brushed myself off as I hobbled over awkwardly. I still wasn't quite used to walking yet. It doesn't help that my lack of balance seemed to have carried itself over to this world as well. Looking up I smiled brightly at the boy as he introduced himself.

"Hello, you must be the Suikazura I've heard so much about. My name is Izumo, it's nice to meet you," Kotetsu blushed a little at the first part as if embarrassed to have been caught talking about his little sister. And then the rest of his sentence finally registered.

Taking in his appearance, I just didn't know what to do. The proof is in the pudding and, though I couldn't say that everything blatantly says I'm in the Naruto world, there was enough evidence to point rather obnoxiously in that direction.

What are you supposed to do in a situation like this? Smile and accept it? Get upset? Have a breakdown? Faint? Okay I definitely wasn't doing that last one. There really wasn't any way to check right that moment so I just pushed it to the back of my mind to deal with later. I needed to think on it and now wasn't the time. The boys noticed my silence and Kotetsu looked at me almost worriedly.

"Kotetsu you never said she was shy," Izumo said lightly.

"I'm not, I was just thinking. Sorry. It's nice to meet you Izumo," was my rushed reply.

"You were thinking? But you never do that Suikazura! Are you all right?" I glared at Kotetsu. He always teases me like that. In my old life I often found myself saying similar things to my younger siblings. I had also been on this end many times before, but just because I'd done it doesn't mean I like it. I pushed him lightly and he just laughed at me.

My father finally got up off the couch and went over to greet Izumo. My mother wouldn't be getting home for a while longer. She worked as a seamstress and made lots of beautiful clothes. She liked working in the store that she works for so she only brought a project home when someone in the family is sick, she didn't get to finish something at work, or my father had a job.

My father worked as a carpenter so he only goes out when he had a job, leaving him at home with me a lot. In those times when it was just the two of us he taught me to read, told me stories, and took me to the playground to swing.

I had been thinking again and had forgotten to pay attention to the conversation, only being pulled out of my thoughts at the sound of my name.

"Um what?" was my automatic reply causing Kotetsu to laugh and my father, who had been the one speaking, to grin a little.

"I said; it will be a while before your mother gets home and dinner is ready. Why don't we have the boys take you to the park." My eyes lit up at the idea as Kotetsu began to protest.

"Aww come on Kotetsu. You promised you would show me how to climb that big tree." So I was whining. But I was three okay? Well I might have been a bit older than three but they didn't need to know that. Kotetsu's mind was made up when Izumo interjected and said that teaching me to climb trees would be fun, and so the three of set out towards the park.

The boys walked ahead a little but would slow down every time I began to fall too far behind. Learning how to climb a tree sounded great, but right then I was even more interested in the surroundings. If I was indeed in Konoha, like I believed I was, then I should be able to spot the Hokage monument at some point. I think.

I had no doubts about which country I had been born into. My brother was _the_Kotetsu Hagane, and his best friend was_the_ Izumo Kamizuki. They weren't famous but they were there.

I didn't know what part of the time line I was in because I never really paid that much attention to the ages of the minor characters, but I knew Izumo and Kotetsu.

My plan on spotting the monument would have worked, except I had forgotten to take into account my height. I forgot I was short. Darn it. I could've just asked one of the boys to point it out but by then I was determined to find it on my own. That would be really hard (not to mention embarrassing,) if my hunch was wrong and I wasn't in the Naruto world…

I sighed to myself in exasperation. I should really stop thinking because the only thing it was doing right then was giving me a headache and ruining my day. If I wasn't in the Naruto world then I would live a peaceful life here in this village. If I was in the Naruto world… well… I'd need to think about that one.

What was I supposed to do? Should I try to change everything? But everything worked out in the manga, or seemed like it would, and I couldn't be too sure it would work out if I changed anything.

And aside from all that, I didn't even know when I was. Kotetsu and Izumo are ten, I thought to myself, trying to figure it out. That didn't tell me a thing, I thought dejectedly. I sighed again and just decided to focus on climbing trees until later that evening.

In my old life I hadn't learned how to climb trees until I was six, and I was never able to get very far. I usually just ended up reading a book on one of the lower hanging branches. I couldn't help but wonder how far I could get with two ninja in training at my side.

A new thought occurred to me as I entered the park, something that I probably should have thought of before (I am again embarrassed at my own stupidity,). If I could get myself to the top of one of the trees I would probably be able to see the monument.

With a new determination, I entered the park and marched right towards our intended tree. We began and as I rested my hands on the tree something felt weird. I know that trees are alive, but this tree was _alive._

It was warm and I could feel it practically vibrating under my fingers, as if it was happy to see me and trying to welcome me into its boughs. I wondered if this was the fault of the energy-chakra, my mind supplied. Either way there was, again, nothing I could do but store this information away until I had the chance to think.

Unfortunately I was still three and chubby with baby fat, which made actually getting anywhere rather difficult. Izumo seemed to catch on to my frustration and climbed up a branch higher before holding out his hand to me and helping me up.

Kotetsu from his spot higher up looked down and notices the trouble I was having. After laughing at me and teasing me he climbed down enough so that he too, could slowly help me make my way up the tree.

The teasing was annoying but I wasn't stupid enough to let that bother me. I knew he was just playing and using my inability to climb as an excuse to help me without seeming nice.

Boys are funny like that. They hate being caught doing something good, which just meant when we got home that night I would just _have_ to brag to my parents about my _amazing_ big brother and how he helped me climb up the tree. That ought to be fun.

We never made it to the top but we were still fairly high up. When I finally felt safe enough to take my eyes off the tree and look around me I searched for the familiar faces. Yep, there it was; the Hokage monument in all its glory. That was troubling.

So I was in the world of Naruto. I wondered how that happened. If I died again would I be reborn in another world? If so I hoped it wasn't one about to be torn apart by war. That would be nice.

Oh right the war. I was probably going to die in that, if I were a ninja. Did I want to be a ninja? No, I didn't. But because I knew the future I felt like I had an obligation to change it. Yet I still didn't know if that would be the right thing to do. The whole situation was just so frustrating.

I felt like I needed help; like I would never be able to accomplish anything on my own. Maybe I should run down the streets singing Hakuna Matata, find everyone who recognized it, and form a club. The Try to Fix, but End up Making the Entire World Worse club. No I couldn't do that, the name was too long.

These thoughts circled in my head the whole way down the tree and cause me to nearly fall out of it. At least I would have gotten down faster.

Sometimes when I think, I forget to think. As confusing as that sounds it's true. There I was, thinking about all of these important-ish things, and there I was not paying attention to where I was walking. I bumped into something and fell to the ground. That was one good thing about being so short, I never fell as far as I used to.

I had walked into a woman who was bending over to help me up. Looking into her face my eyes widened. She must have thought I was scared she would yell at me because she smiled and tried to calm me down, but that wasn't the problem.

She was beautiful. She had long flowing red hair, and such a large smile. Her companion, who I hadn't even noticed, looked down.

"Is something wrong Kushina?" I looked up at the voice and then I saw him. You know; _Him_. Minato Namikaze. The fourth Hokage. I was looking at the fourth Hokage. A legend, a _living_ legend. They weren't dead yet.

My heart hurt. It was aching for these people I only knew through a book, but still, to me they were people. They had loved each other. They were building a life for themselves. Soon they would have a child together. They would be so happy and excited. Everyone would be happy for them. But none of them knew what would actually happen.

How when in labor, the Kyuubi would be set loose, how they would both so readily sacrifice their lives for their son. The son they would never get to raise as their own; their son who would change the Shinobi world.

The boy they would not get to see again for a very long time and even then only as chakra, a mere memory of themselves. I was so sad for these people because I knew there was nothing I could do.

They were looking at me now. I had been silent for so long, maybe they thought I would cry. I stood up rigidly and the woman held out a hand to steady me. Smiling politely I apologized for bumping into them.

"S-sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going."

"It's alright sweetie. Are you alright? Do you need help getting home?" I shook my head at her and said, "My brother is just down the street thank you." I felt like I needed to say or do something, anything. I wanted to help them so badly. With nothing better to do I glanced down and noticed some flowers on the ground. Bending over, I scooped up a few and handed one to each of them.

"Thank you," I said quickly as I scurried past them and began scanning the crowd for my brother. Looking back at them I saw bewildered confusion on their faces. They soon shrugged it off and continued on their way. As I walked further from the two I heard laughter that made me want to smile at them for their happiness and cry for what I knew was to come.

But I didn't. Instead I found my brother and Izumo and quietly followed them home. Feeling overwhelmed I went straight to my bedroom and fell into a fitful sleep as I waited to be fetched for dinner.

Hope you enjoyed! Leave a review and come again.

ToeGirth,

Signing out


	4. Like Crushed Grass

Disclaimer: It is not, nor has it ever been, mine. In the future… well only time will tell ;)

Authors Note:  I was honestly expecting to lose inspiration at some point this week and have trouble with these chapters, but this story just keeps writing itself. That's a good thing. I hope to have chapters completed ahead of time. And if anyone knows a beta that is good at dialogue let me know because I could definitely use the help. But for now, here is chapter four. Enjoy!

Chapter 4- Like Crushed Grass

_"Tears of pain, tears of joy, one thing nothing can destroy, is our pride deep inside,"_ Simba- The Lion King

The next year passed almost quietly. I spent my time learning. Knowing that I knew I was in the Naruto world cleared up a lot of my questions. Then again it raised so many more I don't know if that could count as progress. I tried to take things slowly, let it all sink in and stay in, before moving on to other things.

I talked with Izumo and Kotetsu and learned more about them both. I asked Izumo about his family and found out that he too had civilian parents. They didn't understand why he wanted to be a ninja but were always supportive of him. My parents didn't like that my brother was trying to be a ninja but they never tried to talk him out of it. They respected his right to make his own decisions.

I spent a lot of that year trying to make my own. I didn't want to be a ninja. Yes it would be cool, but there is so much more to being a ninja then just being 'cool'. I would be risking my life, pushing myself farther than I ever had before, and most likely end up dying. Again.

I had no delusions about myself. I knew I was weak and would always be an average ninja at most. I knew it would be hard, even with the threat of Madara and Pein hanging over my head, I know I would never have the determination to really fix anything. At most I'd just be another convenient meat shield.

I was also scared. I hate saying it, but even having died before, I was scared to do it again. Because I knew it would be painful, and as childish as it sounds, I don't like being in pain. I didn't want to think about these things, but I had too.

Even if I pushed the looming threats to the back of my head until the time came, I knew it would affect me. It would affect everyone. Everyone would suffer. And I wanted to do something, but I knew how small my existence was.

Even if I was to try as hard as humanly possible and then some, I would only be imprinting my existence and ideas on so few people it would hardly make a difference.

I'm not Naruto; I don't have his unyielding faith and determination. And it angered me. I was so upset at myself for not even trying, but at the same time I understood how pointless it would be. I made my decision.

I would go to the academy and push myself as hard as I could. If all else fails at least I'll be strong enough to protect my family for a short time. I began trying to prepare myself for my time at the academy by bullying Kotetsu into teaching me exercises and ways to strengthen my body.

I hated sweating, but I would do it if it meant I would survive just a little bit longer. I would stretch my body and begin working up my endurance and flexibility. I was still awkward in my new body, but I was adjusting quickly with my goal in mind.

After spending so much time working with Kotetsu and sometimes Izumo I got to see their proficiency with weapons and their teamwork first hand. It was amazing. They were still so young they hadn't even graduated yetand their teamwork, though it could use a bit of work, was much better than I thought it would be at this point in time.

In the show I think you only ever get to see them fight once or twice, but here I was working with the two of them and I could see it quite clearly. And they were good. It was both inspiring and humbling at the same time. I wanted to be better, to be able to fight with them rather than just getting instructions here and there.

Watching them, I knew that this was still only Genin level. It really made me wonder what it would be like to watch two Jonin going at it. I wanted to learn, to improve, so I did. But even I knew it still wasn't enough.

Eventually I spoke with my parents about my decision. My mother flat out refused. It took a lot of persuasion skills to even show her what I knew so far. I wouldn't be old enough to go to the academy until I was six, the age for entering in times of peace.

With my brother on my side and my father as neutral we finally convinced her to let me attend. And even though I wouldn't be entering for another two years it felt final. I had permission; I was going to do this. And nothing scared me more.

For me the hardest part is always making the decisions. I can be very indecisive, but once I make up my mind I stick with it as far as I can. So I continued to work. My mother still hoped I would change my mind about going to the academy.

She would introduce me to civilian girls my age to try to show me that it was alright not to go just because my older brother did; that I could be happy without going. She taught me how to sew in the hopes that I would decide to do that for a living.

And as much I didn't want to be a ninja, I hated the fact that she kept trying to talk me out of it. I understand that I'm her only daughter, that she knows nothing about the ninja world, and that it's scary to let me do something so dangerous, I really understood.

But no matter how much I tried to keep my patience with her, she made me angry. I think it was the first time I had gotten truly angry at someone in this world. And I hated myself for that. She was my mother. She loved me.

How could I get angry at her for something like that? But I could tell that she was angry too. She was angry at me, at Kotetsu, at my father. I didn't like the tension that was now constantly hanging over the house.

Even in my old life I had always been very sensitive to the people around me. I could usually tell how someone felt. And my chakra only seemed to have strengthened that. Without it I don't think I would have noticed that my father was angry too.

And that was worrying to think about. He was always calm and happy. Even when most in his position would get upset he always dealt with things without getting to emotionally involved. But right now, I could tell he was angry. Not at me or Kotetsu but our mother.

The house was tense like this for over a week until my father decided to fix it. I don't know what he said or did. But when my parents came back from their date a week later everything, all the anger and fear she had been feeling, was gone. I have got to learn how to do that.

Because of my training I began spending a lot more time outside. And that's when I finally noticed it. Kotetsu was walking me to the park where we were going to climb trees again, except this time he wasn't going to help me so I had to use my own strength to get up.

The moment we got there he began climbing immediately while I started a staring contest with the tree. I was trying to find the best place to grab hold and begin. When I touched the tree to test the closest branches strength I almost flinched. It was alive.

I had forgotten about that, having been so overwhelmed by meeting Naruto's parents. Except this time it was stronger. I could feel it almost as if it was an extension of me. And when I went to touch one of the flower buds, it bloomed. It was barely spring yet and this bud had bloomed in the space of seconds. That's not normal.

"Suikazura, you won't get anywhere it you just stand there," my brother teased from somewhere above. I rolled my eyes and replied, "I'm sizing up my opponent,"

"You're supposed to climb it, not fight it," he yelled back down.

"Alright, alright. I'm coming hold your horses. Sometimes you have less patience then a toddler."

"Whatever, just get up here I want to show you this bird's nest I found."And so I began to climb. With each branch I touched another flower would bloom. It was strange. I know I had caused it, but there had never been anyone or anything in the book that could do that. Except maybe Yamato, but he used wood, not flowers.

I needed to experiment but now was not the time. I resolved to speak with Kotetsu about chakra control. He was surprisingly good at it. Hopefully I could learn enough to stop things from spontaneously growing at my touch. And if I could learn to control it… well that would be nice. But right then I had a tree to climb.

My birthday came and passed as I began learning basic chakra control. I didn't really have too much because my coils wouldn't start growing until I was eight but I could work with what I had. I had to.

I began walking around my backyard without shoes on to see if I could make things grow through my feet. I could. Everything I touched with any part of my body began to grow. I began lying in the backyard for hours at a time with my hands on the ground trying to sense things.

I could feel the flowers next to the fence, the tree down the street, the dying weeds in my neighbor's trash bin, as well as the honeysuckle vines climbing up the side of my house. I felt so small at times like that, when I could feel each blade of grass, each leaf flowing in the wind.

I soon learned that when I try to make things grow its more energy draining than when they just do it on their own. I think because I don't have any chakra control yet everything that leaks out, instead of being wasted, gets sucked into the nearest plant making it grow.

It was fascinating. It was something my adult mind could enjoy. With my family I was the four year old baby of the house, with my brother and Izumo (who I was beginning to think of as a brother,) I was a student straining my body to become stronger.

But here, in the backyard with the plants- my plants, I was the twenty-one year old I knew myself to be. It was relaxing for me to have different people to be in different places. It's what I was used to. And I was really beginning to feel at home.

But I had gotten so caught up in my own little head I forgot about the rest of the world. My wakeup call wasn't a pleasant one. I was four at the time and winter was slowly but surely making itself known by the chill in the air.

It was the alarms that woke me. Going downstairs I saw the rest of my family crowding in the kitchen. My parents were pale and staring out the window in shock. I moved toward them trying to catch a glimpse of what had scared them when I felt Kotetsu pulling me back and shaking his head.

I was confused for a moment but then I remembered. It was October tenth. Naruto's birthday, the day the Kyuubi was set loose on the village. We heard knocking on the door and all turned as the person let themselves in.

It was a boy no older than fourteen. He looked scared but determined as he ushered us out of the house and towards the Hokage monument where I knew the safety shelters to be. We were being evacuated for our own safety because the village was in danger.

My father scooped me up and tried to hide my eyes as we made our way toward the mountain but I saw it, the fox. He was _huge_, his chakra menacing, and he was _angry._ His hate was so strong I could almost feel it as my own.

Only years of practice at distancing myself from others emotions stopped me from screaming in rage myself. It was scary. All the other civilians were being evacuated by the Genin and those deemed too young to fight the monster.

We finally made it to safety when Kotetsu made to leave us. I was so scared of letting him go. My parents apparently felt the same way.

"Where do you think you're going?" My mother's voice didn't have its usual edge to it. Kotetsu just looked at her, jaw clenched stubbornly.

"I need to find Izumo. He-"his voice cracked a moment.

"He lived in that area. I need to find him." My father's eyes widened in understanding.

"Go," he said in a low voice, skin pulled taut around his mouth.

"Kinzoku you can't-,"my mother began but was cut off when my father spoke again.

"He'll be fine. He won't leave the shelter and if he can't find Izumo within the hour then he will come right back," Kotetsu nodded and left but my mother looked no more reassured by his words then she had before they were spoken.

Kotetsu returned not twenty minutes later with his best friend in tow. He was crying, or at least he had been. He looked broken and I knew before I heard the words, what had happened. My parents enveloped him in a hug and we stayed with him the whole night.

We all knew words wouldn't do anything right now so we just sat with him, spoke quietly of things that didn't matter, and placated his frayed nerves with our calming words. They didn't let us out until well into the next morning.

Shinobi were running all over the village, picking up weapons and bodies all over the place, and this was what it was like after most of the work was done. Our house had been in one of the high damage zones but right then that didn't even matter.

The announcement was made throughout the town about the Fourths death and about the funeral services being held for all who had fallen in the attack. Thinking about it, right then our village was more vulnerable than ever. If another nation were to attack us now, there would be almost nothing we could do to stop it. But they didn't.

The Fourth Hokage was known all around the world by Shinobi and civilian alike. Armies would flee at the sight of him on the battlefield, and now he was gone. It showed how respected he was that we were left to grieve in peace.

I just found it sad that his last wish, that his son be treated as the hero he was, would never be respected. But I could understand why he wasn't. To the civilians the Fourth Hokage was a sign: a sign of change, strength, and peace. And he was gone.

It wasn't just the end of one man's reign but the end of an era, an era where things were good, where most people were happy, where they were safe. And they needed to place their anger somewhere. It just hurt that they chose a little boy, a baby at the moment, to carry their pain. It's disgusting really, but it's in human nature and that is not something that is easy to go against.

Our village spent a long time fixing itself. My family took Izumo in and decided to move. Our house had been demolished and even after being rebuilt it wasn't quite big enough for the four of us, so bigger housing became our priority.

We found a nice sized house and it felt like we were beginning again, which in a sense, we were. Izumo was a lot quieter now but we knew he appreciated us taking him in. He had his own room but for the first week of staying with us he slept in Kotetsu's.

I could hear them talking through the wall sometimes and I'm sure my parents did as well but they never complained. They knew he needed to talk, and every morning he was looking better and better.

After two weeks of settling in we finally met our next door neighbors. That threw me off a bit. Imagine my surprise when my mother and I were greeted one afternoon by Inoichi Yamanaka. He came with his wife and baby daughter later introduced as Ino.

He didn't stick around for long, he was still busy like a lot of the other Jonin, but his wife and daughter stayed for a while. His wife was nice. She spoke with my mother and I about their flower shop next door, and even pointed out their greenhouses from our back porch.

We were invited over for dinner the next evening and my mother graciously accepted. Later that night my mother told my father of the next evening's plans and he agreed readily enough.

My mother then used dinner as lecture time as she told us exactly how she expected us to behave at someone else's house. I felt a bit nostalgic. It was at times like this where she reminded me of my old mother so much it almost hurt.

Our dinner out went off without a hitch and after showing my interest in the plants Yamanaka-san promised to teach me about the flowers and what sort of properties they held. I was excited to learn about the plants.

Right now all I could do was make them grow, but if I knew what they did then maybe I could be more helpful to the village. And right then I wanted to be helpful so badly. So many people had died, so much had to be fixed and here I was happily eating dinner with my new neighbors.

I spent as much time as I could, learning and growing in both strength and size. It was during one of my afternoons in the grass that I realized something quite handy. I had my eyes closed and was focused on my breathing, and all the plants around me.

I felt the ones in the greenhouse next door and frowned as I felt the cold slowly killing a few of them. It made sense that they were dying, it was well into December now, but I didn't want them to die.

Not really thinking I sent my chakra in that direction and felt the plants once again grow strong. And then I cursed myself for being so stupid. They were going to notice that. At least they wouldn't be able to tell it came from me. I hope.

Lying back down, I focused on the grass. And again I felt something different. The grass near the porch felt smushed, flat. Tilting my head backwards I noticed Kotetsu and Izumo looking at me.

They slowly made their way over and I felt them crush all the grass on the way. That's interesting. As they both lay down on either side of me the grass they had crushed, with the help of my chakra, began to grow again.

The three of us lay there silently, just staring at the sky and enjoying the quiet moment of peace. And even though everything around us still felt broken and crushed, it was slowly but surely, just like the grass, growing back to its former height, and when we reach it we will grow even taller.

Hope you enjoyed! Please leave a review and come again.

ToeGirth,

Signing out


	5. I Miss

Disclaimer- If I have ten ice cubes and you have eleven apples; how may pancakes will fit on the roof?

Answer: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats. Oh yeah, it's not mine by the way.

Authors Note- This chapter was annoying. I knew exactly what I wanted to get out (sorta,) but every time I wrote anything it just felt wrong. Even after editing it four times, it still feels awkward. It's probably the dialogue. Bleh. Well I hope you guys enjoy reading it, because wrighting it was a pain.

Chapter 5- I Miss…

"_She said, "I'm sad," somehow without any words,"_ Everything is Alright- Laura Shigihara

Dinner at the Yamanaka's became a regular thing for my family. My parents who hadn't gone out much since my birth enjoyed having friends they could talk to. My mother and Yamanaka-san's wife got along especially well. They always talked about their daughters which, to my embarrassment, included me.

My mother would talk about all the trouble they had with me as a baby and how when I was born I had had the umbilical cord wrapped tightly around my neck. That explained a lot.

My brother waved it off as girly talk and would instead question Yamanaka-san about his work at T&I. I was also interested and listened intently to everything he told us. I'm sure that a lot of the stuff that goes on there is confidential and he successfully dodged all pointed questions instead telling the boys about standard procedure.

Izumo was particularly interested in what he had to say. After living with him for a few months, I had learned that he loved watching people and was good at interpreting their actions as well. It made sense.

I'm fairly certain the two of them worked for T&I at some point. My mother tuned in when he spoke of one of the particularly… harsh ways to get people to talk. She went white and quickly covered my ears with her hands. My father laughed it off and told her I was fine and that I was listening as calmly as the boys.

"That's the problem Kinzoku," she snapped at him.

"Yamanaka-san, I hate asking this of you in your own house, but Suikazura…" she trailed off as if she didn't know how to finish, but he seemed to understand.

"It is alright Hagane-san. I will refrain from talking about work with your daughter present,"

"Thank you," she replied gratefully.

"Yeah thanks Suikazura. That was getting interesting you know," Kotetsu said with a pout. One look from my mother had Kotetsu silent the rest of dinner. I noticed though that Yamanaka-san was looking at me strangely. As if I had done something wrong.

Oh. I had been listening to him describe how they torture people for information for over an hour now and had yet to react. I had a friend who used to love horror movies and the like. I would get a daily lecture on how to best physically torture people. At this point talking about couldn't really faze me anymore.

I'm sure if I were to see it I would freak, but I'm fine with just talking about it. I really hoped he would brush it off as being too young to understand. But now he was watching me. He had to have noticed that I don't always act like a four year old should. It's his job to spot these things. How could I be so stupid?

"Hagane-san, I can't help but notice that Suikazura has quite a large vocabulary for someone her age," Yamanaka-san said in a pleasant tone. I couldn't stop my body from involuntarily tensing. Looking up slightly I could see him smiling at my mother but his eyes would dart over to me occasionally, as if sizing me up.

"She has always been very smart. And now that she can read she just sucks up information like a sponge," was my father's reply. He looked over at my father when he began speaking and now he was watching my mother again.

She was of course quick to agree with someone about my supposed intelligence, though I wasn't really feeling any of it right now.

"Oh yes, she practically skipped the stage of one word sentences. When it comes to things like that she gets into a very all or nothing mindset," she said in full out 'mother' mode.

"That's a good trait for a shinobi to have. Tell me, does she plan on attending the academy?" Yamanaka-san asked. My mother tensed a little. That was still a sore subject for her. So instead I decided to reply myself.

"Yes. I will be joining two years from now. Kotetsu and Izumo have been helping me get stronger so that I don't fall behind."

"That's very nice of your brother," he commented.

"Yeah, especially when I wake up extra early to stretch with her in the mornings," Kotetsu said with a slight glare in my direction. Never one to back down from a challenge I did what anyone in my situation would do. I spat at him.

"Suikazura!" was my mother's outraged cry. But it was worth it as now everyone was laughing except Kotetsu who was torn between laughing and glaring harder at me. I just smiled cheekily across the table and the glaring side of him won.

Potential crisis averted we finished our meal and made our way back home. I had forgotten that this was a shinobi village. I don't know why the thought of people knowing about me scared me so much.

Even if they get suspicious of me I have every alibi backing me up. My family knew me. There is no way for me to be working for another village. But I was still a little unsettled from our conversation. What if they thought I was some sort of genius?

Or that I'm really strong or something? Of course they would quickly find out that I wasn't, but I still resolved to be careful around Yamanaka-san. By the time spring and my birthday came around, I had calmed down enough to have a conversation with the man again.

One morning, as I was barefoot in the backyard doing my usual morning exercises, I got so focused on what I was doing that I stopped paying attention to my surroundings. Something I have got to stop doing before it gets me killed.

I had started the morning as I usually did by going outside and beginning my stretching and breathing. Over the winter I had thought about my, as I liked to call it, Green Disposition.

Things would grow if I concentrated and sent my chakra to an area. They would also grow just by being in my general vicinity. And when a plant was in immediate contact with me it would grow even faster.

That was nice and all but I needed it to stop. I figured that if it's all my excess chakra being used, I have to stop leaking chakra. I had no idea how to do that. I know I can't cut the flow off completely but there had to be some way to lessen the amount being sent to my limbs. I just didn't know it.

Instead of dwelling on it, I started to focus on the harder exercises while still trying to keep my breath even. I say try because doing twenty push-ups, pull-ups, crunches, and splits all the while keeping your breath slow and relaxed is not as easy as it sounds.

And it doesn't sound easy. I was finishing up with some more simple things to calm my heart rate when a voice made me jump.

"It's not often you see someone as dedicated as yourself Suikazura. And to think you're not even in the academy yet," a voice from behind me said. Yamanaka-san then laughed at my startled expression causing me to blush. That is really embarrassing.

"Do you get up this early every morning?" he inquired. I nodded my head in reply.

"Well I was just on my way to the green house when I saw you out here. My wife tells me you're very interested in the flowers. Would you like to come along and help?" I was torn. On one hand I really wanted to learn more about them.

My lessons with his wife had been so interesting even if I only ever remembered half of what she tells me. But on the other hand, me in a greenhouse full of plants and a very observant ninja did not sound like a very good idea.

He must have seen the indecision on my face because, in such a persuasive voice, he added, "I'll even let you use the hose." Honestly I'm almost ashamed that that's really all it took.

Against all odds I was able to keep control of myself fairly well, and if he noticed the occasional spike of chakra and healthier flowers he said nothing. At least they didn't go crazy. I had gotten to the point where being near the plants only made them perk up. A few will grow here and there but progress was progress and who was I to complain.

We spoke a little about my training and if I was excited to go to the academy. I played my part of the overly eager child to him quite well and we eventually fell into a comfortable silence. We finished and began to make our way back towards the gate separating our yards when he spoke up.

"That's a nifty thing you can do with the plants." And here I was hoping to get away scot-free.

"Do they always grow so much around you?" The question sounded innocent and was probably meant to make me feel at ease. It had the opposite effect. I didn't know how to answer. Do I tell him and admit to randomly being able to make plants grow?

Wouldn't that make me suspicious? Do I try to play it off as nothing? But wouldn't that make him suspicious of me as well? I wanted to tell him. I hate having to hide it. But I had no idea how he, or anyone for that matter, would react. And now I'd taken too long to reply. Great.

"So you are able to make plants grow just by being in the same area. Have you tested your limits with this ability of yours?" Dejected that I had been found out I just decide to tell him the truth.

And really, I should have expected this. It's his job to get into people's minds and pull out answers, both figuratively and literally, and it's not like I was doing a good job of hiding it either.

"I never specifically tried to push my limits but I did explore them," I replied sullenly. He on the other hand seemed ecstatic that I was answering his questions.

"When did you find out about this?" I thought for a moment before replying, "I felt the plants when I was three, but I never made anything grow until I was four." He nodded his head as if I was just confirming suspicions. That was creepy. Does that mean he had noticed before and had waited to bring it up to me?

"Why did you want to know?" It was worth a shot.

"The ability to control plants, or wood is a little rare. I was merely interested in how much you could do," he said conversationally. Well that's the understatement of the year. Rare is how most would describe wind-type chakra.

Right now there is only one man alive who can do wood element-type Jutsu. I doubt I would ever be able to. Though I can feel wood and make it grow, it always does at a much slower rate than any flowers or vines, and sucks out twice as much chakra.

But it's not like I can tell Yamanaka-san any of this, so instead I just went with, "Oh, is that all?" He laughed a little at the bluntness but nodded his head all the same.

"Why don't you head on home. I'm sure you're hungry for breakfast after all the work you did this morning," he said kindly, reminding me of the time.

"Okay. Thank you for letting me help you in the green-house Yamanaka-san, I had a lot of fun." Smiling sweetly I turn around and head back to my house.

By the time summer came I was still very wary of Yamanaka-san. He hadn't mentioned any of our past conversation to me or my parents. I wondered if he told the Hokage, and if he did I wondered what he said. Did the Hokage tell him to watch me?

That seemed the most likely option at the moment. We were neighbors so it would be easy, as well as the fact that technically I was only five. If he spoke with the Hokage then he must know I can grow plants unnaturally fast, that's all I gave away.

But I'm fairly certain that Yamanaka-san could see where I down played it, and he must have known I was reluctant to tell him. As a civilian I shouldn't know that it is a 'rare' ability, and it makes me wonder what he gathered from that. I was over thinking again and so to distract myself I went off to bother my brother.

The time for his graduation was just a week away and I wanted to spend some more time with him before he got too busy with missions. We spent the day at the park with Izumo and just enjoyed each other's company.

I was seven years younger than them so I understood why they sometimes didn't want to play with me, but it meant a lot to me when they did. The three of us climbed the tree we were beginning to think of as ours and sat together on one of the larger branches chatting idly.

"Next week I'm going to graduate. That makes me a ninja. Which means you have to do everything I say," Kotetsu declared loudly at me.

"I do not! I can do whatever I want. Like push you out of this tree," I trailed off with a mischievous glint in my eye. My comment had its desired effect. He immediately tensed up and grabbed onto the tree trunk, causing Izumo to laugh at our antics.

"You two are so mean to me," he whined.

"You really do deserve it most of the time," Izumo said, causing me to laugh this time. Kotetsu just sighed as if he were the most put upon man on the earth, just causing Izumo and I to laugh even harder.

I knew the boys were nervous about the graduation test, but I also knew that they were even more nervous about their new teams. Neither one of them wanted to be separated. They had grown up together and lived together like brothers; they were each other's comfort zones.

I knew that at school they didn't spend as much time with their other classmates as they did each other. I already knew that they would be on the same team because of my knowledge of the future, but right now to them this must be one of the scariest moments of their life so far.

"They won't separate you, you know." It was quiet but I knew they heard me when Izumo replied.

"What makes you say that?"

"The teachers there have trained you since day one. They know your strengths and weaknesses probably better then you do. They must have seen your teamwork. It's almost flawless. By putting the two of you on a team together with someone who lacks in teamwork, after training together you guys could become part of one of the most efficient teams Konoha has," was my reply.

"Wow Suikazura. That's probably the most I've ever heard you say at one time. You must be ill if you're actually talking to people." That was Kotetsu's way of saying he got the message, but it didn't stop that comment from being obnoxious.

"It's a good thing you don't count as people, then doesn't it?" Never had I been gladder that Izumo was sitting between us. It didn't help that he was laughing though. In the end, Kotetsu and I both rolled our eyes at each other in a silent truce. We both knew we would have more chances to pick on each other in the future.

After that the boys both visibly relaxed and by the time we made it home, though their nerves hadn't left them, they had definitely calmed down. I was glad. I wasn't used to seeing those two, who had always been un-faze-able in my eyes, looking so nervous.

The week passed quietly and on the day of the exam both boys ran home holding out their shiny new Leaf headbands for all of us to see. They were so proud of themselves; it was amusing to watch.

We held a small dinner party with the Yamanaka's who brought a teething baby Ino over as well. There was food, cake, and presents for the boys making the evening one of the most enjoyable I had had in a while. The teams would be announced tomorrow, but for now they were happy and I was glad.

The next day they both came home looking excited. My father and I sat down and just listened as the two of them chattered about their new teammate and Sensei. They had in fact been put on the same team along with a girl named Etsuko. The three of them were to be taught by their new Sensei whose name was Genma.

Kotetsu complained and said he was way too young to be a teacher, but Izumo disagreed and said must have been at least eighteen and he was good. Kotetsu grudgingly agreed.

It was funny to watch them talking back and forth. Something I missed about my old friends was just talking about nothing. Here all the children my age were just that, children. It was frustrating at times.

In my old life, if something was bothering me I wouldn't tell people about it. Instead I talked. It helped me calm my thoughts and figure the answer out for myself.

There was no one here I could talk at, and sometimes I would feel like all the pointless chatter would build up inside me and explode. Wow, I must have been missing people because the image of blowing up for lack of talking is a bit melodramatic.

I miss not being melodramatic on purpose to make my friends laugh. I miss telling corny jokes back and forth just to pass the time. I miss talking about Harry Potter and exposing all the plot holes.

I miss staying up until six in the morning playing Tales of Symphonia and trying to figure out the characters and their motivations even after completing the game multiple times. For the first time in quite a while I missed my life.

No matter how screwed up it had been, I was lucky and had amazing friends. And right then I missed them more than anything else in the world.

Leave a review to make the Cookie Monster love you.

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


	6. The Girl in the Mirror

Disclaimer: I don't own anything! Except me of course.

Authors Note: I'm warning you now, this chapter is _really_ angsty. You all will get a lovely first hand view of my depressive nature. If it gets too repetitive just tell me and I'll tone it down a bit. But without further ado I present you chapter six! Enjoy :)

Chapter 6- The Girl in the Mirror

After a few months of being Genin and proving themselves capable, Kotetsu and Izumo had started taking on more missions, a fair amount being C rank. They were out of the house almost all the time now. If they weren't on a mission they were training with their team, if they weren't training with their team they were sleeping their training off.

It was interesting to watch their growth, because every time they came home, they were different. They still had the same personalities, and appearance, but they seemed more mature. Rather than complaining about chores like children, they did them quickly and would move on. I felt like I was watching what, for a normal child would take years to go through, happen in a matter of months.

It made me feel like I wasn't even making progress. I would train every morning. I would train in the evenings. I would incorporate harder things into my routine. And I still fell short. It's hard to keep going when you know there is no point. Sometimes when I feel the stitch in my side from running too long, I contemplate stopping. Like a bad dream, no matter how much you run, you don't get anywhere.

In my mind I could tell that I had made progress. I was a lot stronger than I was even a month ago. In fact, if I were to keep this up, I would almost have as much of an advantage at the academy as a clan child would. I would never be equal to one but I would only fall a few rungs short. And still a voice whispers in my ear, it's still not enough. Honestly, I have to agree.

When reading Naruto you are following his life. He never had weak enemies or allies. You get used to everyone being super strong; because from the beginning of the story that's all you see. It's hard to step back and realize that they are all the best of the best. Like the Konoha twelve, the legendary Sanin. When reading Naruto all you hear about are the Akatsuki, the Kage, the Yellow Flash, the White Fang. You never read about the average Genin, usually because they never live long enough to have a story.

It's like walking on a pond. You never notice how deep it is because you never swam your way up. I was painfully aware of how deep in the water I was. From my place down there I can't even see the sun's light penetrating the surface. And with the pressure of everything above me, is it any wonder I want to give up before even starting?

It's thoughts like these that cloud my mind. My only chance of changing anything would be to use my Green Disposition in battle. But then people would know. The Green Disposition is like the bastard child of the Senju Wood Release, but bastard or not, it's still in the same family. Wood is a type of plant, and though I can't do anything with wood, who's to say my descendents won't be either? It would be terrible if Orochimaru were to get his hands on my DNA. I'm not strong enough to use my strengths and survive. I'm a fish that can't swim. Either way I'm useless. But what really set me off, was the mirror.

It was just a regular day as I went through my daily routine, when I noticed my hair getting in my way. It had grown so much in the past half year. My hair always grows quickly. Where a normal person's hair will grow3-7 inches a year, mine will grow 6-10. Sighing in annoyance I decided to add to my routine. Now I had to spend five minutes every day brushing my hair and tying it back. I head upstairs and move toward the bathroom with brush in hand. All it took was one look. One insignificant peek.

I can't believe this. Looking in the mirror shouldn't have filled me with horror but right now it was. Because staring back at me, was me. Though I looked a lot younger right now, I could see exactly what I would look like in eleven years or so. Because that was _me._ The person in the mirror had the same stringy, frizzy hair as I used to. It was so dark brown most people thought it was black, and though it looked disgusting now, by the time I was fourteen it would calm down and actually start looking nice.

Her eyes, the Girl in the mirrors, were almost the same dark shade of brown as her hair. But I knew that in the proper lighting it wouldn't be hard to spot a rustic red in there. Just like I knew that in the sunlight they would get a yellow tint, making her eyes look like dark honey. The girl in the mirror had the same tan skin and slightly longer than usual nose that I had. Because the girl in the mirror was me.

What do I do now? I had the same body I did in my last life, but even if it was familiar, that was a bad thing. I never had the body type for sports. Maybe while I was a child like I am now, but I knew that once I hit age ten, maybe eve nine, that it was all downhill from there.

Even if I trained and toned my body now it would still grow exactly like it had in my past life. The only difference between the two would be more muscle, perhaps thinner. No matter how much I work out though, I will still have huge breast. It's laughable really. That the main thing that is holding me back is something that most girls would do anything, even mutilate their own bodies, to achieve.

But really, how many huge breasted athletes are there? Sure anime and manga and video games flaunt perfectly capable, big breasted women, but in real life, they were a nuisance. The Amazon women get where I'm coming from. They used to cut off their left breast, sometimes both, just so they could properly use a bow and arrow. I wasn't about to cut off my breasts.

It's silly but this was the straw that broke the camel's back. Before I would have moped but gotten over myself, I would have continued my work. Now it felt like my own body was working against me. Your body is one thing that has always, is always, and will always be yours. It's like the ultimate betrayal. To me this was worse than being a baby and not having full control of my limbs. It was worse than dying in the hospital, your body too broken to respond to your commands. Because it was something I couldn't stop.

I relearned control as a baby. In the hospital I died, perhaps it wasn't the most anticipated outcome, but it fixed my problem. Right now I know that there is so much to do. So much to change. I was already having the 'who am I to play god' problem. And my body wasn't cooperating. I knew how it was going to grow. And I couldn't stop it. My body was no longer mine. It was just a shadow, the remains of who I used to be. And I couldn't shake it off.

By this point I was hyperventilating. I had to distance myself from my thoughts. I ended up spending nearly a week just sitting in, meditating in, and feeding chakra to, the garden. I could tell my parents were worried about me. I knew I was sulking, but right now it all just felt so _hopeless_. After spending a week clearing my mind and calming my heart I knew I had to get over it, but it would be so hard. I was scared.

It really felt like everything was going against me. I felt like even if I continued I would feel like a robot on auto pilot, and eventually I would malfunction and collapse from the inside out. My thoughts weren't pleasant ones. Now I felt like I was working on a time limit. Maybe I should ask Tsunade how she fights with big boobs, my delirious mind supplied. I'd most likely get the crap beaten out of me for trying. I needed a plan. Something to focus on, to center my mind, and help me reach my goal.

The only thing I could think of was to just continue. I had already decided to be a ninja and maybe it wouldn't be as hard as I thought it would be with boobs. Sheena always managed alright... My thoughts snapped back to attention as I felt someone in the grass next to our fence door. I could tell it was Yamanaka-san.

"Good morning Suikazura. Would you like to help me with the plants today?" shoving aside my sudden sense of déjà vu, I nod my head and answer.

"Okay, I'm not doing anything important right now anyway," maybe I could get some advice from him. It was worth a try. We begin to make our way over to the greenhouses and he picks up the conversation where I left it open.

"Nothing important? I thought you trained in the mornings,"

"But it's not enough," is my quiet answer. He was silent for a while before speaking again.

"You've come to a standstill then, have you? I'll tell you now that's no reason to give up,"

"I know," I say louder, my frustration leaking into my voice. I wanted to ask for his opinion, for his wisdom, but I couldn't very well say I was frustrated because I was scared to fight evil villains that haven't even made an appearance yet. I couldn't tell him I was scared because I knew I would only ever be average at most, that I was scared of my own ability because I knew it would get me killed one day. So instead I settled for,

"I saw the monster that attacked two years ago. It was huge. How am I supposed to get strong enough to protect this village? How is someone with as little talent and aptitude as I supposed to grow enough to pose some sort of threat to my enemies and the enemies of my village? I don't know what to do," by the end I was practically pleading with him, hoping he would give me all the answers; but I know it doesn't work like that.

"The attack two years ago was a great tragedy and I am sorry you had to witness it. You should know though, that the chances of that happening again are too low to worry about," if only he knew.

"If the chances were high enough for it to happen once, then they are high enough for something like that to happen again. I saw those bodies; next time will it be me? Will it be because I wasn't strong enough? Or will I just make a stupid mistake. Then again what would it matter when I end up the same either way: dead," I think he was a little disturbed at hearing all of this from someone my age, but I couldn't have stopped myself even if I wanted to. Even the tiniest of cracks can break the dam.

It was then that he did something I wasn't expecting; when he earned my complete respect. He lowered himself to his knees. He lowered himself to the height of a despairing child and looked me right in the eye. With the utmost sincerity he spoke.

"When the time comes that you fight with the rest of us as a shinobi, you will fight. You will be strong, and if you aren't strong enough you will fall back in line and try again, this time with your teammates. Where you fall short they will pick up the slack. If you make a mistake they will help you fix it. You fight for this village but do not forget this village fights with you," and so I told him my secret.

"I don't want to be a ninja," my voice is quiet. It is the voice of a scared child; a child confessing their deepest fear. And by the look on his face it must have thrown him off something good. But now he was curious.

"If you do not wish to be a ninja, why do you train so hard? Why do you work so much? Your family has not pressured you into it; you have no obligation to repay. Why are you trying?" why was I trying? I don't know any of the characters personally. My attachment to them comes from a fond childhood memory. If I didn't want to get involved I didn't have to. In fact if I was lucky I would die when Orochimaru attacks the village. I could so easily die and move on. I don't need to be around for Pein's attack or Madara's plan. But if I was planning on dying anyway, why not go out with a bang? Or at least do something useful. And that was why I was trying. I knew I would die anyway, I knew there was no way for me to screw things up more than they already were, so why not.

I don't even know if I will pass the Genin exam, and after that is the Jounin test. Okay. I'll go to the academy. I'll push myself to my bodies' limits. And if I can't be a ninja there are other ways to help the village. Maybe I'll get a job in the Hokage tower as an assistant or something. Maybe I could work with the Yamanaka's. Their family is one of the main medicinal herb cultivators. And what else is in such dire need during a war than medicine.

Without even know the real problem, he had calmed me down and washed away all my fears. Even if I stay at the bottom of the pond, I can still do my part. I don't need to swim to the top; I just have to keep the others afloat. It was so alleviating. I don't remember the last time I smiled like that. My whole face felt like it would crack from the force with which it came, but I didn't care. He looked startled by my sudden change of mood causing me to laugh. It felt good to surprise a ninja of his caliber.

"Well then if you're feeling better let's get to work," and I can't stop my grin at his last mumbled words.

"Not even a teenager yet and she already has such crazy mood swings. I swear if Ino ever…" my heart felt light as I practically floated behind him helping where I could.

I know it's a bit shorter than the last two but it seemed like a good spot to cut it. Anyways I hope you liked it. Leave a review and come again.

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


	7. Nightfalls Embrace

Disclaimer- Is chocolate a vegetable? No? Then it's not mine.

Authors Note- I had to fight tooth and nail to have the computer long enough to write this chapter so you better be grateful. Well I guess you don't need to be… Either way I hope you enjoy. I changed it to Yamanaka-san because the site kept deleting his name. I hope it doesn't throw you off too much.

Chapter 7- Nightfalls Embrace

It was nice to finally be excited about the prospect of school. Before I was homeschooled in my old life I had been forced to go to one of those uber-religious ones. The teachers were terrible, and the students were shallow. In the end I had faced school with a very passive mindset. I never tried, never failed, I didn't try to be good, but I was never a troublesome student either. All in all, I was just there.

In the beginning I went with every intention of learning as much as I could, but over the years I felt my will to learn just die. It was different now though. I wasn't going to school; I was going to the academy. I wasn't learning about the Fertile Crescent I was learning about the Great Shinobi wars. There was no thirty minute gym; instead we incorporated physical activities almost everywhere.

It was exciting to be at a place of learning and actually gaining knowledge from it. My teachers treated me like all the other children but I could tell they were pleased that I wanted to learn. They soon noticed that the other children never got along with me. To them I was different weird. They never picked on me or bullied me; I don't give off the air of someone easy to pick on, but they stayed away.

It was almost laughable really. In my old life I made myself seem unapproachable to most because I didn't want to know them. Their every day worries mad me sick. Here I was in a place where I may have been able to make friends and I'd already scared them away. I was content to be the way I used to be. Just the kid in the back of the classroom reading a book. And there were so many books.

There were books about all subjects, about the wars, and about Jutsu, fighting styles and great shinobi both dead and alive. There was so much to learn about I felt like my head might explode just trying to cram it all in. Over the past six years my whole world had revolved around my house, backyard, playground, the market place, and the Yamanaka's house. I forgot how much more there was out here.

At age six there is not much a child could do with their chakra, so instead of practice they would cover chakra theory. We learned all about the chakra points, and physical and spiritual chakra. We learned about the proper balance we would have to have inside our bodies to properly perform Jutsu. Up until that point I had just jumped to my own conclusions and taken things I remembered from the show to help me. It was refreshing to get a full description.

My favorite part of the day by far though, was meditation. During that time most of the kids would cause trouble because it was hard for them to sit still for so long, but I loved the chance to retreat into my own mind and think about what I had learned.

I don't know if you could call it my mindscape. In my old life as a preteen I had always been unsettled and on edge. To calm me down a friend of my mothers had taught me to build a workshop. She talked me through the process and the end result was interesting to say the least. I had been there so many times by now I could easily close my eyes and see my space. But the first time was different. I had to build; I had to find my way there on my own.

It's like navigating the corners of your mind until you find a spot comfortable enough to relax. So I walked the hallways, opened the doors, and found myself in front of a stair case. It reached so far down I couldn't see the end, but I followed it anyways. It was long and winding and sometimes I could have sworn I was going up rather than down. It was hard to keep track after a while.

Eventually the stairs dropped me off at a door. Turning around I found the staircase to be missing, as if their only purpose had been to drop me off at this very spot. Normally I'd be wary of something like that but for some reason it had felt right to go through the door. Like it was mine and I belonged there. So I went inside. And it was beautiful.

It was a wide forest clearing, the trees lining it on all sides in a giant circle. The dark forest, instead of feeling foreboding, felt like a barrier. They were there to protect me from what lay beyond. I could see the sky high up above me, baby blue with just a few wispy clouds. And there in the center of the field was a chair. Not just any chair, a squishy armchair. In the middle of a forest no less. I had always known I was weird but now it felt like my mind was just rubbing it in.

The chair back was to me so I stepped forward, eager to see what it was facing. It was facing my fears. There was a small raised platform that the chairs front was facing, and on the platform was a door labeled fear. The door scared me back then but now I know what lies beyond because I had been there before.

Behind that door was my family, both old and new. Behind that door was the future. Behind that door was me. And I had long ago come to terms with that. Its why this chair was here; but it wasn't all bad and scary. There was another door as well. Behind that door was my happiness. It contained my friends, my family, all the silly moments that my life consisted of. Behind that door were feelings of contentment and happiness. That door hadn't always been there.

When I had first discovered this place there had only been the fear door. When I had first discovered this place I had been at such a bad point it my life. But I had found it; my inner peace. And now this place was my inner peace. It was here that I would think through decisions, and come to terms with grief. It was here that I would settle my frayed nerves and calm my harshly beating heart.

Everything here was alive and I soon realized that it always had been. This feeling of life was the same I got from plants. I had never noticed that before. I wondered if I could grow the things here inside my mind. I gently lay my hands on the ground and felt my chakra pulse beneath me- loud noises were pulling me out and, opening my eyes, I had to gape.

What had once been the packed earth of the school training field was now overgrown with flowers of all kinds. Flowers, weed, vines, bushes; everything was all cramped here in this area. Some of the kids were screaming, others were laughing, and more still were staring at the teachers demanding an explanation. But the teachers were just as bewildered as the students. If any of them had been paying attention they would have seen my red face and known; but they weren't.

I pretended to be confused like the rest of the kids as the teachers ushered us inside. Despite how stupid that was of me, I really wanted to laugh. It was hilarious. The poor teachers were at one moment trying to get the children to sit still and think and the next moment there in a flower field teeming with life. And their bewildered expressions were priceless.

By the time I got home I could barely contain my giggles. I decided to talk about it to Kotetsu and Izumo. I'm sure they would get a good laugh hearing about what I have now deemed the Flower Incident. I was right. By the end of my explanation the two of them were caught in a fit of giggles just imagining what their old teachers must have looked like. And that's how my father found us, all hunched over on the floor giggling uncontrollably. By the time we calmed down and had dinner, I finally noticed how tired I was. Whatever I had done must have taken a lot of energy.

It was getting dark but it wasn't quite my bed time yet so I went outside to stare at the sky. It was beautiful to watch the blues fade into the orange, and the red cling to the clouds still in the sky. It was peaceful here, not as nice as my workshop, but nice enough to fall asleep. I felt like I was floating through my dreams that night and when I woke up I was in my bed. My father must have carried me in.

My peaceful feeling stayed with me that morning all the way up until I got to school. For the first half of the school year we had focused on the basic fighting style that everyone was taught and that everyone used until they added onto it or found their own. And today was to be our first day of sparring with each other.

In my old life I had never been able to fight even when I took karate. I just can't do it. I would go up and instead of hitting my opponent I would joke around and play the stupid fool so that I didn't have to fight. I would give up before I began so that I didn't hurt myself. But I couldn't do that here. I had to fight my classmates and I tried to apply what I knew to the battle, but for me the moment the fight begins I forget about all my training and the instinct to hightail it out of there kicks in.

They always say that it comes down to the two basic instincts of fight or flight. I always chose flight; I knew I was a coward. So there I was faced off against one of my classmates, every instinct telling me to run while my determination and my pride tell me to stand and fight. The end result was a sloppy stance and excessive dodging, before landing on my butt on the ground. It was really embarrassing, and only rubbed in my former assessment. I can't fight.

Sure I could get in a punch here and a kick there, but they were never well aimed and I hesitated. When someone went to hit me I backed up, flinched, and closed my eyes. No matter how many times I got up, no matter who I fought, I always ended up in the same place; the ground.

In the beginning of the year I had the advantage. I had been training my body for two years by that point. But in only half a year the other students had already caught up. So not only were they equal to me in strength, they had more of a fighting spirit. I'm a, get a distraction out there and hide, type of person whereas they are the, fight until you win, type. And the deference in the strength between us was all too clear.

Even after spending the next half a year pitting myself against them, I only learned to dodge. But maybe that's all I needed. I spent the entire summer vacation trying to think of a way to fight. Everything I came up with would only ever make me get really good at escaping. I could think of a way to use my Green Disposition in battle but that would bring way to much danger. Besides what good would tripping enemies with a plant do?

I would only hold someone off and even then not for long. If they were good they could easily cut through or burn any vines that got in their way. I sighed wearily; I really wasn't cut out for this. My gloomy thoughts were interrupted when I saw an equally gloomy, Yamanaka-san heading in this direction.

"Is something wrong, Yamanaka-san?" I enquired politely. He sighed as if greatly stressed before answering.

"You know about my clans farms outside the village, yes?" I nod my head. The Yamanaka clan grew all different types of plants outside the village. Many were sent to the hospital for medicine while even more was turned into poisons to be used by the shinobi of the village.

"There was a bit of a problem by one of them and now we have a shortage. The hospital won't be too happy about that," he tried to make it sound like it was no big deal but I knew how bad it must be if he was this upset. Upset enough to talk to a seven year old girl about his problems. Yikes, it must be bad.

I thought for a few moments, trying to come to a decision. He already knew about my Green Disposition. He had only seen it small scale and not for over a year, but he knew all the same. Maybe I could help him. No one had attacked or kidnapped me yet so I assumed I hadn't done anything wrong by existing. I had to gather my courage before speaking and even then it was in a quiet voice.

"I could help,"

"What was that?"

"I could help," I repeat, louder this time. He gave me a long look, as if measuring if it was worth it. He seemed like he was at the point where it couldn't get any worse and nodded his head.

"Why don't you go get your shoes while I tell your parents where you will be," he then begins in the direction of my house.

"I don't need my shoes so I'll go with you," the amused, raised eyebrow was enough to prompt me into elaborating.

"It's easier to feel them when a part of me has contact with the ground," and it was true. I could now feel the plants with shoes on but it was so much easier without them. I don't think he quite understood, but he nodded his head all the same. After a quick word with my father who was at the house at the time, we were off.

It was an hour away at the civilian pace, outside the village gates. Two Chunin guarding the way nodded at Yamanaka-san and let us throw. I had to suppress a laugh at the thought of one day seeing Izumo and Kotetsu sitting there.

"Is something amusing Suikazura?"

"Ah no. I was just thinking that they seem a little bored,"

"Even I will admit to disliking gate guard duty. It isn't the most sought after mission and I must say I am glad my Chunin days are over," this time I did laugh. Just the thought of a bored Inoichi sitting at the door with his equally bored teammates was funny.

We eventually made it out of the heavily wooded area and in the distance I could see neatly organized rows of flowers. I could feel it too. Stretching my chakra out from my feet I could feel all of the happily growing plants. The problem lay on the other side of the building. Where more rows of plants should be, there was what felt like a gaping hole.

Turns out my description was spot on. After turning the corner I stared openly at the site before me. It looked like a meteor storm landed here. There were dents in the ground, and charred plants all over the place.

"What in the world happened here?" I couldn't keep the incredulity out of my voice. I must have looked amusing because Yamanaka-san had to stop laughing before he replied.

"It was an accident. Two Chunin strayed a bit too far from the closest training area," said two Chunin looked exhausted. I realized that Yamanaka-san must have made them stay to fix the damage done. They were both bent over picking up weapons and disposing of dead and destroyed plants. It was with a revelation of amusement and slight horror that I realized I was looking at a seventeen year old Asuma and Guy sensei. The horrifying part was the green spandex.

"Alright you two if your done here get going so I can get the experts in," Asuma looked relieved and then annoyed as guy replied.

"We shall never be done as long as we have our youth-"he was cut off by a smack to the back of his head.

"We will be going them Yamanaka-san," they both bowed politely and in a flash were gone.

"I know I said I would help Yamanaka-san, but there isn't much I can do with a blown up field,"

"I don't expect you to do anything yet. Someone should be here soon to fix the damage. If you manage to get even just a few of them growing afterwards that would be a huge help. At first I thought I would have to re-grow everything. That would have been a nightmare," I just nodded my head in reply.

While waiting I decided to sit and see how all the other plants were. I could tell they were well taken care of but there was something about chakra, or my chakra to be a little more specific, that just made them grow. I only leaked the tiniest bit towards the other plants but the grass around me was trying to reach my elbows. Then a thought occurred to me. If I could give life to plants could I take it too?

A little hesitantly I reached out to the grass under me, but this time instead of pushing I pulled. For a moment I felt unbalanced. It was as if the whole world had tilted on its axis but my body soon began to adjust, and when it did… I could feel _everything._

I felt not only the plants in this area but the entire forest. I could feel the man jumping through the trees in this direction as well as the outskirts of the town. There was so much for my brain to process and I couldn't keep up. I immediately cut off whatever I had done and fearfully opened my eyes. The grass surrounding me was dead as if I had sucked the life right out of it, which in a sense, I did. I looked up and my eyes caught Yamanaka-san's. He was openly staring at me in shock and I fearfully stared back, neither of us blinking. Oh man, that can't be good.

Our miniature staring contest was interrupted as the person I had sensed approaching arrived. He still hadn't taken his eyes off of me as he addressed the man.

"Inari, I am sure you know what to do by now. Please head over to the destroyed area and begin. I will be with you shortly," the man- Inari looked hesitant at first. I can see why. What must it be like to stumble upon a Jounin having a staring contest with a little girl? In the end he just nodded his head and jumped away.

"Suikazura, walk with me," I didn't even bother protesting. Getting up I quietly followed behind him.

"What did you do just now?" and in a small, fearful voice I answered,

"I-I don't know," but I did know. Somehow through some sick twist of fate, I had accidentally drawn on nature chakra. I was lucky to be alive, had my body not adjusted fast enough I'd have been turned into an animal. The grass around me must have died because I was focusing on it when I drew the chakra in. The shock at what had happened had a numbing effect on my emotions.

"What you did was dangerous. Even I do not know what may have befallen you. I expect you are smart enough not to try something like that again," his voice was stern like he expected nothing less than my full cooperation.

"Of course Yamanaka-san,"

"I believe after what happened today we may need to have a talk with the Hokage," well that broke the numbing shock.

"W-what?" I sputtered. He looked at me sternly as he responded.

"Stop panicking. I spoke with the Hokage a few years ago when I first learned of your abilities and was told to watch your growth. I have. There is someone in this village with similar abilities to yours. Though he may not be the perfect teacher he should be able to help you better than most right now," well that was surprising. I hadn't thought they would give Yamato up long enough to train me.

It made sense though. If they could have me master my power than I would be helpful to the village. They will be disappointed when they find I have no talent for fighting. With no other choice I just nod my head. We were now heading back towards the destroyed area, or what had once been the destroyed area. Now it just looked like someone had tilled the ground in preparation of planting.

"Yamanaka-san, I've finished with the field. Is there anything else you need from me?"

"No no, you're good to go. Suikazura, are you still up for helping?"

"Yes," I wanted to fix what I'd broken. Standing there in the middle of the field I wiggled my toes in the dirt and extended myself into it. It felt like I was giving off roots and I attached parts of myself to all of the un-grown plants. I sent out an extra part to the circle of grass I had destroyed, I didn't want to leave it like that. Once I had connected myself to everything I started letting my chakra slide through my unseen roots. And then I blacked out.

Leave a review to stall the zombies.

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


	8. Dead Last

Disclaimer: If you're reading this, it means I don't own Naruto.

Authors Note: I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without their motives being questioned, and Self-Inserts don't suck. Alas this time is yet to come, so for now you must entertain yourselves with this meager substitute. Enjoy.

Chapter 8- Dead Last

My body felt stiff as I made my way back to consciousness. I sat up slowly and looked around the room I was in. I didn't recognize it. It was a plain room with only the bare necessities. I assumed I had been brought to the hospital, and the familiar beeping noise of a heart monitor confirmed my thoughts.

So I had fainted. Why? Chakra exhaustion? I didn't feel exhausted, but I guess that's why I'm at the hospital. Maybe it was an affect from using nature chakra. I don't think my body was able to handle the strain that it put on me. And after using my chakra again so soon on such a large scale it made sense.

The nature chakra. It was amazing. After only one taste of the power it gave me I could already feel myself craving more. It was like an addiction. But I can't use that. It's not safe, especially without being taught how to use it properly. I should stop thinking about things that tempt me. It won't get me anywhere in the long run.

If I can super grow plants and kill plants what else can I do? Maybe I can control how they grow. Instead of taking in their chakra if I just attach it to mine and bend it… it could work but I would need to experiment, and before I do that I need to get out of the hospital. With thoughts of tomorrow I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

The next time I woke up my room had a lot more people in it. My whole family as well as a doctor had squeezed themselves in my room. As I sat up in my bed all conversation stopped as everyone turned to look at me.

"If you ever scare me like that again young lady you will be grounded for so long that your grandchildren will be stuck in the house as well," that's a nice greeting. Love you too mom.

"Sorry," I mumble and my father sighs as he explains a little.

"Yamanaka-san came home yesterday without you and said you collapsed in the field. He told us he brought you to the hospital and the doctors said you had fainted due to a large strain on your chakra system," he stumbled a bit over the chakra part. As a civilian he didn't really know much about it.

"What were you doing that caused your chakra system to go on the fritz like that?" I didn't know how to answer Kotetsu so I just shrugged my shoulders. He narrowed his eyes at me and then turned to Izumo. They seemed to have a silent conversation before they both nodded their heads and looked like nothing had happened.

That made me kind of nervous. It probably meant they would question me later. So now another two will know. I can't keep it a secret from them. Plus they had every right to know. I sigh heavily as the doctor takes me off all the machines.

"Your chakra isn't stable yet and won't be for a few more days. We will send you home today but I expect you to refrain from using it. Even the smallest chakra control training can affect your system again. In three days you will come back to the hospital again for a checkup. If everything comes out clean then you will be able to train again. But only after you get the okay from a doctor," I think he was half expecting me to refuse. How often do they get stubborn ninja who refuse to go a day without training? Must be a common thing.

I just nod my head. This doesn't seem to comfort him at all so instead he turns to my parents for confirmation. Sneaky. He made sure my parents would stop me from doing anything. Not that I was planning to go against him. If it wasn't safe I wasn't stupid enough to do anything. Besides I could feel my chakra and it was a little wonky right now. I could use it but I wouldn't know if it would blow up in my face or not.

Then it occurred to me if I couldn't control my chakra then everything would start growing. Oh man. The yard will be overgrown by the nights end. Poor Yamanaka-san. He will have so much of a mess to clean up tomorrow. I couldn't feel too bad though. Right now Yamanaka-san wasn't on my nice list. I wasn't angry at him per say, but I was frustrated at him. He most likely spoke with the Hokage already. I wonder what they decided on.

I tried to rush home because every time I took a step grass began to poke through the dirt. I didn't want to stay long enough for it to really start growing. By the time we got back to the house it was raining cats and dogs. Frankly I was glad for the excuse to stay inside. Even if I couldn't do chakra training I could still do my physical exercises but right now I really wasn't in the mood.

My whole body felt weird. The nature chakra had done something and I didn't know what. It felt as if my chakra was confused, like it didn't remember where to go and was revolting against itself. My chakra was spiking and flaring inside me as if fighting a war under my skin. It was unsettling to say the least.

I needed to think so I began to make my way up to my room where I could comfortably settle in my workshop. That is I _was_ going up the stairs until I was intercepted by a very serious looking Kotetsu. Without saying anything he grabbed my hand and led me to his room where an equally serious Izumo sat on the bed. Kotetsu went over to join him before speaking.

"Explain," I glared a little at the curt tone he was using.

"_Please_," he added, rolling his eyes. Rather than argue I just sat myself down on the floor. I took my time settling down causing Kotetsu to tap his foot in impatience. Finally comfortable I looked up at them.

"A few years ago I discovered the Green Disposition," their confused faces were hilarious. Even during such a serious conversation I couldn't give up the opportunity to pick on them.

"The what?" Izumo finally inquired. Sighing as if it were the most troublesome thing in the world I explained.

"I discovered that when I am in close contact with plants of any type, they grow. Over the years the area that would grow when I was around grew. I've been working on my chakra control so that I don't accidentally run the village over with flowers. I spent the last few years learning to control the growth. I have gotten to the point where the ones near me barely grow at all and the ones in contact with me only grow as much as I let them,"

They were both staring at me with wide disbelieving eyes before Kotetsu started glaring.

"So you're the reason we have to mow the lawn twice a week! I can't believe it. Do you know how annoying that is?" my only response was to laugh. Trust Kotetsu to be the one to focus on something as petty as extra chores when learning something like this. It was rather relieving really. I was happy that learning this didn't change how he felt about me. I was still waiting for Izumo's reaction.

"So you can super grow any plant with just a touch. That's rather interesting. But that doesn't explain what happened yesterday," I hesitated a moment, not quite sure how to proceed. I just decided on the truth. Well, the modified truth.

"There was an incident at one of the Yamanaka farms. Part of their harvest was destroyed. Yamanaka-san knows of my Green Disposition and I offered to help so that the loss wasn't as bad as it could have been," they were both nodding, keeping up so far.

"When we got there we still had to wait for the man who would be fixing the ground for the re-planting. Is sat down during the wait and decided to experiment a little, I wanted to see if instead of giving the plants my chakra would I be able to take theirs," they both frowned a moment before Izumo brought up what was bothering him.

"If you were to take a plants chakra wouldn't that kill it?" I shrugged in response causing Kotetsu's frown to deepen.

"I thought you loved plants. Why would you intentionally do something that could kill them?"

"I didn't know for sure until I tried, that's why it's called and experiment. You're testing something to figure out the end result. In this case the end result was the death of some grass," he seemed kinda pissed at my curt reply.

It did bother me that I killed that grass. I was able to feel it wither and die. I was rather irritated with them for just assuming that I didn't feel for it because I had done the experiment knowing what could have happened. I sighed in annoyance before continuing.

"I needed to test my limits. And I'm glad I found out what I did when I did. The chakra I pulled in was weird. It messed with my system and that's why I fainted later when I tried to grow things on the farm. I like knowing about this now rather than in a few years when I'm in a battle. The result of that could be disastrous," he looked down avoiding my eyes.

He probably felt guilty now. The part of me that was still annoyed wanted to let him wallow in his guilt but I knew I would feel bad later. Instead I got up and sat on the bed next to him. It was then that I did something very out of character. I gave him a hug.

"You didn't know," I murmur quietly.

"We were worried about you. We got back from our mission only to find out you had been hospitalized," Izumo's voice trembled for a moment. It occurred to me that they must have been scared out of their minds, to come back from a mission and hear something like that.

What thoughts must have run through their minds? The two of them, like me, had a habit of over thinking when it wasn't necessary. By the time they got to the hospital they must have thought I had a stroke or something. I felt guilty for worrying them as I reached out and grasped his hand to comfort him.

"I'm fine guys. I'm sorry I worried you,"

"You should be. Just for that you have to do my chores for a week," the blank look I gave Kotetsu was enough to have him repeal that statement.

"Well if you won't do my chores you should at least do _something_- and again with that look! If you have something to say, say it to my face," so after some uncontrollable giggling on my part, I did.

"I love you guys. You know that, right?" they both turned tomato red at that causing me to laugh even harder.

"Well I'm pretty tired still so I'm going to go lay down," and with that I made my great escape. Finally: a moment of peace. Sorta. It was hard to feel peaceful with my chakra acting like this.

My workshop was a wreck. The trees surrounding the clearing felt suffocating, and the plants were all overgrown and giving roots off in all directions. At least the chair was still comfy. I sat quietly and watched as the plants tried to figure out how to grow properly. Nature chakra was off limits. I wasn't going to take the risk of trying to use it properly. Not now and maybe not ever. It depended really. How strong I got was definitely one of the variables.

I needed to decide if I would use The Green Disposition in battle or not. Right now I was a painfully average child; the advantage of The Green Disposition would be helpful. But I know for a fact that Orochimaru has spies in Konoha. If he gets wind of this it would be right to the lab for me. I'm nowhere near strong enough to protect myself and I know I'm not useful enough for the village to do much about getting me back.

The safest time for me to use it would have to be after I got on a Genin team, but by that point the chances of being good enough to get a good team would be low, maybe even low enough to fail the Jounin exam. If I played my cards right I can get on a team, at that point I would just have to use the Green Disposition to convince the Jounin sensei that he wanted to pass us.

If I could get that far, far enough to have a Jounin watching my back and training me, maybe, just maybe, I would be alright. If not then I guess I just die. It may seem weird but the whole 'do or die' mindset works best for me. I can be very lazy even with my life on the line, but the extra push it gives me is worth it.

If I wasn't so scared about the future I'd probably have ended up as a Shikamaru wannabe. I will still need a teacher to motivate me. Without one I will just end up getting depressed and start slacking on my training. I need someone who will force me into it. Maybe I could convince Yamanaka-san. If not him then I'm sure I could get Izumo and Kotetsu.

As my thoughts became less and less progressive and more garbled I eventually fell asleep. By the time I woke up dinner was already being cooked. And boy was I hungry. My chakra was exhausting itself inside my body making my appetite sky rocket. The fact that I hadn't eaten since breakfast may have also been a factor.

The dinner conversation was quiet; that is it was, until I saw Izumo elbow Kotetsu in the ribs. I raised my eyebrow at him in question but he just shrugged it off. That was strange. I guessed I would have to wait for Kotetsu to finish chewing to find out what that was about. I didn't have to wait long.

"In a month Izumo and I are going to Suna," he states bluntly. Izumo smacked his head and with a resigned sigh decided to elaborate for my confused parents.

"Our teacher thinks we are ready for the Chunin exams. The next one is being held in Sunagakure in a months' time,"

"Chunin already? But your only fourteen!" my mother sounded worried.

"I wanted to be entered last time but sensei said we weren't ready. And fourteen is plenty old enough. Some people become one at twelve,"

"Just because other children are ready earlier then fourteen, doesn't mean you two are. I'm going with you tomorrow. I'd like to speak to your sensei," I tuned out the following argument. So they were going to Suna. I have no doubt that when they come back they will have made it to Chunin.

Their announcement had caught me by surprise though. I knew I shouldn't be worried; their teacher will be spending this whole month training them in preparation. But they were my brothers, how could I not worry? I convinced myself to get over it and be happy for them; and I was. They were both excited for this chance to prove themselves, and as ninja that was never anything they wanted to give up.

The next few days passed slowly as my chakra system began to fix itself. I was relieved when the doctors gave me the 'okay' so that I could use my chakra again. Aside from the fact that school picked back up soon, I really wanted to try some of the new things I'd thought of.

My second idea would only work if my first one did so the moment I got back I went straight to the backyard. Looking around I spotted a thriving honey suckle vine. Perfect. Resting a hand on it, instead of just imagining it grow, I imagined it grow at me. If I could get it to listen then it would be very helpful in a battle. I may not be fast but if I could restrain an enemy long enough to launch a successful attack then I could make it work.

I could barely suppress my happy laughter as I opened my eyes. The vine was growing slowly, but it was growing up my arm. That's all I needed. I could work on my speed now that I knew it worked. If I get it fast enough it will be perfectly applicable in battle.

It would take a few years to perfect. I would be inventing my own fighting style that would only ever work for me. But it was so exciting. Thoughts of being weak and unable to protect myself didn't occur to me right then because at that moment I felt like I was finally making progress. I was finally doing something to get me to my goal. Whatever that was.

When school started up a week later I found my first friend. Her name was Hana Inuzuka. She was nice, if a bit rowdy but I was alright with that. It made her the perfect sparring partner. She was really nice and was a good sport. I have a habit of insulting people. It's my form of joking sometimes and a lot of the kids didn't like me because they thought I was mean.

It was nice to talk with someone who took my insults in stride and gave back as good as she got. I miss verbally sparring but now I may get the chance to practice again. It had been so long I was getting rusty. Classes were just a bit more enjoyable with her next to me.

Now that the majority of our class was seven we were old enough to begin chakra control exercises. The first one we were introduced to was Leaf Concentration. We were told to put a leaf on our forehead and use our chakra to make it stick. The only problem was every time I put a leaf to my forehead it began to grow. It got to the point where I was switching leaves every time the teachers turned their backs.

That worked fine until they started inspecting how each of us did individually. I didn't want people to know about my Green Disposition yet so I did the only thing I could at the time. I pretended to fail. Every time I put a leaf to my forehead I would repel it with my chakra so that it would fall to the floor.

I got lectured a lot for that one, but most of the other students found it amusing. I'm glad someone enjoyed my misfortune. It was really embarrassing, especially when I could probably do it with paper or something else. They never let me try though and I got the reputation as this year's dead last.

I wasn't; in fact I was almost at the top when it came to most of the academic classes, the only thing holding my back there was my reluctance to do homework. And even though I was an average taijutsu user I wasn't the worst. But because of my supposed lack of chakra control and my bad luck that had me pitted against the top of our class when we sparred, I was known as the dead last.

This year I learned about more of my classmates and imagine my surprise when I finally realized Itachi Uchiha was in my class. I had spent so much time worrying about myself and my problems that I didn't even know my class well enough to realize he was in it. I felt terrible. Here was a chance to make even the smallest difference and I wasn't paying enough attention to take it.

I wanted to approach him but I had no idea how to do that. Plus he would probably hate me. I had a reputation as the dead last, and I was a girl. We were seven and half the class was already in love with him. Sometimes it really made me want to bang my head against a table. Not knowing how to approach him I decided on my default: I was going to wing it.

"Would you spar with me?" the look he gave me was hilarious. I had found him when he was alone and just gone right up and asked him. We hadn't had any interactions yet. He probably thought I was one of his fangirls as well. After his initial shock wore off he looked kind of irritated. Maybe this was a bad idea… oh well too late to back out now.

"Fine," was his curt reply as he headed towards an open area. He then proceeded to beat me into the ground. It _hurt._ But I got up over and over. I blocked where I could and dodged when there was a chance. I almost landed a hit and was so proud of myself that I caught his next punch right in the stomach.

The outcome was predictable but it felt good to go all out like that. In normal spars we stopped when the winner was apparent but with him just now I was able to go until I truly felt like collapsing. It felt so good to give a fight everything you have and I couldn't stop the smile as I thanked him. That caught him off guard again.

He probably thought I had asked to spar so I could spend time with him, I did, but not as a fangirl. Now he looked really irritated. I don't think he likes being caught by surprise, especially by the dead last.

"Why are you thanking me?"

"I really needed that. It's nice to go all out. We don't get too during the official spars and my brothers never even try. I hope you spar with me again," and with that I left a very bewildered Itachi at the school practice field. He probably thought I was a masochist.

By the time I got home I was sporting some impressive bruises. He really hadn't been going easy on me. I don't usually bruise and it just shows how strong he is at such a young age. I remember that he graduated early but I don't remember how old he was. Well I guess I'll find out eventually.

My mother was less than pleased when she saw my face that evening. My father just laughed and said I looked like a panda with my black eyes. The boys said I looked like I got into a bar fight and that the other guy better look worse than me. I laughed with them but didn't mention that Itachi had gotten away unscathed.

The next day I caught him on his way home from school and asked for a spar. He gave me the same irritated look as he did yesterday but didn't pass up the chance to kick my butt. The result was pretty much the same as the day before. I had originally asked him to spar because I thought I should try to change something. I didn't have a plan and ended up fighting him.

By this point I no longer saw sparring with him as a futile way to change the future, but as a challenge. I love a good challenge. Every day I would find him. Before class or after, even on lunch break. He would always fight me either because he wanted to fight or because he just plain hated me by this point I didn't know. But I was having fun.

Every day I had to find him and I knew he was trying to hide from me, some days more than others. The days he tried to hide and I still found him he beat me extra hard. I didn't mind though. As much as it hurt, as outclassed as I was, it felt so freeing that I didn't want to stop.

We never talked. He would be walking (presumably away from where he thought I was,) and I would pop up in front of him. He would scowl and head to an open area and we would fight. He would then leave me gasping in the dirt and be on his merry way. Over the weeks I got a bit better at predicting his moves. My only mistake is that I would stop what I was trying to do. This usually left me open enough for him to knock me on my butt.

My extra training, or as I like to call it Bonding Time with Itachi, became one of the highlights of my day. I got so focused on my spars with Itachi that I didn't realize I was improving in the regular class spars. It wasn't by a lot but it was something. Being better in class was no longer my focus. Hitting Itachi was.

I was thrilled the day I went to find him only for him to be in a clear area waiting impatiently for me. It seemed he had accepted our daily spar as unavoidable. He didn't seem to like that. That whole week I was beaten hard but it was worth it because he no longer tried to get away. That was really the most I had expected which is why I was surprised one day when he spoke.

"Your footing is all wrong," I looked down to check and he decked me on the cheek.

"You get distracted too easily," so I tried to keep my eyes on him and he got me with a roundhouse kick.

"You need to pay attention to your surroundings," this time I just glared. Now he was messing with me. I was proven right by the smirk on his face. The rest of our fight went as usual but he again surprised me as I prepared my stuff to go home.

"See you tomorrow," I turned so quick I accidentally hit one of my newest bruises. I had to bite my lip to stop myself from cursing as I looked for him, but he was already gone.

"Bye," I bite out rather bitterly. But I couldn't stop my grin. Tomorrow then.

Longest chapter yet. I hope it gets more reviews than the last one… *hint hint* Anyhow please come again.

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


	9. Just Another Day

Disclaimer: This has officially been disclaimed.

Authors Note: I am terrible at fight scenes. I'm working on it but dont expect many in depth fights for a while. And here I present you… The next chapter!

Chapter 9- Just Another Day

"Stop," Itachi's command surprised me.

"Why?" I ask, confused.

"You're not paying any attention," he was right. Izumo and Kotetsu had left for Sunagakure yesterday. I hadn't realized how distracted their absence made me. I smiled sheepishly up at Itachi.

"Sorry," he just sighed at me and got back into a fighting stance. During my spars with Itachi I found that by trying to stick to a certain style I hindered my progress. When facing an opponent I try so hard to remember what I'm supposed to do that my movements become slow and hesitant. When I get into a fight and just _fight,_ I usually do better.

At first it made me feel like a street brawler, but I soon learned the advantages of not being limited to the moves I knew. Instead of just punching an enemy I can shove them as well. It may seem underhanded but really, I'm training to be a ninja the epitome of sneaky and surprising. It had surprised Itachi when I did that the first time and I almost knocked him off balance. I never caught him off guard like that again.

Ever since that moment of frustration I began incorporating things like that into my regular battles. I had gotten in trouble the first time I had used these tactics in an official class spar. They told me I couldn't fight like that and I had to use the taught materials. So when I was in class I did. When I was with Itachi was a whole other story.

He seemed amused by my almost desperate way of fighting. I say desperate because if it came down to it I would use my own teeth and nails to win. I was never above a good kick to the nuts. Training with Itachi wasn't the only thing I did to amuse myself while my brothers were gone.

I spent long hours in the forest working on my speed when it came to growing my plants to my will. I was getting faster but I had soon noticed a flaw in my plan. How was I supposed to use vines or roots to trip and distract an enemy if there weren't any in the area? And so I found myself knocking on the Yamanaka's front door.

"Hello Ino. Is your father home?" she nodded and smiled brightly. She ushered me inside and began chatting as much as a three year old could. She was a very pretty child, with blonde hair, blue eyes, and a smile so wide it could melt the coldest of hearts.

I would play with her every now and then and she seemed to like me. But then again she seemed to like anyone who gave her the time of day. She led me to the flower shop where her father was setting up a new flower display.

"Suikazura, what brings you here?" I was hesitant in answering. I have always hated asking for favors. I hate feeling like I owe someone anything. It was even more awkward when we hadn't been the happiest with each other when we last spoke. It had been over a month ago and he hadn't spoken to me at all about what he told the Hokage. We had seen each other since but he hadn't brought up that day in the field.

I'm fairly certain that Yamato was in the ANBU by now and wouldn't be able to teach me anything like Yamanaka-san had suggested. Perhaps he had been told to just continue watching me. Either way I plucked up all of my courage, which admittedly isn't a lot, and voiced my reason for being here.

"Would you be able to help me?"

"What do you need help with?" I glanced sideways at Ino who was watching our conversation with rapt attention. Even at such a young age she was already so nosy. Yamanaka-san seemed to catch on and turned to face his daughter.

"Ino why don't you go help your mother out by the counter," he may have phrased it as a suggestion but it was clearly an order. Ino, understanding this, pouted prettily at him before turning and leaving. Yamanaka-san rolled his eyes at his daughter before turning to face me.

"Come. Let us go to the greenhouses out back," we left the shop and as soon as we entered the greenhouses he shut the door behind us.

"Now tell me what it is you need," so I told him about my predicament. About how I was trying to turn my Green Disposition into a fighting style I could use. I told him how I couldn't do anything if I don't have plants at the ready. He leaned against the wall a moment, watching me.

"Why have you come to me with this?" I just continued to look at him, my expression confused.

"Why haven't you gone to any of the teachers about this? Why me?" he didn't sound upset, just curious. I sighed before explaining my reasoning to him, choosing my words carefully.

"At the academy I am not considered one of the more talented students," he quirked an eyebrow at me and I glared.

"Okay, so I'm the dead last. None of the teachers would consider helping me worth their time. They have already started considering me a lost cause," I was frustrated. It wasn't fair of them to single out who they thought would succeed and spend their time molding those children. But they wanted to weed out the weak now so they don't waste time on the ones who won't make it too far.

"Have you told them about your, ah… Green Disposition?"

"No. I don't want their help if they would only give it to me because they thought I was special," I was a little bitter about that at this point, and my stubborn streak wouldn't let me accept their help.

"I'm asking you because I know that you would help me out of actual concern for my well being," he gave me a long assessing look before he nodded.

"Alright, what did you have in mind?" I grinned as I explained my theory to him. I had considered how I would fight without the proper resources and had come to the conclusion that I would always need them on me. If I were to carry around packets of seeds then I could have endless resources on hand.

Since the packets would be small I would be able to have a variety of plants to choose from. He seemed to like my idea and soon had me set to work. We discovered that it was easier for me to grow a plant a certain way if I moved my hands or body in a similar fashion of how I wanted said plant to grow. We set up different stances I would move between and I would have to make the plants keep up.

I had to start off really slow until they were able to keep pace with me. He also told me to try this in my normal exercises. He wanted the plants growth to become instinctual to me. When I had approached him for help I hadn't expected him to become so dedicated. Truth be told, we were both having fun experimenting with and pushing my limits.

It was both thrilling and humbling to have someone as smart as Yamanaka-san helping me out. Never before had I made such progress in one week. Even Itachi noticed. When moving from one position to the next, I had to make my movements long and flowing. If they were jerky I would lose my connection with the plants. I would have to stretch and bend in all directions, keeping my body nimble.

Though I still fought like a brawler my movements were becoming more fluid and precise. I had become so giddy with my success that I didn't notice how out of it Itachi was one day until I landed a lucky punch. I paused, surprised and giving him a chance to knock me on my butt in retaliation. When I got up though, I didn't get back into a fighting stance.

"Is something wrong Itachi?" he seemed to be torn over something before he replied.

"Today will be the last day we spar together," surprised I just say the first thing that comes to mind.

"Why?" he glares a little at my blunt attitude but replies all the same.

"The academy has decided to move me up to a class more suitable for someone of my skill level," I just blinked at him. It wasn't arrogance that he spoke with. In fact he almost sounded bitter.

"So? What does that have to do with our spars?"

"The class I will be attending does not get out for another two hours after our current classes," I still give him the same blank look.

"So? What does that have to do with our spars?" I repeat. He was openly glaring at me now.

"I don't mind waiting. Besides I don't want to give up any chances of bothering you. You always get this funny tick in your eyebrow-ah just like that! That's the one-"and the fight was back on.

We didn't say anything more and just continued our fight. He was still pretty out of it but that didn't hinder him at all. When we were both preparing to leave that day I found him looking at me. It was as if he wanted to say something but didn't know what. I raised an eyebrow at him in question and waited for him to figure it out.

"Thank you," he looked me in the eye and I couldn't stop the grin that graced my lips.

"No problem. See you tomorrow Itachi," and with that we both turned our separate ways and left the school grounds.

My daily routine shifted a little but was for the most part the same, just a bit busier. When I woke up in the morning I would do my strength and stretching exercises before going to school, often adding in my plant movements as Yamanaka-san had suggested. After school I would go home for a snack before going back to spar with Itachi.

By the time I would get home I would eat dinner and then meet Yamanaka-san in the backyard. He wasn't always available; sometime he would be on a mission, or up at T&I headquarters. For the most part though, he would watch my progress and instruct me on how to better my stances. It was a tiring routine and for the first few days I would be out like a light the moment my head hit the pillow.

Eventually, like always, my body began to adjust. It felt good. I had never been this healthy before. In my old life I had always been an active child. I would hike and swim as much as I could, be outside as much as I could. Being in school eight hours a day had limited my chances to be active and eventually my will to move had just died.

By the point in my life that I had finally had the time, I just didn't want to do anything. I couldn't help but wonder how I could have given this up so easily. Every day I felt good. I felt optimistic, that even if my body grew the way I knew it would, that I'd be alright.

It had been two months since the boys left for Suna when we received word of their homecoming. My mother was so excited and planned on making their favorite foods to welcome them back. I liked that idea until she sent me out shopping. I soon found myself wandering around the market place, idly looking at the produce and finding the ones in the best shape.

I was actually rather surprised when I ran into Itachi. He didn't really strike me as the shopping type. Usually I would just move away before he saw me. We weren't really close and, if two people who know each other meet outside of their usual meeting areas, you're usually supposed to talk to them. That can get really awkward sometimes. Too late. I smile and wave to him and am slightly surprised that he wasn't alone. So that's Sasuke. I really wanted to pinch his cheeks, but I refrained.

"Hello Itachi. Who is this?" I think that was the first time I saw Itachi smile. He looked happy and proud as he introduced Sasuke to me.

"This is Sasuke, my little brother," it was heartbreaking. To see him so attached to his brother, when I knew it wouldn't last. I bend over and smile at Sasuke.

"Hello Sasuke. Are you having fun with your big brother?" he was grasping tightly onto Itachi's sleeve. After a moment he squints his eyes at me as if sizing me up. But then his face relaxes and he smiles and nods in reply to my question.

"Well I have to finish getting my groceries. My brothers will be back later this week and my mom and I are making a feast. I'll see you tomorrow Itachi. It was nice to meet you Sasuke," so it wasn't the longest of conversations, but I was starting to feel overwhelmed again. Itachi just nods and little Sasuke waves goodbye at me.

The Uchiha massacre. There was so much involved in it. I feel sickened at myself because I know that I won't do anything to stop it. It would raise too many questions about how I knew anything. There is also the rebellion to think about. Konoha really can't risk a civil war so soon after the Kyuubi attack.

I hate the thought of innocent women and children dying. I hate that I can't stop it. I hate that on some level I agree with the elders. The rebellion had to be put down. Leaving women and children would have sown hatred so deep we would reap the results in the much too soon future. But I still felt like there could have been another way.

It may just be my conscience. I'm not directly involved so I appease my guilt by telling myself if I could stop it I would. But I honestly don't know what I would do, had the decision been mine. Perhaps have all survivors swear allegiance to Konoha, but there would still be such unrest. Leaving people alive would have the villagers and other villages that we do missions for questioning us. It could lead to complete poverty.

As a hidden village much of what is earned by the ninja goes towards the village. If the people who hire us don't trust us we would eventually loose clients left and right. Our village would slowly die. There is always another answer but I don't think the elders, with Danzo's persuasion, cared to find one.

A different path would have been difficult to find and execute. It would take years to repair the trust lost. I think they chose the death of the Uchiha clan because it was _easy._ I felt disgusting for even understanding their point of view. By the time I got home I was really depressed.

I spent extra time in the shower that night, meticulously washing every tangle out of my wavy hair. That night my dreams were riddled with death and half remembered flashes of the massacre, playing over and over in my head. It was all just so _unnecessary._ It made me want to scream out in frustration. I wouldn't say Itachi and I were friends, but I liked him.

He was fun to mess with, and a good sparring partner. He was trustworthy and loyal. I didn't want to see him torn apart by the village and his clan. I didn't want to watch Sasuke grow up twisted by hate. But it was going to happen; there really wasn't anything I could do to stop it. So instead of getting hung up on it I was going to mope for a bit and then be as good a friend as possible for Itachi.

Kotetsu and Izumo returned later that week. They both looked really tired but happy all the same. It was nice to have them back; the house seemed too quiet without them. I hadn't realized how much I had missed them until they both wrapped me up in a suffocating hug and started bragging. I had really missed this.

We had a quiet family dinner as they began explaining everything they went through in the exam. I could tell they were skimming over the more dangerous parts so as not to worry my mother. In the end they had both passed with flying colors and would begin work as Chunin of Konoha at the start of next week.

"So what did you do while we were gone Suikazura?" I grinned.

"Come with me to one of the training fields and I'll show you," Kotetsu looked interested now.

"Is that a challenge?"

"Only if you think you can handle it," I reply completely at ease. Our parents roll their eyes at our antics and remind us to clean up dinner before going. I knew I wouldn't be able to beat either of them, let alone pose any type of challenge. However, I could definitely catch them off guard. I was also looking forward to the chance to use the Green Disposition in an actual fight.

I had been working on it for two months now, and though it was far from perfect, I couldn't expect it to be so without actual experience with it. It was a bit too cold to be going around barefoot, but I didn't want to give up the advantage it gave me. I fought with Kotetsu first, starting slow to warm up. As we began to pick up our pace I switched from standard academy taijutsu to my own style.

It threw him off for a moment but he wasn't a Chunin for nothing and quickly adjusted to my current fighting style so as to have an easier time counteracting it. I began to fall into the familiar stances for my Green Disposition, forcing him to back up. It took him a moment to realize why his footing was becoming more and more treacherous. When he did notice he smiled proudly at me as he decked me in the stomach, successfully ending our spar.

"That was smart. Where did you learn to do that?" Izumo sounded eager to hear about it.

"As soon as I stop dry heaving I'll tell you," I reply, panting slightly. I have a small habit of over reacting every now and then. My brothers would disagree and say I overact all the time. My fake tears usually only ever proved them right.

"I didn't hit you that hard. Don't be such a wuss," I rolled my eyes at him.

"Yamanaka-san and I came up with it shortly after you two left. I figured that it was a pretty good tactic, and I guess I was right,"

"It was so subtle at first that I didn't notice it for a while and I wasn't even fighting. And where did you learn to fight like that?" I smiled widely at the thought of pestering Itachi into to fighting me every day.

"I had a friends help with that one. But they never let me fight like that at the academy. It's really annoying. How am I supposed to perfect my strengths if no one lets me use them?" Kotetsu snorts at the last part.

"Strengths? More like oddities. Most shinobi prefer a certain style rather than a full out brawl. But if it works for you, than I guess that's good. And if you think your finally up to it, Izumo and I can spar with you anytime," that was a huge compliment. They always instructed me and would show me how to do things, but they never sparred. They were too afraid they wouldn't be able to hold back and would hurt me.

If Kotetsu thought I could handle myself in a spar with them then that meant I had gotten a lot better. It would be a long time before I would ever pose a threat to them, but at least now I wasn't too weak to try. I smiled brightly at them, and nodded in reply. Izumo and I had a quick spar after that.

He had the advantage after having seen my fight with Kotetsu. It was a lot harder to catch him with my vines because now he was on the lookout for them. He easily beat me but not before I went all out. He couldn't stop laughing at my crazy fighting, saying I was much more like Kotetsu than he had first thought. I took it as a compliment. Kotetsu is a good fighter, if a bit on the wild side, and was beginning to get efficiency with most weapons that were surprising almost everyone he knew.

It was with a happy smile that I went to bed that night. By the time winter truly came around I thought I would have to put off my Green Disposition training. Yamanaka-san thought differently. He said it was the best time to train, because I had to get used to using it with shoes on. I wasn't happy about this but trained with him anyways.

It was so much harder to use the Disposition when there was a thick layer of plastic between me and the ground. I felt like I was starting all over again. The connection I had with the plants was so much weaker, so I had to move slower and concentrate more for them to keep up. The first time I complained about having to wear shoes my father looked at me weirdly before shaking his head and pretending he didn't hear me.

Izumo said I would be one of those shinobi who have weird habits if I kept refusing to wear shoes. I was okay with that. People thought ninja were crazy anyway, why not rub it in and have a little fun? By the time my parents deemed it warm enough to go out barefoot again I was thrilled.

It had been a long winter and I couldn't wait to get my toes in the ground again. Kotetsu laughed when he found me trying to dig my feet into the ground up to my ankles. He stopped when a few well grown vines pulled him flat at my feet, then it was Izumo's turn to laugh. When my birthday came with May I realized that the school year would be over soon.

Itachi was going to be graduating this year, and be put on a team starting this summer. I frowned slightly at the thought of this. I would really miss our spars, and without him I was scared my taijutsu would come to a standstill again. I had Izumo and Kotetsu to fight with but they never went all out on me.

Hana would go all out but she didn't out-class me enough to really push me to do my best. It was a little depressing, I was happy for him of course, but the academy wouldn't be the same anymore. Hakuna Matata, I told myself, no worries. I set the matter aside and decided that I would eventually find someone new to spar with.

The academy graduation wasn't a very big celebration. There was always the chance of failing the Jounin exam so they didn't want to get people too excited. Once he was free I gave Itachi his graduation present. It was a very poorly drawn depiction of how our spars usually go. He glared at me but I expected that.

"Thank you for helping me this past year. I know you will be busy with your team from now on but if you're ever free and want to find me, I'd love to get my butt beat," he gave up on glaring and just rolled his eyes at me. For a moment I thought he would throw the picture away, it was really bad. But he carefully folded it and slipped it in his bag.

I smiled at him and watched him go to where his family was waiting. I moved so that I could catch a glimpse of his parents. His mother looked like a nice woman but his father looked like a jerk. He stood stiff, and didn't smile at his son even once. Sasuke was there too and when he caught me watching he waved a little hesitantly in my direction. I smiled and waved back but as soon as Fugaku noticed me I quickly made my way in the opposite direction.

I did not want to get in a conversation with him. With my business at the graduation over I made my way home, walking slowly and enjoying the cool spring breeze. My thoughts turned grim as I thought about the path Itachi would soon be following. I could practically feel the cogs of fate begin to turn faster as all the pieces fell neatly into place.

Thank you and come again.

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


	10. A Youthful Time

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Authors Note: Thank you for all the reviews last chapter. I didn't think I would finish this early, but here it is. Chapter ten!

Chapter 10- A Youthful Time

This year at the academy they began to focus more on shinobi arts. They started teaching us how to make simple henge and clones. It didn't take too long for me to learn them. Over the summer my chakra control became good enough that leaves wouldn't spontaneously start growing when I put them on my forehead. It took much more concentration but my control became much better.

The academy teachers weren't impressed. It was something we were supposed to have learned and mastered last year so in their eyes I was a year behind the rest of the students. Shuriken practice only solidified my reputation as the dead last. Bad hand to eye coordination seems to be one of those things that carry over even after death. I usually did better with a gun or bow and arrow.

Missing every target in practice reminded me how much farther I had to go before I could even be considered a Genin. I practiced my throwing whenever I got the chance but I was much more interested in the kunai. I had so much fun with them. They are some of the most convenient weapons available for a shinobi.

They were sharp, small and easy to wield. We only practiced with wood weapons but I could already tell that a well aimed kunai, no matter how strong the opponent you fight, could save your life on more than one occasion. Izumo was a great weapons teacher. At the moment Kotetsu was better with weapons than Izumo, but he came in at a close second. He was also much better at teaching then Kotetsu.

I was excited when the teachers announced that we could use other battle styles in the class spars. We all made our way outside to the sparring field and were partnered up. Spars are held one at a time so all the students can watch and learn. I was pared up against a Hyuuga as the third battle. We enter the arena and both fall into our stances.

Of course the first battle that I can actually fight and it's against a Hyuuga. He was standing in the Jyuuken pose and we both took a moment to size each other up. Deciding to make the first move I rush in and just barely dodge his chakra filled fist. I had originally planned on punching him but I was no longer in a position where that was possible. Instead I used my momentum and knocked him hard in the chest with my shoulder on my way up from the dodge.

I think I made him angry. He went straight for me, each fist coming at me one after the other. While fighting Itachi I had gotten good at dodging or only getting minimal damage, but when fighting a Hyuuga even the smallest of touches could be detrimental to the fight. It was a glancing blow but he got me in the upper arm.

It _hurt._ I jumped back and grit my teeth. I was holding my injured shoulder with my other hand. That wasn't a good idea. The fight ended up being a game of tag. I would jump around holding my injured arm, twisting and turning so as not to get hit with those fists again. He meanwhile lost his temper completely. It was rather amusing really. He kept running around like a wild boar, arms outstretched, hoping to hit me. I saw him begin to tire and was hoping to finish it with a kick to the gut.

It was a good plan in my head, but the moment I was in reach he got my leg as well. Now I was hopping around the field like a lame bunny rabbit. The kids on the sidelines were having fun and by now I was so used to being laughed at I wasn't too embarrassed to laugh along as well. That just seemed to make him angrier.

In the end I had more stamina but he got me in the stomach, and was announced the winner. It took half the afternoon before I had feeling in my arm again and I had to limp home. Izumo gave me a sympathetic look.

"A Hyuuga, huh?" I just sigh dejectedly in reply. Kotetsu got a good laugh at my expense. He also got a punch from my good arm. My parents were confused though, they didn't know what made a spar with a Hyuuga any different from a normal spar. We tried explaining the gentle fist to them but gave up after the first ten minutes.

My Disposition stances were a lot harder to move between when my body was still so stiff. The exercise was good though, it got more blood, and chakra, flowing into my deprived limbs. The next day at school had pretty much the same result. I wasn't pitted against the Hyuuga, instead it was Hana. We had sparred before and both knew each other's styles. It was a much closer match this time around

It began slowly with each of us throwing the occasional punch. Then she started crouching in the Inuzuka signature fighting stance. We both started moving faster and as I went to punch she blocked and threw one of her own. I knocked her arm aside before ducking down and going for a knockout with an uppercut to the jaw.

I was only semi-successful. I landed the punch but she twisted so that it didn't knock her out. Backing up we found ourselves in the same position we started. We jumped back together and I made to punch her again just like I had the first time. She blocked but crouched this time so that I couldn't uppercut her again. That's okay though because I wasn't planning on trying.

Instead I swung my knee up to her face, and with a sickening crunch, my knee made contact with her nose. She wasn't done though, and used my lack of two legs on the floor to, quite literally, sweep me off my feet. My arms flailed pathetically as I landed flat on my back. I saw spots on the way up and the teacher told us both to go to the infirmary.

Hana was holding her bleeding nose and I was swaying as we slowly made our way to the infirmary, laughing the whole way there. My chances of winning the class spars became smaller and smaller the further we got into the year. By now most of them have seen me fighting. Most of my year was made up of clan kids and each one had a family style different than the last.

There were other civilian kids like me and we had some close spars together, but we were usually set against the clan children. I think they were trying to discourage us from being ninja. Because we weren't from a clan we were weak and didn't deserve to be shinobi. So instead of showing us how to survive they try to beat us down by showing us that we will never match up to clan children. And it was working.

We had less civilian children this year than last. By the time next year comes around we will have even less. It made me really angry. I hate getting angry. It makes me feel like I don't have control over myself, and so I always try to keep my highly volatile temper down. When I feel myself getting angry I get quiet so that I don't start yelling. I separate myself from people so I don't get snappy.

My family noticed. My mood was broody that night as I quietly marched right for my room after school. It was so stupid of them. There were a lot of civilian children who held great potential that was being wasted because of an imaginary wall built between the clans and the civilians.

There was a part of me that thought the method made sense. As ninja there will be times that we go through many mentally disturbing and traumatizing events. If we can't put up with a little prejudice how will we handle ourselves in a foreign nation? By treating civilian children like this they are actually making very mentally stable shinobi. The ones that pass anyway.

What pissed me off was that they didn't do the same for the clan kids. It's like they got a 'get out of mental torture free' card. They made the clan children feel so superior and it would be their downfall. They were setting these children up to die by teaching them to overestimate their abilities and to underestimate that of their foe. Sometimes ninja really made me want to bash my head into a wall.

"Are you alright Suikazura?" the boys must be back from their mission.

"Yeah I'm fine. How was your mission today Kotetsu?" the door creaked as he and Izumo entered.

"It was fine. Why are you so upset?" I glared at Izumo. One thing I hate more than being angry is being caught being angry. I guess it's my fault for not really hiding it. I sigh in frustration and face the two of them fully.

"Do they always treat the civilian children like that?" their bitter smiles were answer enough.

"So you noticed?"

"I'd have to be as thick in the head as Kotetsu not to notice," Kotetsu just sighed.

"If you don't want to be a ninja you can always pull out," and now I was angry at Kotetsu. I never said I wanted to stop. I was learning so much, conquering my fear of hitting people, and becoming healthier then I had ever been.

"Now you sound just like them. Of course I don't want to quit. I just hate that they don't treat the clan children the same. Because their teachers show them that they are the best, they will always think they are. And one day when they aren't, they are going to die. It is stupid and unnecessary," my voice was very low by the end of my rant.

All they do is keep giving me that bitter smile. I hate seeing two of the most cheerful people I know looking so sad. The silence continues for a little while longer before Izumo stands up. He reaches his hand down and helps Kotetsu up before turning to me.

"Come on. Dinner should be ready soon. Let's go see if there is anything we should do to help," I nod and take his hand.

I recently got myself into the habit of sitting in populated areas and feeling the people through the ground. I would close my eyes and extend myself into the ground. It is always the easiest to identify the plants, after them I start feeling the ninja. They are easy to pick out because of their chakra. The chakra in plants is strong and stretchy, that's why I can grow them how I want. A ninja's chakra is much more organized, so I can always pick them out in a crowd.

I can't identify specific chakra unless I knew that chakra. I can point out Kotetsu, Izumo, Yamanaka-san, and Itachi. All the other ninja just felt like chakra. Civilians were a lot harder. They don't have nearly as much chakra as a shinobi and it is always a jumbled mess. In the academy we meditate and organize our chakra. We do chakra control exercises so that we always use it efficiently.

A civilian has none of our training, and they are harder to pinpoint because of it. Its ironic that ninja are easier to find then civilians. But a good ninja, like the ANBU, are taught how to make their chakra like that of a civilian. I turned it into a game. I always make everyday tasks a game or a challenge to help me keep interest.

I'm not the only one in the village who trains though. Quite a few times I've been kicked out of a training field by ninja who want to spar. I never leave. I like watching how easily they throw weapons and Jutsu around. At first people got annoyed by me, but they eventually learned to pretend I wasn't there. Sometimes I would pick a tree and just sit there watching everyone who came by.

Some would talk to me, others would ignore me, and my favorites would let me have at them. That's how I met Kurenai. She was alone and practicing the basics. Paying me no mind she just walked right in and started throwing kunai at her targets. I know she knew I was there. I don't know how to mask my presence and I'm pretty sure she was at least a Chunin by this point.

"Is there a reason you are hiding like a rat," I grin sheepishly and jump out of the tree I'd been using as cover. She seemed surprised that I was just a kid.

"Sorry. I like watching people train and I figured that since you ignored me, you didn't care," she blinked for a moment then smiled. She seemed amused despite herself.

"There were some Chunin who seemed to think this field was haunted. I will enjoy telling them that they were afraid of a little girl," I laughed out right at that. To think they thought I was a ghost. People could be really funny sometimes.

"I'm not a ghost. Just a girl who wants to learn. I'm not the best student at the academy. I figure if I watch enough I can pick up a few tricks,"

"Most tricks you find here will be much too hard for an academy student," I already knew that. It would be years before I was able to do some of the things I watched in the field, but just knowing of their existence makes me feel better. I just shrug at her.

"What year are you at the academy?"

"Year three, why?" she gave me a long look before nodding to herself.

"Alright, you should be old enough to spar," I wasn't quite expecting that. She looks at me and beckons me over rather impatiently.

"You said you were here to learn right? Well let's get started already," okay. I'm completely fine with that. I smile at her and get into my stance. In a sense fighting with her was harder than fighting Itachi. She never hit me anywhere important so I was never forced to stop due to injury. Instead she just kept me going.

My lungs began to burn and my muscles ached as she slowly worked me into exhaustion. My brawlers' style isn't very good with long fights. It uses short bursts of energy and moments of opportunity. This lengthened battle was slowly crushing any confidence I had built in my skills. By the end of the fight I didn't have any bruises or injuries, but I was so tired that I couldn't have continued even if I wanted to. The worst part is she barely broke a sweat.

"You aren't bad, you're just not very exceptional," I glared up at her. I already knew that.

"I know. That's why I'm training. I want to be better," and I did. Up until now I trained because I had too, because I wanted to do my part. But now I wanted to fight. I was beginning to enjoy it. I wanted to push myself and see just how far I could go. I wanted to improve even by the tiniest bit. She was watching me closely and then she smiled.

"I want to help you. From now on we will spar here every other day," I blinked up at her. Wait what? She was going to spar with me? I had to go through this hellish training every other day?

"Why? Why would you decide to help me like this?" she looked a little uncomfortable for a moment. As if she was embarrassed by something.

"I want to be a Jounin so that I can train my own team of Genin. I figured it would be good to have experience working with someone in that age group. Plus I like you. You look like you can be pretty tough if you get the right training, and you look like you want it. As a fellow Kunoichi I want to help you," that was unexpected. But who am I to look a gift horse in the mouth.

"Thank you. I can't wait to spar with you again. But… um… What's your name?" her face turned beat red as she realized we didn't even know each others names. I have a feeling she is fun to mess with and can't stop my mischievous grin.

"The names Kurenai, and yours?"

"It's nice to meet you Kurenai. My name is Suikazura,"

"Alright. I'll see you in a few days. Don't be late," and just to mess with her a little,

"Yes Kurenai-sensei," her face turned red again but I saw a small smile on her face. She must really want to be a teacher. I knew she would be good at it too. Out of the teachers of the rookie nine I admired her the most. Not because she was a girl, but because she built a team.

I love Kakashi, he was always one of my favorite characters, but as a sensei he let his students down. His team cracked and by only focusing on Sasuke it shattered. Asuma was given the Ino-Shika-Cho. They were born to work together; there was nothing to build up to because they were already there.

Kurenai took three children who didn't know anything about each other and taught them. She brought them together like a family and gave them all the support they needed. She single handedly built one of the best teams Konoha has seen in a long time. And I admired her for it.

Speaking of teachers I wonder who I will get… it had better not be Kakashi. I wouldn't put it past the academy to make him my sensei so that I would have a guaranteed fail. That would really suck. Who else would they group me with? Probably other civilian children. There was no point thinking on this now.

Why don't I just focus on getting home before it starts to rain? Yeah that sounds like a good plan. I didn't make it. By the time I got back I was soaked. The boys took one look at me before bursting into laughter.

"You look like a drowned cat," Kotetsu choked out. My hair had fallen out of its bun in the fight. When it was down it reached my tail bone. I march right up to the still laughing boys before shaking my sopping wet hair all over them.

"Who's the wet cat now," I mutter before my angry mask shatters and I laugh along with them. It felt good to laugh. I love laughing; it always makes you feel so free. It's why I try to make other people laugh, because the only thing better than a good laugh is being the reason why someone else is having a good laugh.

I never do it to be liked I do it because there is a part of me that needs to be around happy people. When other people are happy they make it so much easier to be happy yourself. So if I'm in a bad mood I make people laugh. It's a bit selfish to only make people laugh so that you don't feel bad anymore. But people are selfish creatures. At least I don't demand human sacrifices or something like that to make me happy.

It's a good thing I only meet with Kurenai in the evenings otherwise I'd be too tired to finish the day. She continued to fight me in the way she had the first day and it never got any easier. Each time we fought my endurance grew so each time we fought it lasted longer than the time before. After a few months of going at this pace she made it even harder. Not possible right? Wrong.

Now every time I exhausted myself, instead of sending me home, she had me run a few laps around the field before continuing the spar. I don't know what she is on that gives her that much stamina, but I want some. She is supposed to be a Genjutsu user so why is she so strong. It was a little mind blowing to realize that she is probably just as strong as the average Chunin.

I had so far to go. Instead of letting the pressure depress me I threw myself into my training with gusto. Every time I felt like quitting the words, I'm not there yet, would go through my mind over and over. It was during one of our spars that I felt someone coming in our direction. We had been interrupted before by other shinobi who had wanted the field. Kurenai was always quick to scare them away. But this time we stopped as Guy entered the field.

"Kurenai! It is good to see you! Your youthful presence is wanted in the Hokage tower," cue good guy pose. That's just creepy. Kurenai looked like she was having trouble deciding how to feel about him. Right now it was a cross between irritated and amused. In the end she just nods.

"Suikazura I have to go now. Why don't you finish up with a few more laps before heading home?"

"Okay. Thank you. See you in a few days," she smiles and disappears leaving me with Guy and feeling very awkward. I really wanted him to leave. He was just staring at me and I was not about to start running with him watching me. I don't have boobs yet, but old habits die hard.

"You're youth looks familiar," I jump at his loud voice. Then his words register. He was able to recognize me? Of course he can recognize me. Ninja are taught to memorize faces. I just shrug at him. I think he is starting to feel awkward. He proves me right by doing the good guy pose.

"Well I must be off. It was nice to meet you little girl. Stay youthful," and with that he was off. He is weird. I didn't get to think on his weirdness too long when I felt someone else coming through the trees. I grin.

"Hello Itachi. Long time no see," he jumps down and I get a good look at him. He seems older, more tired. He hides it well but I could tell he was stressed. I've always been good at sensing these things. Instead of talking to me he gets right into a fighting stance. I smile.

"You always were one to do the deed and go home-"it was just like old times. As we fought I could tell he had gotten better. By a lot. He proved it to me by beating me into the ground. But I had gotten better too. It may not seem like much but I was dodging just a few more punches, lasting just a little bit longer, getting more than just a few lucky punches. Now they were aimed punches, no luck involved. It wasn't a lot but it was enough.

"You've gotten better," he remarks offhandedly when we finish.

"Why thank you. I must say you have certainly gotten better yourself," he rolled his eyes at my pompous tone. From Itachi that was as close to a laugh that you were going to get.

"How's Genin life been treating you?"

"Im a Chunin now," was his reply.

"Wow. You must have gotten a lot better then. How's Sasuke?"

"He is good. He is excited to begin learning our clan techniques," he was what, four now? It's around when I started training. That gives him two years before he enters the academy.

"He seems like a smart kid. He shouldn't have too much trouble,"

"Hn," I almost giggled at the stereotypical Uchiha reply.

"I'm glad you two are doing well. You should come to see me more often. Without you to beat me up, I feel I might get a big head," he just rolls his eyes again. And with that our random meeting is over. He gets up and leaves so I get up and go home. I was on my way back when I heard a very loud voice. Wondering where it came from I made my way to the center of the market place.

There he was blonde hair, blue eyes, and the most determined look I have ever seen on a four year old. _Naruto._ He looked so angry and was glaring at us, the people watching him. That look made me feel like I had done something wrong.

I wanted to apologize to him, to get on my hands and knees and ask his forgiveness. Because I had known and I had done nothing. It's irrational to think there was anything I could have done, but the feeling was there all the same. I only got there in time to hear the end of his speech.

"-be Hokage! Just you wait!" and he looked every single person in the eye as he said it. It wasn't a nervous gesture; he was looking everyone in the eye so that they knew he meant what he said. They all glared back at him, not caring about his dream in the least. And then his eyes met mine as I stared back. And I smiled at him.

His eyes widen before he turns and runs off. And that was it; everyone went back to what they were doing before Naruto's episode. It was strange to realize how much contempt these people held for him. I wanted to throttle them for being so stupid but that would get me nowhere. Instead I turn and head back in the direction of my house. It had been a long day.

This chapter really just came out of nowhere. I hope you enjoyed!

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


	11. Inside These Walls

Disclaimer: Not mine.

Authors Note: Everyone say 'thank' you to my brand new beta Sayle! Yaaay! And without further ado, I give you the edited version of chapter eleven.

Chapter 11- Inside These Walls

That winter was a cold one, but that only meant the teachers had us spend extra time outside. They wanted us to build endurance for situations like bad weather. It's why we always go out when it rains or snows. It was towards the end of winter that they scheduled the first camping trip. We were told to go home and use what we had learned in class to pack our 'mission gear'.

We had to show our packs to the teachers and if they didn't approve we were sent back home to try again. It was late evening by the time we actually set out for the camp site. There had been an incident with two of the boys. They were told that they hadn't packed enough and were being yelled at by one of the teachers.

"I already told you we don't have any extra clothes!" one of the boys was screaming. I think his name was ko-something or other. If I remember correctly he and the boy he was with had been orphaned in the Kyuubi attack. They were eventually able to convince the teacher of their lack of clothes and were left with the parting words: "Fine. Freeze for all I care." That's just wrong. Sometimes the teachers can be real jerks. I made my way over to the boys so that I could give them my extra blanket. The whole reason I brought one was because I figured someone would forget. Ko-something or other turned his glare on me.

"What do you want?" he wasn't going to make this easy.

"Here. You guys can borrow my extra," he looked surprised a moment before he glared at me harder.

"I don't want your stupid extra!" patience is a virtue, I told myself.

"Would you just take it? My arm is starting to hurt from holding it out," my tone was sharper than I had intended. He opened his mouth, presumably to start shouting again, before he was elbowed by his companion.

"Thank you. We will be sure to return it to you in good condition. My name is Hiroshi, and yours?" his voice was slow, as if he thought about his words before speaking them. Ko-something or other looked annoyed at being ignored but seemed to have enough respect for Hiroshi to not interrupt him.

"My name is Suikazura. I feel like we should already know each other's names since we are in the same class but I just don't usually pay attention. Sorry," he smiled in understanding.

"This is Kiyoshi. He isn't always this abrasive," I laughed out right at his blunt remark. Kiyoshi went bright red.

"Sh-shut up Hiroshi. And stop laughing at me!"

"Sorry, sorry. I like you guys, you're funny," he went red again. I love messing with people. Kiyoshi finally seemed to calm down.

"Anyway, thanks for the blanket," he mumbled rather begrudgingly.

"No problem. I brought it in case there was someone without, so it's just fulfilling its purpose. As long as you guys return it I'll be fine," he nods his head seriously.

"I'll make sure Kiyoshi doesn't accidentally burn it or anything," Hiroshi pipes in. The outraged look Kiyoshi gives him has me in another fit of giggles. As we made our way outside the village walls we talked. I had spared with Hiroshi and beaten him easily but I had never had a chance to go at it with Kiyoshi.

They were both orphans from civilian families and were always paired against the clan kids. We were in the same boat. I wanted to know what they thought of that; if they had even noticed, that is. I got the conversation in the direction of the spars.

"Do you two think they will have us spar during the trip?" of course they would. I just needed to bring it up. Both of their faces darkened briefly; so they had noticed.

"Probably. I swear if I get paired against Hyuuga _again_, I'm gonna punch something," he sounded exasperated.

"Yeah, I hate when they do that," I reply. They both give me a look before Hiroshi speaks up.

"Do you plan on quitting?"

"No way. I plan on training and passing the exams and becoming an excellent ninja," they both nod their heads in approval.

"Good. I was starting to like you. It would suck if you decided to quit," Kiyoshi always left so many openings.

"Aww. You like me? I'm flattered but I'm just not looking for a relationship at the moment," his face went red. I barely managed to dodge his hand as he swatted at my head. We spent the rest of the hike in companionable conversation.

That night the teachers provided food but tomorrow we would have to hunt for, and prepare, our own. We were given live kunai and were told to be back before dark. I cheated. Feeling around for the closest wildlife I found a rabbit and quickly caught it with my vines. I had the pleasure of being the first one back; I was also the first to learn how to skin my kill. It was disgusting.

Part of me was fascinated with the process while another, more girly part, wanted to puke. After dinner that night we spent a few hours learning how to put up and take down a tent. We worked with the sunlight left before continuing in the dark. It was really annoying, especially when kids were whacking each other with tent pegs.

At the end of this the teachers told us to take them down and sleep under the stars. I could feel my eyebrow twitching in annoyance. The next day we played the roughest game of capture the flag I have ever been a part of. We were allowed to fight however we wanted; no live weapons but we had permission to use the wooden ones. It was complete chaos. I had only ever had a one on one spar before. This was a Battle Royale.

Not only would I find myself surrounded by other kids, but I would have to keep dodging flying projectiles. It was awesome. My team almost won but the enemy got past the 'border' first. The rest of the week was a mixture of all of this along with the usual spars. I couldn't wait for the next one.

By the end of the trip Hiroshi, Kiyoshi and I had built a sturdy friendship. We had a lot in common: we were all from civilian families, and we all wanted to prove ourselves capable. We began spending more time with each other in class and would also spar whenever we could find an empty training field.

The three of us decided to stay in contact through the summer so that we could continue our training. I was glad for it, at the camp I had learned how chaotic battle could be with more than one opponent. When we trained we took turns teaming up against each other. We made it a competition of who could last the longest. I was on my way home from one such fight when I saw Sasuke by a local pond.

And then he breathed fire. It wasn't a lot but that still caught me by surprise, I forgot he was a genius. Deciding to talk to him I began to make my way over. The closer I got it was easier to tell he had been there for a while. He looked tired but perked up when he saw me heading over.

"Hey Sasuke, how are you?" he looked nervous, like he wasn't sure if he should talk to me.

"I'm okay," he replied shyly. I smile down at him.

"That was an impressive jutsu you did there,"

"No," he shook his head,

"Itachi's is way better. I want to be as good as him," he looked so determined.

"Well at the rate you're going, you may just be able too. I'm sure Itachi is proud," he blushed and beamed at me for the compliment. He really loves Itachi.

"I have to keep practicing now."

"Alright, I'll see you around. And tell Itachi to come find me so we could spar again," he nods his head and gets back to work. Men, always so single minded.

Itachi did eventually find me again, but this time he brought Sasuke with him. He treated the spar like a lesson for Sasuke. There was a lot of pointing at me and saying what not to do. I don't mind though. I like to watch the two of them getting along so well. We were beginning to wrap up when I felt a presence through the trees. A ninja landed in front of Itachi.

"Itachi, you are wanted at the missions' desk," Itachi nods and dismisses him.

"I will be there soon," as the other ninja leaves he turns to me.

"Would you bring Sasuke back to the compound for me?" realizing that Itachi is leaving Sasuke starts to pout.

"I don't need someone to walk me. Do you really have to leave?" Itachi looks down at him and pokes him in the forehead.

"Suikazura will help you get home. I will be back soon," he then turns to me.

"Please take care of him," without even waiting for an answer he leaves me with a still pouting Sasuke. That's awkward.

"Do you want to hang out here and spar longer or do you just want me to walk you home now?" his eyes light up at the idea of sparing with someone who spars with Itachi.

"Let's spar," so we get into our positions. It was hard at first because I didn't know how hard I could hit him without hurting him, but he is a sturdy kid. He wasn't even close to beating me but I could tell he had potential to get really good. As we finished up a frown was marring his face.

"Is something wrong Sasuke?"

"Itachi made beating you look easy," this caused me to laugh. He started giving me an irritated face but I just couldn't stop.

"Itachi could make beating anyone look easy. He's just that good. But I have to say you are also really good. Who knows maybe in a few years you'll be good enough to beat me. Then you can challenge Itachi."

"You never come close to beating Itachi. I'd have to get way stronger than you," I grin.

"I'm looking forward to that, but I won't make it easy for you," he gives me a long look before nodding in acceptance to my challenge. We were at the gates to the compound now and as he was leaving me I called out one more thing.

"Bye Sasuke. And remember, if you ever want to spar feel free to find me," he nods and waves as he enters the compound. The place was huge. I had known where it was, everyone does, but I'd never been this close to it. It made me realize just how large the Uchiha family is. I avert my gaze from the wall and begin to make my way home.

I enjoyed summer break more this year than I have in the past. Before I felt like I was in such a rush to get stronger and didn't think at all about taking a break. I didn't slack too much this summer but I did spend more time doing things I enjoyed like reading, and walking. My hair was really starting to get annoying, so just before the beginning of the next school year I cut it.

I kept my bangs but now all of my hair was as long as my chin. Most of it would fit in a pony tail, but it would start falling out after a while. I ended up looking like I put my hair in a half-pony but I didn't mind. I was around this age in my old life when I first needed glasses and I was glad that I didn't need them this time. They would have been a huge hindrance.

My class was even smaller this year. Apparently more civilian children had decided that the life of a shinobi wasn't for them. I knew Hiroshi and Kiyoshi had planned on staying but it was still a relief to see them waiting in the class room for me.

This year's curriculum was fairly similar to last years, but I could see them slowly changing us from children to killers. Before, it was all just a big game, now they were starting to remind us that our lives depended on our skills. They started having other shinobi come in to the classes to tell us how great it is to fight for the village.

They were spending more time explaining ranks, and how missions worked, about how we would be on a team. It was all basic stuff but I could see the subtle shift in attitude. The year passed quickly as I kept to my training. Most of my time was spent with the boys, Kurenai, my brothers, and Yamanaka-san.

Halfway through the year they switched us to real kunai and shuriken; they were dulled but the teachers used them to show us how to properly care for them. The beginnings of puberty are the only thing that made me hate this year. It was hard enough to go through the first time, and now that I knew how I would end up it felt even worse.

My knowledge of how my body would grow was a great advantage for me. I knew I would be thick but short and adjusted my fighting now. The other children would have to keep switching and adjusting their styles until they knew they were done growing.

I caught a few glimpses of the future team Guy. They were adorable. There was already talk of Lee being that year's dead last. I felt that as a fellow dead last I should give him advice, but I knew Guy would do that for him soon enough. Neji on the other hand looked like a brat.

I don't remember when his father had been killed but it may have already happened. There were rumors of him being moved up a class or two but he ended up staying put. Tenten is pretty average and will be until they start shuriken practice. She'll have to wait a few years before it's her time to shine.

It wasn't until close to my tenth birthday that I finally noticed it. I have always considered myself paranoid so I spent a week trying to make sure I was right. It was after winter so I was going around barefoot again; I had been practicing feeling people while moving. I was being followed. To be sure, instead of going right home I went to the market, nothing unusual.

It was hard to keep track of the chakra following me because not only was I unused to sensing people while moving, but they had the chakra of a civilian. It didn't make sense to me. Why would a civilian be following me? Something was wrong, but I couldn't quite place my finger on it. It confused me more when the chakra left as soon as I got home.

It would have made sense if I went to bed when I got home but I usually went back out to spar with Itachi or Kurenai or the boys. I started paying more attention when I left the house. They always started following me at the end of my street. Why not follow me the whole way home? And then a terrible, terrible thought occurred to me. Was I being scouted by Root?

I stopped dead in my tracks. It made sense. I was being followed by someone so good at chakra control that they could disguise themselves as a civilian. They never followed me home because my next door neighbor was Inoichi Yamanaka, one of the most loyal men the third Hokage has. How long have they been following me for? The very thought made my blood run cold.

I did not want to be part of Root. They would break me like a twig. If it was a Root member following me they could pluck me like an apple whenever they saw fit. I was older than most kids brought into Root, but I was still young enough to shape. If they took me, they would turn my Disposition into a terrible weapon.

I remember that Danzo had been upset at not getting to Yamato first. If he sees me as his chance at getting a Wood Release on his side, whether or not I could actually do it, he would take me from my home. I would just disappear one day on the way home from school; I would go out to train and never come home.

I was so scared, but I needed to be sure. One day of being tailed everywhere was enough to convince me. I wanted to tell Yamanaka the first chance I got, but he was out on a mission. The entire week I could be seen clinging to my brothers. My parents thought I was going through a phase, but my brothers could see the barely contained fear when I asked them to walk me to school.

I love them. Not once did they question me, instead they altered their schedule so that they had the time to spend with me. It worried me that Root hadn't done anything yet. They must have only found out about me recently or they would have nabbed me when I was much younger. At least the Hokage was trying.

I don't know how long they had been tailing me for but I would guess they started during the winter. I would have noticed if it was before then. This all raised another question. If they knew about me, why were they tailing me? Unless they wanted to see me do it; they wanted proof. I really only use my Disposition when I am in the backyard with Yamanaka-san.

I decided right then and there not to use it until he came back. Come to think of it now would be the best time to take me. Yamanaka-san is on a mission and my brothers aren't nearly as dangerous to Root as he is. I was so paranoid I started getting Hiroshi and Kiyoshi to walk me home. When they asked me why I told them it was a girl thing. They didn't care enough to ask again.

I felt really stupid. All this time I had been worrying what would happen if Orochimaru got his hands on me. It didn't occur to me that there were threats inside our walls as well. My paranoia reached an all time high when I almost attacked Itachi for sneaking up on me. He seemed surprised by my almost attack.

"Is something wrong Suikazura?" I let out a sigh of relief when I saw it was him.

"No you just surprised me. Sorry."

"You looked like you were expecting someone," my eyes dart to where I knew the person following me to be. Itachi saw this. His own eyes narrowed as he took a peak in that direction before turning back to me.

"My brothers are trying to get revenge on me. They keep trying to catch me by surprise, because I always scare them at home. I just thought you might be one of them," he caught on immediately. Thank G-d Itachi is smart.

"Would you like me to walk you home? It will be harder to sneak up on you with two of us on the lookout," I smile at him and nod my head. My brothers were on a mission and the boys weren't available. I had been trying to keep to populated areas but the presence following me had felt like he was getting closer.

I know it was probably my imagination, but I was so freaked out right then I didn't care. As we continue in the direction of my house, I felt the man fall back even further. Was he scared of Itachi? I think he was ANBU by now. I don't remember too well though.

"Is there a reason you are being followed by ANBU?" his voice is low so that others couldn't easily eaves drop.

"I have no idea. He's an ANBU?" I add in the last part just to be sure. Itachi just nods his head in confirmation.

"I was walking home last week when I finally caught on. I had no idea and I was starting to panic," he looked at me with narrowed eyes. Probably wondering how I was able to detect ANBU level personal following me. I'm grateful he didn't comment on it. The rest of our walk was quiet. As soon as we got to my house he turned to look at me.

"Would you like me to walk you home from school tomorrow?" I felt like I owed him after today and was hesitant about having him walk me tomorrow as well. The thought of be dragged down to Root had me swallowing my pride and nodding sullenly at him.

"Then I will see you then."

"Thank you Itachi," I say quietly as he leaves. If the man tailing me doesn't know that I know about him today, he will tomorrow. I just hope Yamanaka-san gets back soon.

The following day I was met at the school gate by Itachi and a very eager looking Sasuke. They both waved hello and Sasuke began to tell me how much stronger he had gotten since our last spar. Listening to him talk was calming my nerves down by a lot. By the time I got home I was almost feeling normal.

"Do you need me to walk you tomorrow?" Itachi asked as we approached my house. I was able to see Yamanaka-san in his backyard and smiled.

"No I'll be okay. Thank you for helping me, you're a really good friend," he looked a little startled by my last words.

"Fine. I shall see you in a few weeks time then."

"Bye. See you guys next time," I wave them away before rushing next door. Yamanaka-san looked up as he saw me approach him.

"You're a bit early today Suikazura, is something wrong?" I felt around a moment to make sure we were alone before replying.

"I'm being followed," he frowned at me.

"By who?"

"I don't know!" I say, panic oozing from every pore on my skin.

"How long," he asks voice calm.

"I only realized about a week ago, but I think it may have started during the winter," he looked very serious.

"I need to speak with the Hokage. Are you all right on your own?" Kotetsu and Izumo should be home by now so I nod my head.

"Alright. I'll be back later. Stay in your house,"

"Ok. Will the Hokage make him stop?" he pauses and looks down at me.

"He will most certainly try," and with that he leaves me alone in the yard. I didn't feel comfortable there in the growing dark so I went straight for my house. It was very late by the time I felt Yamanaka-san get back to his house. Knowing I would speak with him tomorrow I closed my eyes and went to sleep.

Hope you enjoyed, leave a review, and come again. The fate of the world depends on it.

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


	12. Before You Know It

Disclaimer: I do not own this. Do I really look like a Japanese gut to you?

Authors Note: Sorry it's a day late. I have to warn you now though; the next one won't be out until Monday or late Tuesday. I'm working a lot this week and don't know when I'll have the chance to work on this.

Chapter 12- Before You Know It

The first thing I did the next morning was speak to Yamanaka-san. Honestly I was too scared to do anything else. I got up hastily and headed straight for the backyard. He wasn't outside yet so I decided to pass the time with my stretches. The moment I saw him I ran up to the fence, and before I had the chance to speak he was already calming my nerves.

"I have spoken with the Hokage. The person following you should have stopped," a look of relief crossed my features. I was glad that was over.

"If something like that ever happens again, even if you don't know for sure, I want you to come straight to me. Understand?"

"Yes," I reply, nodding my head. And with that he left me to my own devices once again. I didn't go out as much that summer as I had the previous. I was still scared something might happen. By the time the school year was ready to start up I realized that this would be Naruto's first year. I've got to sneak a peek at them.

I was late on the first day and only managed to slip in before the teacher. Upon entering the class room I noticed Hana in the corner, waving me over. Over the summer I had introduced her to Hiroshi and Kiyoshi and they had gotten along fairly well, so it wasn't surprising when they made their way over to our seats.

"Hey guys. Excited about our second to last year?" I ask with a yawn. Kiyoshi smiles at us.

"Yeah! Now I'm one step closer to being a ninja," Hiroshi nods his head in agreement. It's cute how earnest they are. I hope they don't lose that. By the time lunch came around, I was dancing an excited jig in my seat. I wanted to see them. The moment the bell rang and we were dismissed I was up and out of my seat. Hiroshi was giving me weird looks. That's okay though, I needed to remind him I was crazy anyway.

"Suikazura!" I turned at Sasuke's voice. He was walking over to me but looked like he was trying really hard not to run.

"Hi, Sasuke, enjoying your first day?" he wrinkled his nose in thought.

"I like the classes but my classmates keep staring at me," he sounded so annoyed that I just had to laugh.

"It's not funny!" the look of indignation on his face had me laughing even harder.

"Of course it's funny. They can't all stare at you though. Have you made any friends?" now he starts frowning.

"No. Everyone is so… stupid. There's this one dobe who keeps shouting at everyone." Yeah, that sounds like Naruto. We start heading towards the yard when we hear a very loud, and there is no other way to describe it, SQUEEEEEEE. Sasuke jumps at the loud noise and starts walking much closer to me than before. Oh dear. I've found the fangirls. That's going to get annoying quick.

Once outside we picked a seat near a tree and sat down to eat. He barely put his food down long enough to stop talking. He spoke about his class, his teachers, Itachi. It was only as we were going back inside that I realized he hadn't spoken of his father at all. So their relationship was already that bad.

In my past life my father and I had gone through a lot. We had both pushed each other so far over the edge, but we had gotten over it. Even if we had really only pretended it never happened, we were dealing with it. The fact that Sasuke and his father would never get that chance was just sad.

I ruffled Sasuke's hair as I dropped him off, ignoring the swatting hand that came to hit mine. Walking back to my classroom I see a very sullen Naruto. I need to do something about that. Inspiration only struck as I was on my way home. That's okay though because I need to go through the old storage closet…

The next day I happily mad my way to school with a big orange ball in tow. I got a lot of looks from Hana and the boys, especially as I tried to keep it from rolling around the floor. It wouldn't fit in my cubbie, I'd already tried. I was so preoccupied in my task I didn't notice when class began.

"-and just what are you trying to do Suikazura?" looking up at my name I realize the class is staring at me. Oops. Pushing my bangs back in a nervous gesture I offer him a sheepish grin.

"Sorry sensei. I didn't realize you were entering." It wasn't the right thing to say but I felt like I had to use my childhood to its fullest. What other way is there to do that than being insulting and pretending not to notice? His eyebrow was twitching in annoyance.

"The inability to pay attention to your surroundings will get you killed as a ninja," and so the lesson began. Rolling my eyes I take my seat placing the ball in between my feet so that it wouldn't roll around. The lesson was boring and I soon found my attention drawn to the window. I want to go outside. Sighing dramatically I lay my head on my desk and doze for the rest of the lesson.

"I have a new game to teach you guys. Let's go outside," I say to my friends when the bell rings.

"Is that what that ball is for?" Hana asks. I just nod my head and lead the way. First I needed to get Sasuke. Catching a glimpse of him in the crowd I run up behind him and grab his arm.

"C'mon Sasuke! I have a new game to show you." He jumps at the sudden contact but relaxes when he sees it's me.

"Alright already you crazy women! I'm coming so let go of my arm!" he yells at me.

"What's the brat for? Is he part of the game too?"

"Who are you calling a brat?" well this was deteriorating fast.

"Now now boys, let's put our childish differences aside for the sake of fun," they both turn their glares on me before huffing and following after me. Surveying the yard I spot Naruto pouting by one of the trees. Perfect.

"First we need to split into teams."

"I hate to break this to you Suikazura, but we don't have even numbers," Hiroshi points out. I make a surprised face before it turns thoughtful.

"Hmm. You're right. Why don't we find someone else to join us?" I say. And without giving any of them a chance to protest I run off in Naruto's direction. He looks up as he sees me approaching him. His body is tense as he looks right at me.

"Hey, my friends and I are trying to play a game but I forgot we don't have enough players. Would you like to join us?" the hope shining in his eyes was unbearable.

"Can I?" he asks breathlessly, almost as if he is afraid of the answer. I smile warmly at him as I reply.

"Of course. I wouldn't have offered if I didn't plan on letting you. What kind of a jerk does that?" it was a rhetorical question but I could see him opening his mouth to reply. I honestly don't want to know what he would have replied. Instead I interrupt him before he begins.

"My name is Suikazura. What's yours?" his last trail of thought forgotten he answers.

"My name is Naruto Uzumaki, and I'm going to be the next Hokage!" my responding smile was blinding.

"Well I look forward to the day. But for now we should go tell my friends I found another player," and now he is nervous again.

"Don't worry they're nice kids," that doesn't seem to calm him down at all. The closer we get to the group I left behind, the more pronounced Sasuke's scowl becomes.

"Out of all the people here, did you have to pick the dead last?" Naruto glares back and I can practically feel the tension.

"Be nice Sasuke. There nothing wrong with dead lasts. Unless you mean to say you hate me as well?" he looks stricken that I would think he meant such a thing. That was probably a bit mean but I wanted him to know this now. In the future he would be too blinded by his hate to really hold on to a friendship. If he and Naruto became friends now then maybe, and it was a very small maybe, he would be more reluctant to leave. As they say: every penny, or in this case minute, counts.

In the end I got him to stop glaring and pay attention to the game. I had always had mixed feelings about dodge ball but this was awesome. After everyone was able to understand the rules we began. The game is simple but with more strength and speed then the average child it made the game just a bit more interesting. And throwing things at people had always been fun.

It was a close match. The teams were: Hiroshi, Kiyoshi, and I against Naruto, Sasuke, and Hana. I made sure they were on the same team so that they had the chance to work together. In the future much of their friendship was spurred on by their rivalry. That's not a bad thing but it would be better if it wasn't as mean spirited as it had been in the beginning. All I could really do was speculate and hope.

"Man that was awesome! Can we play again tomorrow?" Naruto asked. Then he froze and looked at all of us. It was painful to see him so excited about the chance to play with other kids.

"I don't mind. What about you guys?"

"Yeah! Next time I'll bring Kiba. He would love this," Hana replies. The boys both nod enthusiastically. I turn to Sasuke waiting for his answer.

"Yeah but next time I want to be on a different team than Naruto," Naruto's expression is crestfallen before it is replaced by a mask of anger, but Sasuke wasn't done.

"Unless you think you can't win without me on your team?" and in the blink of an eye the real anger is gone. Instead there stands a dumbfounded Naruto before he grins widely.

"No way I'd lose to a jerk like you. Just you wait tomorrow I'll totally kick your butt!" Sasuke rolls his eyes at Naruto.

"Try all you want. By the way, I call Kiyoshi."

"What?! No fair! You can't start picking your team now!" I close my eyes and listen to the familiar bickering. I knew it would get really irritating soon enough, but for now it was comforting to listen to.

"Bye boys. We'll see you tomorrow. I'm going to bring Kiba so find someone else to make it even again," Hana says as we leave them. I don't even think they heard her, both too involved in their argument. Hiroshi approached me as I was preparing to leave that day and offered for him and Kiyoshi to walk me home. Shrugging I lead them out the door and into the street. We walk in companionable silence before he finally speaks up.

"That was nice of you to include him, but why?"

"I saw him during lunch yesterday. He looked really lonely. I figured he might need a friend or two," Hiroshi nods but I can see him thinking on it more.

"It doesn't matter why she had him join, all that matters is that he was fun to play with," I smile at Kiyoshi. Simple, but true.

"Yeah, that sounds about right."

Most of the year passed in much the same fashion. We didn't always have the same people playing, but the amount of regulars grew after the first week. I was surprised when we were able to get Shikamaru to join, but then again we had already snagged Chouji. There were a lot of incidents with other students. Some of the bullies wanted to play but didn't want to play with certain dead lasts; there were three of us after all.

I got so angry the first time that happened that I picked up my ball and walked away. By the time the kids noticed that the ball was missing I had already started up a mini-game with Naruto, Lee, Chouji, Sasuke, Shikamaru, Hiroshi, and Ino. It was slow going but I could see their generation beginning to not only work with each other, but like each other as well.

There were many times that year when I could have sworn I felt someone watching me. It was that ominous feeling you get when you walk down an empty street at midnight. The hairs on the back of my neck start standing up and my heart beats faster. I never have any proof. There wasn't one presence following me like last time. This felt more like they were keeping tabs on me.

The Hokage may have gotten Danzo to stop following me but that doesn't mean he is willing to let me out of his sights just yet. The very thought chills me to the bone. I felt like it wasn't safe in my own house. I had forgotten how that brings out my insomnia.

I got my period during the winter and decided to do a physical assessment of my appearance so far. It was strange to see yourself grow up. I was a few inches taller, my hair now reaching just past my shoulders. The bags under my eyes were familiar as well. I knew the ability to sleep wouldn't last forever, but it was sad to say goodbye.

I was still very thin but I could see where my arms and legs were beginning to thicken. That's good; it will help to be a bit bigger and stronger especially with how short I would end up being. Although I had gotten much better this past year I knew I still had a long way to go.

When my birthday came with the end of the school year I was surprised by the amount of people who wanted the dodge ball group to keep up over the summer. I was fine with that; it was a nice break from all my training. Naruto over the course of the year had made some of his first friends. Even Sakura who hadn't liked him much at first seemed to be warming up to him. They were all so cute.

I had always loved kids, and didn't find it hard at all to play with them. There were many times when I wasn't in the mood, but they never took it to heart. It was almost like being with my old friends. I say almost because I can't make perverted jokes here. I always know where the line is when it comes to bad jokes, but my old group of friends would throw them around all the time.

It would get very annoying but it was also hilarious. While with them I felt like I had to contain part of myself. I have always done this, but never with my friends. I was a little worried that I would slip one of these days and let out a very well placed 'that's what she said'. The worst part is, I don't think any of them would get it yet. Maybe Hiroshi or Kiyoshi, but it wasn't a term used a lot.

We were all together at the park during the first week of summer vacation when I felt a presence again. Why couldn't they leave me alone? I already suffer from paranoia and they aren't making it any better. They wouldn't try anything with all the other kids around right? It was so nerve wracking. I hate this.

I hate feeling like I'm under 24/7 surveillance. I hate being unable to go anywhere without the thought of _them_ hovering over my head. It was wearing me out quickly. I don't even have any proof. They switch so often that I can't focus on the one on me at the moment because he is always soon replaced by another. Do these people really have nothing better to do?

"Are you all right Suikazura?" I look up into the worried eyes of no less than ten children.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just spaced out there a minute. Sorry. What were you saying?" they still looked worried but they soon forgot to about it as they informed me of which team I was on. Watching all the happy children made me wonder what else had changed by my presence.

How different would it all happen this time around? What if nothing changed? I feel like I wasn't sent back far enough. The plot in the story was so convoluted; taking years, generations, to form. What good will being plopped down in the home stretch do? Wouldn't I have made more of difference if I were sent back before Akatsuki turned into what it was today?

Had I been sent back in time to prevent Yahiko's death that would have changed _everything._ Madara would still be a jerk, the Fourth Hokage may still have died, but Nagato wouldn't have turned into Pein. He would have stayed part of a peace loving organization that may have changed the world as we knew it.

Aside from damage control, what else could I do in this time period? I sigh, annoyed at the complexity of it all. Whatever; if there is something for me to do I'm sure I'll find it. I just have to keep training. I have to get as strong as possible so that I can help. And so the summer passed and I prepared to enter my last year in the academy.

It was a daunting prospect. I began worrying over what teacher I'd get, and who would be on my team. At that point there were only six civilian children left, including myself. We would probably be paired with each other so as to increase the chance of some of us failing. That's when I had my mini panic attack.

"Calm down Suikazura," I glared at Hiroshi. You don't just stop having a panic attack.

"The teachers may be hoping that the civilians fail but they aren't stupid," and now I was having a strange sense of déjà vu. Hadn't I said something similar to my brothers?

"You are the strongest of the civilians. Kiyoshi is second but he never does to well in class. I am the weakest physically but the smartest in all the classes. They will only see this when they make the teams. We will all be on the same team," I nod slowly. He was right.

"If we already know that we will be on the same team why haven't we tried working as one?" I ask an idea forming. They both start backing away at the look in my eyes.

"What are you planning?" Kiyoshi asks hesitantly.

"I have an idea. It will really help the three of us learn how to work as a team," I say with an innocent grin. They aren't buying it.

"Just wait until lunch. I'll tell you then," I say simply. Later that day I had to stop them from escaping, and dragged them out to the field where our play group was waiting.

"Alright guys. Today we try something new."

"Really? What is it? What is it?" Naruto asks all energy.

"Today it will be all of you," I pause for dramatic effect, and can hear both boys groan having caught on to my idea.

"Against the three of us. Same rules as always so let's get started," the kids looked ecstatic at the idea. They boys looked like they wanted to cry. I meanwhile resolved myself to getting beat by a bunch of kids younger than me. We failed miserably.

It was harder to hit someone when there were so few of us, but they weren't training to be ninja for nothing. It was worse when they got Tenten to join. The woman is a beast. It was hard but by the time it was over we were all determined to win the next round.

The three of us would spend evening's together working on strategies that might work on the younger kids. We got better and started lasting longer but their sheer numbers over powered us each time.

There were only some basic moves that were taught at the academy. They didn't want to spend time teaching a child Genjutsu when they would end up being a Ninjutsu user in the future. Instead they gave us the tools to find what type of jutsu or fighting styles interested us or worked best for us.

We used what we learned and soon found that the three of us would make a very rounded team. Hiroshi was interested and good at medical jutsu while Kiyoshi found himself leaning towards Genjutsu. I wouldn't say I was a taijutsu type but I did hold an advantage. It was easy to gain the upper hand in a fight with my Green Disposition, throw in a kunai and I could be deadly.

We all began studying in our chosen fields but would always get together to tell each other what we learned. Though I would never really study medical jutsu, I was learning what it could do and how Hiroshi would benefit the team with it. Kiyoshi had fun explaining the inner workings of Genjutsu to us. It was hard to understand the 'how's and 'why's' but I could definitely understand the 'how to use it'.

Say we were in a fight and revealed to the enemy that he was a Genjutsu user. We could pretend my Disposition is part of the jutsu, by the time they would realize it wasn't, it would be too late. Hiroshi we soon learned was not only good at medical jutsu but also had a scary knack for Ninjutsu as well.

I felt bad that I was learning so much about them when I was keeping a huge secret. It wasn't quite winter yet but fall had completely taken over by the time I decided to tell them. We were sitting in one of the training fields talking about anything and everything after a particularly tough spar.

"Guys, I need to tell you something," I say quietly, hoping they will catch on to the seriousness of the situation.

"What is it?" Kiyoshi asks cautiously.

"I need you guys to promise not to tell anyone unless you have my express permission."

"Sure, so spill the beans already," Kiyoshi impatiently replies.

"I mean it Kiyoshi. I can't have the both of you going around telling people about this. It's not safe."

"We promise, Suikazura," Hiroshi states in a calm voice. I take a deep breath before nodding my head. And so I show them my Disposition. As vines start growing from my feet and winding up my body the boys just gape openly at me.

"I thought you said you couldn't do Genjutsu!" Kiyoshi exclaims rather accusingly.

"It's not a Genjutsu. Ever since I was little plants would grow at my touch. I spent years trying to get it to stop. There was an incident two years ago where I felt someone following me. Ever since then I have made sure I don't leak chakra at all. You guys are my friends though, I thought you had the right to know," I finish quietly. They both continue to stare at me until I have a vine poke them in the head.

"Well? Angry? Upset? Happy? Sad? What?" they both look, really look at me, and see how terrified I am of their answer.

"You could have told us before, you know," Kiyoshi nods in agreement.

"Yeah, we could have helped you or-or done something. Now I feel like we have to train twice as much so that we can get used to fighting with you using that, and just when I thought we were getting somewhere," he wistfully sighs. I wanted to cry. I hate crying and I didn't, but I wanted to. To have friends who accept you no matter how freaky you can be is something I had missed.

"Thank you," are my whispered words. They spend the rest of the day eagerly questioning me about my Disposition. I answer them as best I can, wanting to show them that I trust them. And I did trust them. It felt good to be with people you can trust. We spent the rest of the year working on devising ways to use all our abilities to the fullest.

It was hard to get my brothers to help. They wanted too, but they were among the better Chunin at this point, and were in high demand. When we did catch them we had three against two battles with the three of us going all out. When these sessions would end I would then have my brothers help me with my kunai wielding.

The routine was familiar and I fell into it easily. Before I knew it we were coming upon the graduation exams. My parents came with the Yamanakas. I searched the crowd and found more familiar faces. Ino was sitting with Sakura away from her parents and waving at me enthusiastically, and Naruto was in the back giving me a big thumbs up.

Next to him was Sasuke, rolling his eyes at Naruto and behind them, hiding from view, is where I felt Itachi. My chest felt warm and bubbly at the thought of these people coming here just to congratulate me. I knew I still had the second exam to pass, but I couldn't hold in my excitement. I was officially a Genin of Konoha.

Hope you enjoyed! Leave a review and come again.

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


	13. A Message

Disclaimer: You're still reading this? I don't own it.

Authors Note: Here it is. Thank you to my beta, Sayle, for putting up with my terrible grammar. I don't know when the next chapter will be out. Hopefully before the weekend, but that may not happen.

Chapter 13- A Message

After the graduation ceremony our class was pulled aside and told to be at school at twelve the next day. My family had a quiet dinner as they presented me with gifts. My mother and father promised to take me out shopping for more appropriate clothes before school the next day, and my brothers had bought me a new set of kunai and shuriken along with a sharpening kit for them.

Yamanaka-san and Ino found me outside that evening and presented me with a pouch full of seeds. The variety was amazing. I had enough to make poisons, medicines and vines galore. It was exciting to be receiving all of this useful stuff. I thanked them profusely for their gift and promised to come back to them when I needed more.

The next morning my parents dragged me out shopping. I was never a big fan, but I couldn't stop from being excited this time. We found a plain pair of navy pants that stopped half way down my calf. The shirt I picked was black with long sleeves that covered the kunai I had sheathed there. I felt uncomfortable with just a shirt so I picked out a thin navy blue vest that I zippered up half way.

I finished off my outfit with a knee length black skirt that covered up the sheaths on my thighs. I wore my seed pouch on a black belt around my waist, where I also kept a long dagger.

When I wore my standard blue sandals and my head band I looked like a giant bruise because of all the blue and black. To be fair they are my favorite colors. By the time we were done shopping I still had time before I needed to be at school so I went to a training field to practice basic taijutsu against a dummy. That's how Sasuke and Itachi found me.

"Hey, what are you guys doing here?" I ask cheerfully. Itachi pushes Sasuke forward and he almost trips. He glares at Itachi a moment before turning to me and holding something out in his hands.

"Here. It's a birthday and graduation present from the two of us. You go through bandages so quickly we figured this would make things easier for you," I looked at his hands and smiled. They were simple fingerless gloves with a metal piece on it, much like the leaf headband.

"Thanks, I really appreciate it. Wanna help me test them out?" So I got my butt handed to me. They waved goodbye and headed in the opposite direction of the academy as I turned to go on my way. As I neared the gates I saw an eager and nervous looking Naruto.

"Hi, Naruto. Whatcha doin'? You do realize you're done with school for the summer, right?" he just rolls his eyes at me before jumping and shoving something in my hands.

"Here I got these for you as a present, because you always complain about your hair getting in the way. Sorry I couldn't get any better but these were the only ones I could afford…" he trails off looking nervous again. They were thick and sturdy ponytails. The ones I had always snapped after a few weeks of use. I had enough here for a year at least.

"Wow, thank you. These are just what I need," I smile at him and awkwardly pat him on the head. He smiles brightly at me and my smile widens.

"I knew you would love them! They're great aren't they?" he says enthusiastically and I nod my head in reply. We talk for a little longer before I head inside, with my shoulder length hair in a high pony and my head band around my forehead. I left my bangs over the forehead protector, a sign of my need to hide behind things.

As I meet up with the boys and we take our seats I can feel my nerves skyrocket. Looking around the room I can see that everyone is equally as nervous as the three of us. It really showed when our teacher walked in the room and it became quiet enough to hear a pin drop.

"You are all now Genin of Konoha and will be split into teams of three under the instruction of a Jonin sensei. The first team will-"he was interrupted by a tall man in the standard flack vest who walked into the room as if he owned it.

"I'm here for my team," he says simply. I had the strongest urge to giggle. He just looked so out of place in a children's school room. He wore red rimmed sunglasses, inside no less, and his head band was tilted slightly. He has spiky black hair and looked very familiar.

"I have not quite gotten there yet Yamashiro-san. If you would wait just a moment," the teacher says clearly irritated by the man, Yamashiro. He sighed looking bored and waved the teacher to continue. The teacher cleared his throat before beginning again.

"As I was saying before I was interrupted, team one will consist of Hiroshi, Kiyoshi, and Hagane Suikazura. Your Jonin sensei will be Yamashiro Aoba-san. Seeing as he is already here it's best not to keep him waiting. You three are dismissed." We gave each other quick looks before we stood.

"Come on you three, let's go get something to eat," Aoba-sensei gestured for us to follow him. We just shrugged and left the room.

"First and foremost why don't we go get some lunch? We can talk while we eat." Always up for free food we follow him to a BB-Q restaurant that was popular in the village.

"Alright why don't we start with introductions," he says after we were seated comfortably.

"You already know my name, and can call me Aoba-sensei. And you are?" he looks at Hiroshi.

"My name is Hiroshi."

"I'm Kiyoshi." Aoba-sensei noticed the lack of last names.

"Orphans then?" the boys tense before nodding affirmative. Sensei then turns to me expectantly.

"I'm Hagane Suikazura," I say quietly looking down. I'm not very good with people I don't know too well and he was kinda intimidating.

"Any relation to Kotetsu?" he asks curiously.

"Yes. He is my older brother," Aoba-sensei nods his head in understanding.

"Just as I thought," he says as a waitress brings us our food. He was weird. He didn't seem to care that we were all civilians; he only asked us questions about ourselves. He seemed genuinely interested in who we were as people, not caring who was our family.

"You three seem pretty close. How long have you been friends?"

"About five years," I say questioningly.

"Four and a half," Kiyoshi replies. I roll my eyes.

"Whatever, same difference." Sensei seems amused by our conversation. I can see his lips twitching.

"Have you ever had a team before, sensei?" Hiroshi asks.

"No you are my first. I am a special Jonin, not usually picked for Genin teams," my eyes widen in understanding. No one expected us to get very far so they gave us an inexperienced teacher who isn't even considered a full Jonin. As a special Jonin he specialized in a certain field and achieved the title Jonin because of it. After years of being a special Jonin he could probably pass as a full Jonin but that was beside the point.

"You're very quick Suikazura." Aoba-sensei said, while the boys looked between us confused.

"What? What's wrong?" Kiyoshi asked.

"They picked him as our teacher because they don't expect us to get very far. No offense sensei, but you aren't even considered a full Jonin. They assigned you to us because they want us to fail before we become a casualty to the village," he nods his head at me, confirming my suspicion.

"I do not care what families you three come from. After lunch I will test your abilities, and if I find you competent I will take you on as my students. Though I am inexperienced as a teacher I will do my best for the three of you. I hope we can work together, besides, I seem to have taken a liking to you three." We all just stare at him dumbfounded. Here he was, exactly what we needed; a teacher who would help us full time. We couldn't stop our smiles after his little speech.

"That doesn't mean I've passed you. We still have to spar," he says, blushing uncomfortably. This was going to be fun. We quickly finish our food, eager to get to a practice field, but sensei seemed perfectly content to walk at the pace of a snail. He seemed like a Kakashi wannabe. The very thought of him in a mask and being late everywhere had me laughing.

The boys were quick to pester me about my sudden outburst but I just waved them off. We made it to the field and all assumed battle ready positions; the three of us against Aoba-sensei. There is a moment of silence before he explodes into a mass of crows. Their cawing is confusing and no matter how much I try to dispel the Genjutsu, I can't; it is a really good technique.

Instead of wasting time I use the grass to find his chakra. There, behind Hiroshi. Closing my eyes I focus on his movements. Before he gets the chance to attack I have him bound by my vines. The Genjutsu breaks and his body has been replaced by a log.

"In the tree," Kiyoshi calls to us. I can see him working the beginnings of his own Genjutsu, just as Hiroshi is starting his water whip. He became very adept at the move after we figured out he was a water type. They needed time so I jumped to sensei's location ready to stall him. I ran right for him and purposely pulled my vines up behind me.

He seemed to think it was part of the Genjutsu that Kiyoshi was working on and tried dispelling it, which gave me enough time to attack; too bad he dodged. He jumps back and turns just in time to block as Hiroshi's whip goes flying at him. I back off to take in the situation. We weren't battling to kill, and neither was he. He wanted us to use all our tricks and see how we fight before deciding whether to teach us or not.

If using the Disposition helped sway him in the slightest, then I was going to use it. We needed a teacher. Kiyoshi, finished with his jutsu, runs up to help Hiroshi, but all it does is slow him down for a second before I feel his presence behind me. I duck instinctively, and just in time too. Unsheathing my dagger and grabbing a kunai for my right hand, I turn to respond to his attack with my own.

He easily blocks and dodges everything I throw at him, paying me back double. He may be a Genjutsu type, but he was no slacker. Hiroshi gets behind him and catches him with the whip before sensei once again disappears in a puff of smoke, leaving Kiyoshi in his place. We quickly untangled ourselves before turning to find where sensei had gone.

"You three need a lot of work but I think I can handle you," sensei says from across the field.

"You mean it?" Kiyoshi asks hopefully. Aoba-sensei just nods his head, pushing up his glasses in the process.

"Wohoo!" Kiyoshi cheers, high fiving an equally excited Hiroshi.

"Thank you sensei, you won't regret this," I say, bowing politely. He smiles down at us as he waits for us to calm down.

"Tomorrow we meet here at seven sharp. Now go home and rest, you three deserved it." With spirits high we prepared to leave.

"Suikazura, I'd like to have a word," the boys look back at me, prepared to wait, but I wave them to go on ahead.

"The Hokage mentioned your ability to me, but I'm a bit fuzzy on the details. Would you clarify what it is?" I nod and take a moment to collect my thoughts. Well, here goes nothing.

"I have the ability to control the growth of all plants. With just a bit of chakra I can make a once dead clearing teeming with life. It does not take as much chakra as a jutsu would, and I don't need jutsu to do it. I do, however, need an existing plant to work with, it's why I carry these," I point to my seed pouches.

"Tell me, can you control wood as well?" I pause.

"I can make wood grow, but something about it drains more than twice as much chakra as a vine or a flower would. It grows at a much slower pace than flowers and vines as well," he nods in understanding and motions me to continue.

"I'm not really considered a sensor type, but I can feel people who are connected to the ground. It is not accurate and should not be fully depended on as if it were. If someone were to henge as Kiyoshi I would be able to tell the difference, but if someone were to henge as you, I would not. I do not know your chakra very well yet, and would have trouble recognizing it.

"I can tell if someone is a ninja or civilian, but there are ninja who can disguise their chakra like that of a civilian. I cannot tell the difference," he seems to be pondering something before he speaks up.

"How does this affect your chakra control practice? If you were to attempt tree climbing, would you be able to?" would I? It took longer than it should have, but I was eventually able to learn the leaf concentration exercise. My brows are furrowed as I reply.

"I should be able to learn it, but I may be much slower in the uptake then the boys."

"That makes sense. Thank you for explaining this to me. I must go inform the Hokage of your team's pass. I will see you tomorrow," I wave goodbye at him as he leaves. Letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding, I began the walk home. I was about half way there when Kotetsu jumps out at me. He snakes an arm around my neck as Izumo comes and does the same on my other side.

"So, did you pass?" I attempt to slip out of their grasp but they don't budge.

"Yes I did, now please let go,"

"That's good news. And no I don't think we will," I elbow Izumo for his taunting reply.

"It's your fault for spacing out like that. Now that we have you, we won't let go until we get home," Kotetsu says triumphantly.

"How old are you two? I seem to have forgotten because of your inability to act your age." Izumo rolls his eyes as Kotetsu whacks me in the head.

"Fine. Don't let go, in fact be my guest and hold on as long as you want. But don't blame me when you have back problems from bending over for so long," they only laugh at my futile attempt to shake them off. They could be such boys some times. When I got home I went straight to my room. There was a lot of paper work to fill out. By the time I was done, I was seriously considering taking up origami.

The next morning we all met bright and early, eager for our first day with a new teacher. He appeared not too much later than us and set us straight to work. Before going on missions, he wanted to get a better feel of our strengths, weaknesses, adaptability, and teamwork. We were overall a good team. Where one had a weakness another had strength, it was only a matter of switching tasks and putting our teamwork to use.

Hiroshi had a scary aptitude for water and medical jutsu, but his weapons handling left much to be desired. Kiyoshi was just above average with Genjutsu, and would have to work really hard to make up for his lack of Ninjutsu. I was good at taijutsu, but I was no Rock Lee. I specialize with close combat and could adjust to long range support if need be.

My chakra control is average and I have no luck with Genjutsu, but my weapons wielding was almost as good as Kotetsu's. After spending so much time learning and training with them, I'd be surprised if I wasn't close. My aim still sucks, though. My main advantage was the element of surprise. The first came with my unusual brawlers' style, followed by the Disposition, and before an enemy knows it, he has a well placed kunai in the gut.

That's the theory, anyway. We still had yet to take on our first mission, let alone fight our first real enemy. We spent that whole week showing what we knew, practicing what we knew, and barely touching the surface of what we didn't. We were all given body weights to help improve our physical strength. Aside from that, it felt like I was going to a show-and-tell version of the academy.

Aoba-sensei spent a lot of time with us individually. He spoke with us, went down to our level to understand our personalities, and taught us what he knew without reservation. I hold great respect for Aoba-sensei. He has never had a team before, but he was doing a damn good job so far. By the time we took on our first mission a week later, we felt ready.

"It's good to see you here for your first mission, team Aoba," it wasn't rare for the Hokage to be present, especially when we were a new Genin team. He always greets them and gives them their first mission, it was tradition. I knew this but I still felt like he was watching me.

He was watching me and seeing how I act around my teammates. It made me nervous, and I spoke much less than usual after entering the great red building. I had seen the Hokage before quite a few times; he liked to make himself visible. Never before have I had a direct conversation with the man and I was finding it hard to gather my thoughts.

Though he gave off the impression of a nice old man, I could feel the raw power he emanated. It was very intimidating. He wasn't the only one in the room but he was definitely the most memorable.

"Your mission will be to weed the all the Yamanaka farms outside the village gates. We will expect to hear from you again before nightfall. Good luck," good luck was right. Weeds didn't die when I touched them, at least I hadn't thought of a way yet.

Hokage forgotten, my mood became thoughtful. The only time I had tried to kill a plant; I had taken its life. Maybe there was a possibility to transfer the life, nature chakra, without expending my own. If there was a way I hope I find it because that could be very useful. When I used the disposition I bent the chakra and pushed small amounts of my own into it to ease the process.

Can I take the chakra from one plant and give it to another? Can I do it without taking the chakra in first? It had been years since I touched the nature chakra, and it scared me. But I would never learn without taking risks. I couldn't do it alone though. I wonder what the chances are of the Hokage knowing about nature chakra. I put that question away for later.

We made our way out of town to the first farm and worked swiftly. I waited until we were at the last farm of the day before I proposed my idea to sensei. I wanted his opinion on the idea. In the end he agreed and I sat down by a tree. I noticed with an ironic snort that this was the same tree I had first attempted this under. With my shoes off and my hands digging into the ground, I closed my eyes.

I could feel the whole field, every last piece of grass. It was both intimidating and exhilarating. Focusing on the weeds only I felt around for their energy. It wasn't too hard to find them, there weren't that many and they were the only plants that weren't in a neat row. I reached out and touched the energy, still a bit nervous. Tugging it, I began to pull it from its anchor. The feeling of the chakra running up my 'roots' freaked me out so much I cut the connection.

"Are you all right Suikazura?" I nod my head, breathing harder than usual.

"I'm going to try again," I say quietly, once again closing my eyes. It had been a reflex to stop what I was doing when I felt the chakra, but doing that would get me nowhere. It took a few tries but I eventually latched onto a weed and used my chakra to guide it to the rest of the field. I almost flinched when I felt the chakra enter my body, but breathed out a sigh of relief when it left just as quickly.

Opening my eyes I took in the state of the field. It had worked; I could barely contain my excitement. The boys were gaping at the field that was now much bigger than before, and I had to giggle at their expressions.

"Mission accomplished," I say cheekily at them. They look at me and just laugh, but it quickly changes to worry as I sway while trying to get up.

"I'm fine!" I say automatically, hands held up defensively.

"Just a little dizzy from doing that on such a large scale. Why don't we go pick up the dead weeds and go home?" I say, changing the subject. I almost jump at the hand that was laid on my shoulder.

"Suikazura, why don't you sit this one out," my expression turns annoyed as I grumbled at Aoba-sensei, but sat back down none the less. When we returned to the missions desk that evening; the Hokage was no longer there, probably finding something more important to do.

When I went home that night I told Yamanaka-san of my experiment. He wasn't happy that I had attempted it without him, but he couldn't be completely upset with me. I had Aoba-sensei there after all, and Yamanaka-san knew he wouldn't have let anything bad happen. Once I finished explaining the theory to him and what I had done, he had me demonstrate. I fell into a deep sleep that night, utterly exhausted.

The next morning my team met up for some pre-mission training before heading off to the missions' desk where we were sent off to paint some fences. It was boring mind numbing work and we finished fairly fast. We were let loose for the day and I decided to find Sasuke. Itachi's birthday was that week and I needed his help with my present. I eventually found him in one of the training fields.

"Hey Sasuke." He looks up and smiles at me.

"Are you here with Itachi or are you training by yourself?" and now he was pouting.

"I was with Itachi but then he got called for another mission."

"That's good. I need your help with something. I'm drawing a picture for Itachi's birthday and I thought you might want to help." He was eager to help me, so we set to work. By the time we were finished with the picture we were both trying not to fall into fits of laughter. Because it just looked so _funny._ I told Sasuke when and where to meet me with Itachi in two days and set out for home.

I was walking past a local book store and decided to enter, looking around to pass the time. That's when I saw it, The Tales of a Gutsy Ninja; I had to buy it. I started reading it but never had the chance to finish it. Instead it went everywhere with me in my bag in case the chance to read arose.

When we met up Itachi looked wrong. There was something off about him. He hid it well, but I could tell how tired he was. My eyes widen with realization; it was almost time. Instead of doing anything I cut right to the chase.

"Happy Birthday!" I yell loudly in his ear. He glares but then rolls his eyes at me.

"Hello. Is there a reason Sasuke insisted I be here?"

"We have something to give you," Sasuke said to him, and then to me,

"Quick, give it to him," I shuffled around in my bag until I found it and presented it to a rather unimpressed Itachi. My drawing skills were limited to detailed stick figures, but that never stopped me from giving a new one to him every birthday. This time I had had Sasuke help.

I handed them to him as he took in the first picture. It was of the three of us having some sort of face off. The second page was us all throwing weapons at each other, which led to the third page. A victorious Sasuke standing on a knocked out Itachi's back, with big X's for eyes. There was a mini me in the background clapping for them. Itachi's eyebrows were twitching.

"And here is the last page," I hand it to him with an unnecessary flourish. The last picture was of Sasuke helping Itachi back up, both of them smiling. I saw Itachi's grip tighten on the picture for a moment before loosening them again. There was an almost peaceful look on his face as he stared at the last one.

"So are you going to add these to your ever growing collection?" I ask, trying to break up the moment. He just rolls his eyes again and puts them in his pocket. The three of us spent the rest of the day together catching up. I had forgotten how relaxing Itachi's presence was, but it couldn't stop the ominous feeling that kept nagging at the back of my mind.

That night I was woken by the loud ringing of the emergency alarm. There was a code in it calling all Jonin, but even if I wasn't supposed to go, I couldn't just fall back to sleep. I found myself sitting in the kitchen with my equally twitchy brothers. We didn't speak other than to ask how the others wanted their hot chocolate.

I spent the whole morning in a daze before I heard the knock at the door. It was Yamanaka-san looking very grave.

"Suikazura, we need you down at the intelligence division," I blinked in confusion. Why would they need me there? I had no skill with interrogation, unless… unless they wanted to question me. I gulped and nodded following behind him as he led the way. I was one of the last people to see Itachi yesterday.

They brought me into a big room with dim lights and sat me on the chair in the middle. It had metal parts attached to it that must be used for strapping someone down. Just the thought of being strapped into that chair and tortured had me shaking in my boots.

"Calm down. We just need to ask you some questions," his voice was soothing, but I wasn't calming down anytime soon. There was blood on the floor. The doors open and in walk a man that could only be Ibiki. He is tall and most of his skin is covered. In fact the only part of him showing was his face. He was both calming and intimidating.

He pulled Yamanaka-san aside and they spoke in hushed voices. Not knowing what to do I decide to just sit as still as possible. I'm embarrassed that I actually began to doze off. After staying up the whole night, I had exhausted myself with worry. They startled me into alertness when Ibiki spoke.

"Are you aware of what happened last night?" the question was curt as if he was expecting an answer and nothing but the truth. I nod my head, misunderstanding the question on purpose.

"Yes. My brothers and I were woken by the bells," they both blinked at me and then jumped topics.

"Where were you yesterday?"

"In the morning I went on a mission with my team. That afternoon I met up with two of my friends, Sasuke and Itachi. It was Itachi's birthday so we wanted to give him his present. Then I went home for dinner and trained with Yamanaka-san like always. Last night the bells went off and my brothers and I had hot chocolate. We were too scared to sleep," the both looked at me, sizing up the truth of my words.

"It is mainly for protocols sake, but would you let Yamanaka-san enter your mind?" it wasn't a question.

"N-no," I faked confusion, but the fear was all real. Yamanaka-san had been silent through most of this. He walks up to me and places a hand on my head. All the memories of the past week flew around behind my eyes, overwhelming me. I knew he was trying to be gentle, but it was still uncomfortable. I felt him begin to pull out before he paused.

"_Chana if you want the washer use it now."_

"_Ok ok, geesh women hold your horses."_

"_You have to walk the dogs in the morning."_

"_Nope. On the weekend the dogs are all yours."_

"_Rachel please be quiet, I'm trying to watch something,"_ snippets of conversation from my past life. He pulled out. I open my eyes and see him looking at me curiously before he turned to face Ibiki.

"She knows nothing," Ibiki nods and looks at me.

"There was a massacre at the Uchiha compound last night. Sasuke Uchiha is the only survivor," my eyes are wide as I just stare at him.

"W-who killed them?" I asked quietly, already knowing the answer.

"Itachi Uchiha. As his friend we brought you in to make sure you had no part in it," I nod in understanding; I'd have done the same thing had I been in their position.

"Where is Sasuke? Can I see him?" I saw they were about to deny me, but then they saw the pleading desperation in my eyes. They exchanged a glance before nodding and leading me out of the building.

"He is not to see anyone for his own safety, but we will make an exception this once," said Ibiki. We enter the hospital and walk to the back where and ANBU was guarding the last door. He stepped aside when he saw us and let me in. Ibiki and Yamanaka-san waited outside.

I walked into the room and saw the pitiful state Sasuke was in. he was just sitting there, unresponsive. It was as if he had lost the will to fight, as if it had all been sucked out of him leaving only a dried out husk of his former self.

I went to sit in the chair at the end of the bed and faced him, my hands folded in my lap. His eyes raise just the tiniest bit in acknowledgement before lowering again. But I saw how empty they were.

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry? You're sorry? Sorry won't bring back my clan! Sorry won't make Itachi come back! You don't know anything!" he looked demented, his body shaking, and his voice cracking from disuse.

"You don't even care do you? You're just like them! You don't care that my family is dead!" his voice was accusing and it hurt, but I let him exhaust himself before I spoke.

"I do know Sasuke. He was my friend. When I heard he killed your whole clan, I thought-"I pause, taking a deep breath.

"I thought he killed you too. I thought you were dead Sasuke. Even if only for a moment I knew exactly how you felt," and I looked at him with such pain in my eyes that he had to know I was telling the truth.

"I'm going to kill him," Sasuke's quiet, murderous voice spoke.

"I'm going to kill him!" it wasn't just anger and hate in his voice. It was pain of the worst kind that he was feeling; betrayal. And then he shrieked.

"I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!" and he just kept screaming. No tears, just a long cry of pain, a wail of frustration. He was hurting so much, and I couldn't do anything but sit there my eyes facing downward.

"Yeah…" my voice was small in the silence that followed his outburst, but I knew he heard me.

"But Sasuke…" he looks up at me, face blank.

"Will you come back home afterward?" I sounded like a child, scared their parent wouldn't come home, but I didn't care. Even if he eventually breaks any promises he makes, I still needed to hear them right now. He looks at me, not expecting that.

"Please don't just leave. I know he was my friend, but you are too. I can't bear to lose you both," he continues to look at me with a blank face. And then his tears begin to fall; slowly at first, one by one, until they are a continuous stream down his cheeks. He doesn't say anything, just nods, but it was all I need.

"Thank you," I whisper as he nods again, this time more sure of the action. We sat there for a while, neither of us talking. We didn't need to, because we knew how the other felt. It was getting dark out when I finally stood up from my seat.

"I need to go," he just stares blankly, tears having dried out hours ago. I walk towards him and place a hand on his shoulder, keeping it there until he looked at me.

"I'll come and visit tomorrow, okay? Please try to get some rest," he flinched at my words. Just the thought of sleeping after having seen what he did must have scared him. I couldn't leave him like this.

"Here, if you can't get to sleep why don't you just read something," I say, handing him the Tales of a Gutsy Ninja. His only response is a small barely noticeable nod. I squeeze his shoulder before making my way out of the room.

And I hated myself. Why hadn't I done anything? Why didn't I even try? Was I really so selfish, so comfortable with my life, that I let this happen? It was my fault that Sasuke was in such pain. It was my fault that Itachi was destroyed for his village, his brother. It was my fault because I was content to do nothing when I very well knew of the outcome.

I knew that I wouldn't have been able to do anything to stop it, but couldn't I have at least tried? I felt disgusting, dirty, like I had been infected by my guilt. It was guilt I had no right to feel, having brought this on myself. I deserve it, because I did _nothing._ And I hate myself even more when I wanted to blame someone.

Danzo; because he really was the root of the problem. But as responsible for this as he was, I couldn't place the blame on him. Not fully at least. So much had gone into the downfall of the Uchiha, he was just the catalyst.

I didn't sleep at all that night. I sat in the tree in my backyard, just meditating. I was thinking, sorting out my feelings, some so irrational. But no matter how much I knew I couldn't have done anything, I felt like I should have. I felt guilty for not doing anything, causing me to hate myself for feeling like I had the right to feel that way. Because I knew I deserved any pain it caused.

I had thought I had gotten out of this self destructive thinking long ago, but I guess I was wrong. I have never liked myself, because I am a disgusting human. I may not be as bad as Danzo or Madara, but I was skewered in my own way. And I was angry. Angry at Danzo, Madara, I was angry at Itachi. Because I thought I had stopped this way of thinking, and just once incident has me going over the edge again.

I felt trapped, like any progress I made would be destroyed. I felt like I had been destroyed. The walls I had built many years ago to keep me safe from myself were crumbling, and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I knew I was unstable now. I knew what I was feeling was wrong. I knew I had a right to be guilty, but… It was so hard to change the first time. Now I had to do it all over.

I didn't need to start from scratch. I wasn't a fourteen year old, so uncomfortable in her own home that she never slept, locked her door all the time, and heard those voices. I wasn't the broken twelve year old who thought her mother hated her, and so treated her in kind. I wasn't the angry eight-year old who would get so upset she would hit her brothers.

But I wasn't the fifteen year old who overcame that either. I wasn't the sixteen year old who finally stood up for herself and forged her own path. I wasn't the seventeen year old who, though not exactly 'happy', was content with what she had earned herself. I wasn't breaking and I wasn't healing. I wasn't Chana anymore.

I was thirteen year old Suikazura, a girl who needed to separate from her old self, before she self destructs. I am the daughter of two amazing people, and sister to the best brothers in the world. I have some friends who mean more to me then the world, even if I didn't always act like it.

I had been Chana before, but I wasn't now. Not fully. I used to be Chana and had her personality and experiences, her mind. But now I was Suikazura, and I had to let Chana go. Not completely, I would never be able to get rid of her completely, but I would take what I had learned as Chana and use it so that Suikazura never makes the same mistakes. Because Suikazura is different; because unlike Chana who lost hers early on, Suikazura has a chance.

This chapter came out much longer than I had first anticipated. Hope you enjoyed it, leave a review and come again!

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


	14. A Time to Heal

Disclaimer: I'm too stupid to own this.

Authors Note: I am so sorry for how long this chapter took. A lot of stuff happened this past week and I just haven't been able to write. I have three holidays coming up in the next month so updates will be slow. On a side note, I would like to thank everyone who has reviewed so far especially the anonymous reviewers because I can't thank you privately. Last chapter I reached 100, something I never imagined would happen. Thank you I hope you enjoy.

Chapter 14- A Time to Heal

The grass was green, the sky blue, and my heart bleak. Everything around me felt muted. It was the day after the massacre and the news had spread all around the village. Gossip was to be expected, but this eerie silence was not. People still bustled about, but no one lingered. They spoke quietly of the tragedy that had befallen one of the village's strongest clans.

There was to be a joint funeral held in a days' time. I couldn't help but notice that they were to be kept apart from the rest of the village graves. Most seemed to think it was out of respect; I thought it was because, even in death, the elders thought the Uchiha capable of tainting their own. I wanted to be angry at them, but was I really any better?

After my team's mission that day I wandered around the village, unable to relax at home. An old willow tree rested by the river, its long winding bough reaching into the water. Climbing it wasn't too hard, just a little more taxing than climbing a normal tree.

The willows branches hid me as I tucked myself into one of the harder to reach limbs. Time began to slow as I breathed in deep, using this moment of peace to its fullest. I pulled out of my doze some time later, only then noticing the presence on the other side of the trunk, resting much like I had been moments before.

"Hello?" I called out hesitantly. If they had gone through the trouble of hiding in here then they probably didn't want to be disturbed, but I didn't want to take the chance of him being someone I don't want to run into.

"Ah, I didn't realize this spot was already taken," they reply, getting up in the process.

"You don't need to leave, I won't mind you here as long as you don't mind me here," he sits back down at my assurances. Well this is awkward. What does one say in a situation like this? The silence weighs heavily in my ears.

"So… you come here often?" he snorts, giving me the insane urge to stick my tongue out at him.

"I wouldn't say often, but I do enjoy the solitude this area offers."

"Sorry. I didn't mean to take your spot."

"No need to apologize. It's not like this tree has my name on it or something"

"I know, but I still feel kinda bad. Maybe you should write your name on it," this conversation must have been the oddest he'd had with a stranger. He was silent again. Had I said something to offend him?

"I don't have a name," he says softly. Oh, that sucks. I can't even imagine what that must be like. To grow up without a sense of identity, it must be terrible.

"What do people call you if you don't have a name?" silence.

"Neko," is his quiet reply. Neko?

"You've lived your whole life being called 'Neko'?" I ask incredulously. Because even if you don't have a name, who gets called 'Cat'?

"Is there a problem with that?" he asks calmly, but I can tell he is upset by my insensitive words.

"Sorry." And now he is confused.

"You're sorry?"

"I was just curious, I didn't mean to upset you," my voice leaks frustration that's been building up. I felt like even the smallest of things could send me over the edge. Emotionally, I was stretched so thin, I felt like a rubber band about to snap.

"It's alright. I get questions like that often," he finally says, voice distant. I watch as an ant climbs the tree trunk, thinking on his words. He grew up without a name and had spent his life being called Neko. Warning bells were ringing in the back of my head; it sounded so familiar. My brows furrow as I watch the ant continue its ascent.

"Why haven't you given yourself a name?" he seems surprised by the very notion of naming yourself, before replying honestly.

"There has never been a need."

"Never been a need? What are you part of ANBU or something?" Hit the nail on the head. He was the cat ANBU, better known as Yamato. That was… unexpected.

"ANBU? Yeah right!" he laughs and waves it off casually. It was all fake; I could feel his surprise. I huff at him, playing along.

"Well you never know. Besides it sounded like a plausible idea in my head. I can't see your face, so I don't know if you are wearing a mask, but I do know that ANBU have animal code names," I say, trying to show him my thought process.

"But still, ANBU?" I roll my eyes and cross my arms, though he can't see any of this. It was quiet again, but this time it was more comfortable. The sun began to disturb my eyes through the leaves, signaling me to leave. Sighing wearily I get up off my branch and turn to face the trunk.

"Bye, not in ANBU Neko-san. I have to go now." As I leave the tree I could have sworn I heard him snort again. I didn't want to leave. The tree had worked like a shield, blocking all my problems. Sighing again, I start on the path to the hospital. There was still time before dark, and I had promised Sasuke I would visit him.

Sasuke was looking both better and worse than the previous day. His hair was a mess and his eyes were baggy, but there was life there now. He seemed more responsive. I shut the door firmly so as to alert him of my presence.

"His name is Naruto," he says, sounding confused and bewildered. Taking the seat I had occupied the day before, I answered.

"Strange huh? And he acts like him too." Sasuke just nods, blinking slowly.

"Do you… do you think Naruto will find the answer?" I wasn't sure if he was talking about Naruto or the book.

"Maybe; I haven't finished the book yet. Perhaps he finds some friends to help him," I reply suggestively. Sasuke nods again with a faraway look to his eyes.

"Are you alright Sasuke?" I break the silence. Sasuke turns and looks at me as if just realizing I was still here, before looking down.

"No. I am not alright. But… maybe I will be… later. I just… I need some time," he sounds so unsure of himself. I nod in understanding before getting up and resting a hand on his head. The motion was awkward and Sasuke tenses a moment before he relaxes and looks up at me.

"I'll go home now, but if you need me you know where to find me. Please don't hesitate to get me, even if you only need someone to yell at," my eyes bore into his until he looks down and nods his head. I ruffle his hair before beginning the walk home. Twilight had already set in by that point. The stars shone brightly in the clear evening sky. My heart felt as if it was slowly clearing as well. The conflict inside me was fading, leaving only a strong determination to make everything better.

It is foolish of me to believe that determination will be enough. I have no plan, no idea what or how to change things. But right then I needed the strength it granted me. Without it I feared I would collapse in on myself. Upon arriving at my house I made a beeline for the backyard where I could think.

My time inside my head was disrupted by Yamanaka-san. I had felt his presence coming and opened my eyes. He was watching me intently; a confused and wary look on his face. Usually if he wanted to talk to me he would wave me over, but this time he walked over to my spot and leaned against the tree behind me. I almost fell over as I tried to turn without having to get up.

"Who is Chana?" his voice stumbled over the foreign name, unused to such pronunciation. It ended up sounding more like Kana. How to answer a question like that. How much can I give away? How much will he believe? I avoided looking at his eyes and began to fidget.

"Yamanaka-san, do you believe in reincarnation?" his eyes widened when he understood what I was implying.

"It has never been proven so there is no reason to take it as a certainty, but it has not been disproven either."

"How does one go about proving they were reincarnated? Humans have an inability to believe something they have never seen."

"I will admit that what you are implying does not seem very believable, but from what I gathered in your head, it is a possibility," now he was looking at me with some excitement. The thought of him dissecting my mind to find out once and for all freaked me out.

"Do you believe you have been reincarnated?" the question was innocent but confused me like no other. I had been reincarnated hadn't I? Unless this was all just some sort of dream I'm having in the hospital. I begin to pick at my sleeve hem at the thought. Was I still fighting for my life with my old family by my side, hoping for my eventual recovery?

But this place felt so real. The people, the places, the time that had passed. They all felt a part of me, but not in the 'it was all just a dream' sense. This was real. I was a ninja at the beginning of her career. I'm not Chana. That life is over.

"Yes," my voice is firm in my answer. "I have her memories, experiences, but she died," he was looking at me thoughtfully now. He seemed to be unable to figure out if I was telling the truth. Quite frankly, in his position, I have no idea what I would have felt.

"You remember her life? I always figured that was something that was forgotten when being reborn." My eyebrows furrow at that. I had always thought the same as well.

"I don't know why I have her memories, but I do."

"Who were you?" he asked curiously. Hm… how to answer that without sounding crazy. Sighing in annoyance at being unable to find an answer to my question, I just settle on telling the truth. Well… the edited truth.

"This is going to sound crazy," I complain, hoping to wheedle my way out of explaining. The look he gave me was enough to have me continue.

"Chana… wasn't from this world," Yamanaka-san furrowed his brows, confused.

"The technology in that place was much more advanced than any place here. The buildings were built so high that from the ground they seemed to be touching the sky. There were giant metal birdlike things called airplanes that could fly with hundreds of people riding them. At seventeen I died. The next thing I knew I was learning about my new family.

"I was left with no other choice than to believe in reincarnation. It was scary, being stuck in an unfamiliar body that wouldn't respond. Please Yamanaka-san, I'm not a threat. I'm not dangerous. Please don't hurt my family because of this," desperation was leaking into my voice. I knew it was stupid to think he would hurt my family but right then I was so emotionally distraught anything seemed possible.

He was staring at me taking this all in. it looked as if he wasn't going to believe me. Perhaps I would be stuck in a mental institute. I began to bite my lips as well as tugging at my hem.

"Suikazura, I am not sure I can believe this," my heart sank at his words. He didn't believe me. Of course he wouldn't, but it still kinda hurt.

"Perhaps if we sat down and I searched your mind we could prove how truthful your words are," I looked up at him surprised. He was going to give me a chance to prove it?

"Would that really be enough?" I ask, disbelief tinting my voice. He seemed to think about my question before answering.

"That depends on what I find. Come, let us go inform the Hokage." Wait, what? My eyes widened with fear. We have to see the Hokage? Why? My voice is shaky when I speak up again.

"Why do we need the Hokage?" He gave me a reproachful look.

"I would like to converse with him before delving into your mind. If what you are saying is true, he will want to know."

"Is it a bad thing?" his eyes soften at my nervous question.

"Not if you are telling the truth," and with that we got up to leave.

"Are you sure he will have time for us? I mean, after what happened…" I trail off at the look he gives me. Off to the Hokage, then. I really didn't want to have this conversation with them. The closer we got to the looming red building, the more my knees began to shake. This was such a bad idea. Even if they believed me they would probably put this in my file.

I wouldn't normally be scared about something like that, but with Danzo and Kabuto lurking around the village, I couldn't stop my fear. Never had I been happier to have my brothers, teammates, teacher, and Yamanaka-san at my side. I fear that without them something terrible would have happened to me long ago.

I waited behind as Yamanaka-san went to the receptionist. She seemed fairly annoyed, not about seeing him, but about seeing more people who needed to see the Hokage. It must be seriously busy here right now. I felt bad that my reincarnation had been brought up now of all times. It really could wait, but Yamanaka-san didn't seem to think so.

So today I met Yamato, spent time with Sasuke, revealed I had been reincarnated, and was now about to meet the Hokage. That is way too much excitement for one day. The woman gives us one last look as she heads off down the hall, presumably to inform the Hokage of our presence. Yamanaka-san shifts his weight as if contemplating something before turning to me.

"I am going to go tell him what is going on. You will wait for me here, understand?" His tone left no room for argument. I nod my head and keep my eyes on my shuffling feet. He watches me for a moment before turning on his heel and making his way after the secretary. I couldn't stop my relief at being excluded from the coming conversation.

Left with nothing better to do, I began to examine the rooms other occupants. There were quite a few people waiting for the Hokage's ear. I imagine the unrest caused by the massacre is the reason it was so busy just then. My nervousness began to fade as boredom overtook me. I was counting the tiles on the floor when I was startled by a familiar voice.

"Suikazura! What are you doing here this late?" looking up I grin at the women.

"Hello, Kurenai. Fancy meeting you here."

"I could say the same about you. And you're avoiding my question," she replied in an exasperated voice. I hadn't seen her since I had become a Genin. It was nice to talk to her even if only for a moment.

"I'm here with Yamanaka-san. He had some business with the Hokage and I was just tagging along." She gave me a long look as if she didn't fully believe me. Yamanaka-san is one of the Intelligence Division heads, for him to be seeing the Hokage this late would usually mean something interesting if not serious. My presence must have been seen as slightly suspicious. Before she had the chance to question me further, Yamanaka-san and Ibiki-san made their way over.

"Suikazura, we can leave now." I nod my head and wave goodbye to Kurenai.

"See you in a few days." She smiles slightly as she waves back. The moment I turn and see the two of them looking at me, my eyes dart to the floor and I begin to shuffle my feet.

"We seem to be seeing too much of each other recently," Ibiki says in a loud voice.

"Sorry," I mumble under my breath.

"I have informed the Hokage of the situation and he gave the two of us the 'OK'. We will begin immediately." The nod of my head is my only response to Yamanaka-sans statement. I really didn't want to go back to the interrogation room so soon. That place was freaky. The aura around it was painful and spoke of torture of the scariest kind. Pain clung to the place like thorns would someone's hand.

As we approached the building my steps slowed in an unconscious effort to avoid the place. Ibiki seemed to notice and began to walk behind me, effectively trapping me between them. A shiver overtook my body as we entered the building; it was much cooler inside than it had been outside. I took long calming breaths as we made our way into a different room from last time.

It was not as wide or as dim lighted. There were seven chairs scattered about the room haphazardly. I was lead over to one as Yamanaka-san turned another around to face mine. I squirmed nervously in my seat. Just because there weren't any chains on this one doesn't mean it wasn't uncomfortable.

"Hold still. This will not hurt, but it will be different from last time."

"Kay." I reply quietly. With my hands folded in my lap I closed my eyes in preparation. The moment his hand made contact with my forehead I felt a tugging. Following the tug I was lead to my workshop. Yamanaka-san was not there yet so I took a seat on my chair, it was much better than the one outside. I calmed down considerably just by being in a familiar place, and was able to stop myself from jumping at Yamanaka-sans voice.

"Nice place you got here." I roll my eyes at that.

"So what did you want to see? Happy memories, sad memories, memories that prove me right?"

"I would mostly like to see memories that prove you lived another life as well as a few that prove you are from another world," I furrow my brow in thought. He should be able to tell I'm from another world by some of my memories. I nod my head to myself and get up to lead the way.

We approach one of the trees that helped make up the clearing. It was old and droopy looking, but was much stronger than it seemed. Yamanaka-san walks right up and puts his hand on it, so I just follow suit. _It was late Wednesday evening and a very familiar girl was sitting by the computer. She turns as the front door opens and her brothers and father walk in._

"_Abe, would you please take a shower? You stink," the girl says loudly in an annoyed tone of voice. The younger of the two boys glares at her, but before he has a chance to reply her father speaks._

"_Chana, people in glass houses shouldn't throw rocks." Chana visibly bristles at his words._

"_Yeah well they shouldn't walk around naked either," was her only reply. The scene swirled and we were now watching Chana and her brothers in the car with her mother. The talk was quickly interrupted by one of the boys._

"_Mommy! I have a nosebleed," rather than help him, everyone began to laugh._

"_If you don't stop laughing I'm going to rub it on the car," he yells, but the effect is ruined by how funny his voice sounds. Chana gets control of her laughter and starts rummaging around in her mother's purse for something._

"_Here this should help," she says with a bright smile as she shoves a tampon up her brother's nose. The scene again swirls and we found ourselves in a hospital. Chana was sitting on the floor with her step-sister both watching as a nurse came in to give their bedridden grandfather a shot._

_Next we were in another hospital room watching as Chana talked calmly with her bald step-mother. All the images began to blur. After her step-mother it was her father in the bed, then Chana's mother, then her uncle, her mother again, her grandmother, and then just her; Chana lay unconscious and dying after a terrible car accident._

I could not look at my broken body any longer and turned to Yamanaka-san. He was watching this all with a look of fascination on his face. He watched as Chana interacted with her family, he saw all the technology he could never comprehend, and then he saw her die. He turned to me a look of awe on his face as we pulled out of the tree of memories.

"Do you need to see any more?" I asked in a small broken voice. I had decided was no longer Chana, but her pain was still fresh in my heart. He looked like he wanted to say yes, but in the end he shook his head. He wanted to let me keep Chana private.

We both left my workshop at the same time and met each other's eyes. He believed me. I felt relief like no other fill my bones leaving only exhaustion in its wake. He and Ibiki had a low conversation before he tugged my arm to get me to stand. I stumbled a little as I followed him home.

My family asked me where I had been so late at night but I just brushed them off and headed to my room. They were worried about me but I was too tired to answer. The moment my head hit the pillows I was dead to the world.

Each day after my heart began to grow lighter. It was a long process but I could feel myself healing. Visiting Sasuke became a daily thing until he was released from the hospital. Once he was allowed to leave I would search for him almost every day for a spar. I wanted him to be around people, he needed it. I would often bring a more than eager Naruto to spar with us.

Sasuke's need for revenge was strong but it was not the only thing he focused on. I made sure of that. Naruto and I took it upon ourselves to tire him out as often as possible. By the time the school year started up they had formed a bond like no other. It was amazing to watch Naruto wheedle his way into Sasuke's heart. The boy just kept pushing and pushing until he got what he wanted.

I was glad they had grown closer, especially now that my team was beginning to pick up more missions. We had gotten some C ranked missions, but they were simple things. It was mid-October before we got our first C rank that would bring us outside village walls. I couldn't wait.

Thank you for reading this far, I hope you enjoyed. Leave a review and come again.

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


	15. Who By Sword, Who By Beast

Disclaimer: It does not belong to me.

Authors Note: I feel bad that I've gone from updating once a day to three times a month. Oh well. In this chapter they face what every Genin dreads the moment they graduate. Enjoy.

Chapter 15- Who By Sword, Who By Beast

The Hokage regarded my team seriously across the missions' room. For the past four months our team had done nothing but D-rank missions and a few C-ranks, usually involving hunting wild dangerous animals that get too close to the village. We spent most of our time training with our sensei. We covered a lot of more complicated techniques not taught in the academy as well as the beginnings of tree walking.

The results of that had been disastrous. Every time I began to channel my chakra through my feet, the tree would begin to grow and sprout leaves. After spending three weeks training to no avail Hiroshi proposed I try it with shoes on. I had smacked my head with embarrassment at not having thought of that.

"Today we have another C-rank for you, team one," the Hokage began. As bad as it sounded, I had been enjoying our C-ranks so far. They gave me a chance to practice my skills on an enemy I didn't need to worry about killing. Kiyoshi was silently cheering at the news of another.

"This one will be different than the others you have experienced," he continues drawing in our attention.

"You will be escorting a merchant to the port city down south where he is to be receiving his wares. After that your team will guard him and his merchandise back to Konoha." That was new alright.

Aoba-sensei approached the desk to receive the missions scroll. As we left the room he motioned us to meet him at the training grounds. Once there he had us sit down and lectured us on the proper items to bring. This had all been covered in our academy education, but now he went into more detail telling us the things we can leave out, and the extra things we might need.

He was very thorough with his list, drilling it into our heads, before he sent us home to pack and inform our guardians. The boys headed off in the direction of the orphanage as I made my way home. I went through sensei's list in my head before throwing in a pair of shoes for good measure.

When in the village I barely ever bothered, but if we were to be leaving I didn't want to leave a bad impression on anyone by refusing proper foot ware. Besides I would need them if I wanted to practice tree walking, and the weather was really starting to get too cold for my usual bare-footedness.

My mother was less than happy to know that I would be leaving for a few weeks. She gave me curt answers and her brow was furrowed in an unhappy frown. I sighed in annoyance at her, before heading to the gates early. Kotetsu and Izumo were often found there on gate duty, and I wanted to get a chance to talk to them before leaving.

"Hey guys, what's up?" I call out to them as I make my way over.

"Just the usual boring stuff," Kotetsu says with a sigh.

"You look like you're leaving," Izumo states rather plainly. I grin at them as I shift my pack on my shoulders.

"Today we got another C-rank. I'll be gone for more than a few days. I already told mom, but dad wasn't there. Would you guys tell him I said 'bye'?" they nod in unison before smiling at me.

"Our little baby growing up so fast, already leaving the village on her first big adventure," Kotetsu says in an over dramatic voice.

"I'm worried about leaving my senile old brother, but I have to do what I have to do. Money doesn't earn itself you know," I tell them, playing along. Izumo loses it first as his snort quickly turns to full blown laughter.

"Alright alright, you win this round. But be careful okay?" Kotetsu says worriedly.

"I'll be fine. I've got a great team and an awesome sensei," they nod and smile at me.

"Besides I'm nothing to sneeze at either," I add in pompously, causing another round of laughter.

"Can you guys tell Sasuke where I am? I don't have time to wait for his classes to end and I didn't want to pull him out." they both agree to tell him, a look of understanding in their eyes. We continued to chat until I felt the approach of my teammates. Sighing heavily I slip on my shoes.

"Wow Suikazura, I can't believe you got all dressed up for the occasion," Kiyoshi says staring pointedly at my feet. An eye roll was the only answer he got.

Our conversation paused when sensei arrived with the client. The man was not very intimidating at all. He was short, probably around 5'4, and, though he wasn't fat, he had the extra pudge of a man living in comfort.

"Hello you three, your sensei was just telling me about you. My name is Tomio, it's nice to meet you, please take care of me," he says with a large smile. We all smile back and introduce ourselves to him.

"The mission is a simple escort and guard. It should take no longer than three weeks at most," Aoba-sensei explains to us before continuing in lecture mode.

"Can any of you tell me why this is considered C-rank?"

"Is it because of the possibility of bandits going after the merchandise we will be guarding?" came Hiroshi's hesitant answer.

"Are you asking me or telling me?" sensei asks, causing Hiroshi to furrow his brow in annoyance. Before he can reply though, Kiyoshi pipes in.

"Telling you of course. Any mission that has a possibility of injury, no matter how small, must be classified above D-rank."

"Oh my, Kiyoshi, I never would have guessed you were paying attention during our lesson," he bristles at my comment.

"Of course I was paying attention," he replies with a huff.

"Well then your acting skills must be top notch because you sure fooled me with all that snoring," I trail off at the end as I move to hide behind a laughing Hiroshi. The booming laughter of our client reminded me that this wasn't team practice.

"It seems this trip will be a fun," Tomio-san says cheerily. I sigh in relief, glad that he didn't take offense at our flippant behavior.

"Suikazura, it would be good to remember your surroundings when outside the village," sensei reprimands me. I could tell he wasn't actually angry, just trying to keep me in line. Fooling around is alright, but there is always a time and a place. If I were to ever find myself on a higher ranked mission I would have to watch my behavior at all times, especially when I didn't have sensei around to keep me in check.

"Yes sensei. I'll be sure to put more effort towards it. I apologize if I offended you any, Tomio-san," I say sincerely. Tomio-san waves my apology off.

"Nonsense, you did nothing wrong." I smile up at him in reply, for even if he is short, I am much shorter.

"As nice as this chat is, we should probably leave before the day's end," Kiyoshi not so politely informs us.

"He his right. Does everybody have everything?" at our collective nod he continues, "alright then, let's be off." And with that I waved to my brothers and left the village. We walked at civilian pace so that Tomio-san could keep up, and soon found he was great traveling company.

He was grounded in Konoha with his wife and two daughters, but often traveled all around fire country for his merchandise. Much of his merchandise was used to make ninja gear. He spent his time pulling together resources needed to make the strongest and sturdiest of materials. It was surprising to find how dependant we were on his business.

There were of course other merchants who made our supplies, but he was one of the few that lived in Konoha itself. Apparently his business was generations old, meaning he had the same connections as his great-grandparents and had only expanded since then. If this man was so important, why then had our lowly team of Genin been chosen as his escort?

Unless the Hokage thought us capable of doing our job properly; that was a humbling thought. Our team was definitely not the worst, but I never would have thought we were good enough to do a mission like this. We were too inexperienced. What if something went wrong, or we did something stupid and Tomio-san brought his business elsewhere.

All this worrying is ridiculous and will get me nowhere, I firmly tell myself. Tomio-san is not petty and would never do something like that because of some stupid Genin. Perhaps the Hokage was testing how far our training had taken us by giving us a challenging mission. The thought that the Hokage believed in us enough to entrust us with this had me nervous.

Even while lost in thought I had been paying attention to my surroundings, which is why I was not surprised when sensei spoke up from beside me.

"Calm down Suikazura. I would not have offered our team for this mission if I did not think you three were up to it." How sensei always knew what was bothering me was beyond my knowledge, but the words he spoke were comforting none the less. If Aoba-sensei thought we could handle it then I had nothing to worry about. He trained us and knew well our limits and abilities, the Hokage trusted his judgment. And even if something came up that we could not handle, we had sensei with us to fall back on.

"Thanks," I tell him quietly, in a rare moment of sincerity. He smiles lightly and rests a hand on my shoulder.

"It's what I'm here for," he says with equal sincerity. And with that he left me for the front of our party to talk with Hiroshi. I was glad he left quickly. He was comforting to have around, but I had never been comfortable with physical contact.

He understood and respected that which is why he was one of the few people I felt comfortable being around. It was strange to think that I was actually older than him. Had I not died I would be thirty, what a daunting thought. It was even worse to realize that I got along fine with a bunch of thirteen year olds.

We set up camp and hour before dusk, leaving us with enough time to set a fire before the darkness settled in. Sensei sent us out to hunt for dinner, seeing no reason to break into our emergency rations when there was no emergency. We stuck together only getting the necessary food for dinner and tomorrow morning so as not to waste the wildlife.

"Guys, I'm kind of nervous," Kiyoshi tells us quietly as we were making our way back to camp at a slow pace. Hiroshi nodded his head in agreement.

"Yeah, I can't stop the 'what if's' that keep running through my head," he says glumly.

"Sensei told me that he suggested it be our team to take on this mission," I chime in.

"They're placing too much faith in us!" Kiyoshi says in a frustrated voice. A part of me wanted to be insulted by his words that indicated we weren't up for the job, but a larger part of me agreed with him.

"Then we can't let them down," I tell them firmly. My words held a confidence I lacked but it seemed to have the desired effect as Kiyoshi's eyes light up with determination.

"Do you really think we can do it?" Hiroshi asks, still seeking affirmation. I pause and think, really _think_ about it, and nod my head.

"Yes. This only seems harder than it should be because we have never been on this type of mission. Regardless the client, this is still just a C-rank. I think the most opposition we can expect to come across is bandits; otherwise it would have a higher rank. Tomio-san can certainly pay for a higher rank." They both nod and calm down at the logic behind my words.

"Still though, aside from it being a regular C-rank, the client is important. Why do you think they would have given this to us?" Hiroshi asks thoughtfully.

"Maybe it's just time for us to move on to the next level. Think about it, we've been doing D-rank and easier C-rank for a while now. They don't want us to be content with that. Maybe they are giving us a taste at what more is out there, maybe they are trying to encourage us to get better." Not many people get to see Kiyoshi's thoughtful side. Heck it had been so long since I'd seen him this serious and thoughtful that I almost forgot that this side of him existed.

"Maybe," Hiroshi says. The conversation was getting too tense. It was all speculation but truth rang in Kiyoshi's words. It scared me, and the fact that being entrusted with this mission made me want to get stronger, scared me even more. Was I really so easily manipulated?

"Maybe we are just thinking into it too much," I say dismissively in a cheery tone that belied my thoughts. The mood changed as we began to discuss Tomio-san. It was the general consensus that he was pretty cool. Though we had not spoken it aloud, I knew that the three of us had made the same promise to ourselves. We would see this mission through to the best of our abilities, leaving no doubt about our teams capabilities.

We set out early the next morning hoping to travel a good distance before stopping for lunch. The day passed quickly, but no matter how easy it had been so far the three of us were determined not to let our guard down. We kept constant watch on our surroundings and every time we stopped for a break I would slip off a shoe and put up with the cold ground long enough to make sure there was no threat waiting outside our reach.

Sensei noticed our behavior and we caught him smiling and nodding approvingly at us. A bubble of pride rose inside my chest. Sensei thought we were doing a good job, heck he was even smiling about it. His silent approval felt good, and I could tell it affected the boys in a similar fashion; instead of waiting to be assigned our watches they volunteered, eager to be of use. A little trust goes a long way, I think to myself with a snort.

It was during our third day of travel that we came across our first encounter with an enemy, and it was weird. We had been slowing our pace looking for a suitable place to set camp for the night, when we were accosted by some highway bandits. We all noticed their presence long before they made an effort to make themselves known.

We fell silent and looked to sensei for instructions. He seemed to think a moment before motioning us to continue as we had been. The men all had low leveled chakra and would not be a real threat to us; maybe that was why sensei let us continue. Tomio-san had spent much time in the company of Shinobi and noticed the exchange and our subdued behavior.

"Do not worry you three. I'm sure you will be fine," he says with a large smile. How pathetic was I that I had to be comforted by my client! Thoroughly disgusted with myself I raise my head and decide to face this like I face everything else: head on. The boys unconsciously took their cues from me and straightened their shoulders as well. I could have sworn I saw sensei roll his eyes.

The bandit seemed to feel no need for secrecy; instead they used their large weapons and tall stature for intimidation tactics. It didn't really work. There were seven of them, all large and tough looking, and I knew without a doubt that I would be able to take them all down by myself.

Yes they were strong and large but we were fast and knew where to hit for maximum damage. We could take them down without even using our Jutsu; in fact we wouldn't even need our weapons. It was disgruntling to be opposed by someone that I clearly outmatched. It felt empowering to know how much stronger I was, yet at the same time I was scared that I would begin to see every enemy like this.

If I lose my humility then I will overestimate myself or underestimate a strong opponent in the future. That terrified me. Underestimating someone is one of the most fatal mistakes a Shinobi can make. I chewed on the inside of my lip and pushed my thoughts aside. The man in front of the group of bandits began to speak.

"Hand over your packs and we may just spare your lives," his voice was hard as if he expected nothing less than to be obeyed. It pissed him off something good when Kiyoshi sneered at him and replied," leave our presence and we may just spare _yours_."

It gave me the completely insane urge to giggle, but I settled for biting my lip harder. He noticed my subtle movement and turned his glance to me and grew even angrier. He must be used to people bowing to his every whim and, had I been an unprotected civilian, I probably would have just dropped my stuff and hightailed it out of there.

His men were all glaring as well, not a one without his hand on his weapon. Their stances were all shifting as they prepared for a battle. Hiroshi glared at Kiyoshi and me for instigating before he too readied himself for the inevitable battle. Sensei seemed content to stay out of it and watch, and the only reason I caught the twitch of his lips was because he was to my right on Tomio-sans other side.

Before our confrontation had a chance to turn into a battle one of the men in the back of the bandits group ran up and tugged at the leader's sleeve. They spoke quietly so as to stop us from hearing but we didn't miss a single word.

"Arai-sama it's dangerous!"

"What are you talking about boy?" the man asked gruffly.

"Those are ninja, see the headbands?" at the others' words Arai looked towards us and finally noticed our garb. It seemed to make him uneasy.

"Are you sure? They just look like a bunch of brats to me." The man nodded his head and Arai seemed to take his word for it. He straightened and turned to look at us again.

"Consider yourselves lucky. We have important business to attend to and so we shall spare your lives," he says graciously as if he was bestowing a great honor upon us. Kiyoshi visibly bristled at his dismissal and as the closest to him I pushed his shoulder to stop anything he would have said. The group of bandits gave us one last glance before they nodded their heads at us and left.

"Well that was weird," I say as if commenting on the weather.

"Not really. They recognized that you three are dangerous and left so as not to get hurt or killed," sensei told us in lecture mode. I frowned at his words, my thoughts from before resurfacing.

"We could have totally kicked their butts so why are you frowning?" Kiyoshi asked. I glanced up to see them all looking at me curiously but only turned to address sensei.

"Aoba-sensei, why did you let us handle that?" he looks at me and thinks about his words before speaking them.

"To give you all experience with something you will come across often as a Shinobi." I began to grow agitated as he misunderstood the reason behind my question.

"Why did you let us handle that even after knowing how badly we outclassed them?" Kiyoshi looks at me confusedly and Hiroshi frowns, deep in thought.

"Does it bother you to know how much stronger you are? I thought that was why you trained: to be strong." Sensei says his face unreadable. Mine on the other hand was an open book. They watched as irritation battled with fear. I could see how my fear set the boys on edge, but I was too wrapped in this conversation to care.

"Yes it bothers me to know that I am strong, because what if I forget that I am weak? What if I begin to overestimate myself? I'll end up dead faster than you can say 'Hokage'." Irritation won out and my words had a sharp edge to them. Hiroshi's eyes widened in understanding and he too looked at sensei, expectant.

"Do not worry about such things; I have no intention of letting you three get too cocky. I would however like to remind you to stay realistic. Do not let your fear of being overconfident blind your reasoning. If you are unable to see your own strengths then you cannot get stronger. Do you three understand what I am saying?"

We looked up at him, fascinated. It made sense but…

"I understand the importance of knowing our own strengths and weaknesses but how do we know where to draw the line? How do we hold ourselves between the two extremes?" I asked all irritation gone from my voice replaced by curiosity. However, it was not sensei who answered my question, but Kiyoshi.

"Well why do you think we're here? If I ever see you getting cocky I'll just beat the crap out of you!" he tells me cheerily. It was immature, but exactly what I needed. I smirk up at him, much calmer now.

"I'll hold you to it," and resting an arm on Hiroshi's shoulder I continue, "and Hiroshi and I will give you the same courtesy." My smile was not nearly as scary as Hiroshi's was at the thought of beating Kiyoshi up. Tomio-san's laughter brought us back to reality before our conversation would turn into a full out brawl.

"Your team is by far one of the most entertaining I have had the pleasure to travel with," he told us with a bright smile.

"Now that that is settled, I believe we should continue traveling for a while before settling down for the night. I'd like to put some distance between us and those bandits in case they decide to turn around." We all agree with sensei and continued towards our destination even after the night had set in. It was cold, but we all had proper gear. By the time we felt we made enough progress I eagerly slipped into my sleeping bag, content to stay warm until my morning watch.

The next two days passed in similar fashion with only one other confrontation with bandits that unfolded much like the other. It was late afternoon on the fifth day when we finally came across the city. It wasn't exactly crowded, just busy. The people worked in a flurry of fast movements, rushing through their lives.

We looked at all the shops and attractions with wide eyes as we followed Tomio-san down to the docks. He wanted to let them know he was in the city and would be waiting, before he made himself comfortable in an inn. I couldn't help but admire his dedication towards his job.

We settled with one large room for the five of us rather than going through the complexities that multiple rooms would require, such as 'who sleeps with who'. I didn't mind as long as I could sleep away from everyone else. Dinner was a nice affair; we all got along fairly well.

"My ship should be arriving at some point tomorrow. I don't quite know when. I think it would be a good idea to leave the morning after. It should not take too long to prepare, especially with your assistance," Tomio-san told us as we began to settle from our meal. Sensei nods his head in agreement.

"That sounds fine," then turning to address the three of us he says," we will take turns guarding Tomio-san. It will give you a chance to experience what it's like to do guard duty without the immediate backup as well as a chance to explore the city."

Kiyoshi cheers with excitement at the prospect of exploring a new place. Hiroshi and I were excited as well, just a lot less vocal about. Looking up at sensei, I could see a fond smile touching his lips before his face becomes still again.

"I expect you all to behave as a proper Shinobi of Konoha would," he says with a pointed glance at Kiyoshi causing Hiroshi and I to laugh until he turns his gaze towards us.

"Yes sensei," we chorus cheekily at him before getting up to prepare ourselves for bed. The next morning shone bright and cloudless as we ate our breakfast and finalized our plans. Hiroshi would take first shift, Kiyoshi second, leaving me for third. Sensei would do whatever he wanted, but he assured us that he would be close by if we needed him.

It was still early, but we wanted to see as much of the city as possible before our watches in case we didn't get a chance to later. Kiyoshi and I started together but split up when our interests differed. He was off at one of the clothe shops while I was looking at all the fishing gear.

I hadn't been fishing since before I died. It was one of those things Chana's father had an irrational love towards; she had spent many a summer sitting on a lake comparing caught fish with her brothers. I didn't buy a rod, I was never very good at it, but I spent time looking at all the hooks feeling a strong sense of nostalgia.

I walked around for a while longer just watching the people go about their daily lives. It made me feel distant, like I was missing out on something, and I was. I was missing the simple life, the easy worries, but the more I thought about it the less I regretted my decision to be a ninja. I may have been missing out, but I had had gained so much more.

It left me feeling content. Kiyoshi found me at a hair accessory shop and told me he was going to go find Tomio-san for his shift. A little while later Hiroshi found me and we walked together as he told me about the docks. Apparently Tomio-san was staying in that area so he would be on hand when his shipment came in.

Hiroshi eventually wandered away leaving me on my own again. With nothing left to explore and my boredom growing, I headed down to the shore with the hopes of finding something to do there. The beach was empty, swimsuit weather having left long ago, but I enjoyed my solitude.

Those past five days I had spent all my time in the company of others; it was nice to have a quiet moment to myself. Well, as quiet as it can get with the rushing waves pushing and pulling at all in its path. It was a soothing sound and lulled me into a trance. I stayed like that for longer than I thought I would and got up to leave when I realized my shift would be starting in forty minutes.

My pace was slow as I headed toward the docks, but even at my sedated pace I would still be very early. Sitting on one of the rails I was content to watch the hustle and bustle of the sailors and workers as they went about their business. One ship in particular caught my attention. I could make out Tomio-san and Kiyoshi helping set up a bridge so the supplies could be brought to the dock.

So the shipment had arrived, guess I'll be busy, I think to myself. If I was to be doing something distracting while I guarded it would be a good idea to know more about the docks layout. I began to circle around making note of the other workers in the area as well as the people who were coming off of some of the ships.

By the time I had finished my thorough sweep of the surroundings it was time for my shift. I walked up to join Kiyoshi and waved him off to enjoy his evening, seamlessly taking his place amongst the workers. One of them jumped in surprise when he turned and saw me waiting to take the crates off his hands.

I quickly explained myself as one of Tomio-san's guards; he nodded and went back to work. I began piling the crates so that I could lift them and walk them down to dock when Tomio-san finally noticed my presence.

"Ah, hello Suikazura. Is it that time already?" I smile kindly at his absentmindedness.

"Yes. I sent Kiyoshi back a few moments ago. I figured I should help unload. Is there anything specific you need me to do?" the gleam in his eye showed me I should have kept my mouth shut. I soon found myself carrying all of the boxes too heavy for the sailors who soon found themselves gaping open mouthed at the little girl carrying things that they would often need multiple men to bring to dock.

"I have lost all confidence as a man," I heard one of them mutter dejectedly. His friend only patted him comfortingly on the back nodding ashamedly, at a loss for words. Rolling my eyes at their antics I continued my work quickly losing track of time. By the time we finished unloading everything I had barely broke a sweat.

Sensei came to get us as we were finishing organizing the stuff for tomorrow mornings pick up. Tomio-san looked exhausted and was more than happy to head back to the inn for dinner and a good night's sleep. The next morning we got up bright and early hoping to be on the road well before noon.

The five of us made quick work of all the merchandise, tucking it neatly into the wagon we would be carrying it with. We set the horses to it and left the waking city behind. The pace was faster than before but we had to take more breaks so as not to tire the horses out too quickly.

We became alert quickly and were much more wary of other travelers. Yes there were ninja guarding the wagon, but in this case many would think the results outweigh the risk. This theory was proven correct on our second day of travel as we were approached by another band of bandits.

We had stopped at a river at midday to water the horses when we felt them approaching. Tomio-san knew the drill and immediately climbed inside the wagon, keeping low in case they had any archers with them. Sensei had us take a defensive position with one of us on each side of the wagon.

"I will take the back and will only interfere if I think you need it. Do not hold back and do not hesitate," were sensei's words to us before he disappeared to the back. We nodded to him and took our places. I was at the front with Kiyoshi to my right and Hiroshi to my left.

We waited silently for them to come out of the trees to my front-left. I shuffled my feet impatiently and picked a spot on the ground. I would not attack if they stayed on that side, but if they crossed over then their life was forfeit. Nodding as if to reassure myself of my decision, I glance at the edge of the forest.

There were six of them in total and they ran about with no coordination whatsoever. They didn't even bother with words before rushing into battle. We all had orders to stick to our sides and I could feel Kiyoshi shuffling on the other side in impatience as Hiroshi and I began to fight.

It was sickeningly easy especially after I let one by me for Kiyoshi to fight. We took them down quickly, a kunai here, a shuriken there. It took me a moment to remember to fight to kill, but I did. I killed three men. And I felt nothing. My hands shook as I pulled my kunai out of one man's body, and still: nothing.

It scared me. One of the signs of schizophrenia is an emotional distance of sorts. I had experienced it before having suffered from schizophrenia in my past life for four years, and this was definitely emotional distance. It's not like they leave you; they are still there, but they just don't quite reach you. Similar to swimming up but never being able to break the surface.

Sensei's comforting hand on my shoulder brought me out of my thoughts. Looking up I could see both Hiroshi and Kiyoshi trying to deal with this as well. It wasn't unexpected, we had been training for this since we were six, but to kill a person was something that just seems so wrong. I watched both of their scrunched up faces as they came to terms with what they had done and would continue to do until it was done to them.

"Are you three alright?" sensei asks in a low tone. I take a shaky breath before answering.

"Yes, well, we will be," I say sounding confused. The boys look up at my reply and nod their heads uncertainly. And with that we continued on our way. No tears, no tantrums, no life altering decisions, just one life altering moment. Perhaps it will define who we become; perhaps it will have no effect. Either way, death was now a firm presence in our lives.

We were not attacked again, being too close to Konoha for most of the bandits out there. Our pace was slower than it had been the past two days; I think sensei was trying to give us time away from people so that this could really sink in, so that we could really get over it. Gratitude was one of the few emotions I was feeling right then.

I was grateful that this was something our team did at the same time, together. Had just one us killed that day it would have altered the team dynamics, all the pressure being pushed on the one who had experienced that. Had two of us killed that day, we would have dreaded the day the third would join our ranks as one who had killed.

Because all three of us had killed at the same time we were able to deal with it together, grieve over it together, comfort each other and get over it together. Because we had done it at the same time, we could move on at the same time. We may be more psychologically messed up than ever before, but we were messed up as a team and would get better as a team. And so, without even knowing it, our team passed one of the most important tests a Genin will face.

The closer we got to the gates the more my excitement grew. We had only been gone twelve days, but it had felt like so much more. Right then I wanted nothing more than to go home. We checked in with the gate guards and then escorted Tomio-san to his warehouse. Waving goodbye with a promise of visiting we set off towards Hokage tower.

After reporting a mission complete we were given the necessary paperwork and sent on our way. Sensei bid us farewell and told us to have the paperwork done as soon as possible. All of us were eager to go home, even if home was just an orphanage for the boys. I walked home slowly deep in thought.

What if my family could tell? What if my parents were disgusted with me? What if they made me quit being a ninja? What if they were scared of me? I bit my lip on that last one, trying to calm myself. It would be fine, they wouldn't know, and I wasn't going to tell them.

My brothers would understand having been in the same position themselves. My parents were happy to see me and welcomed me with open arms. My mother told me how she was worried about me. My father told me how he spent the past week and a half calming my mother down. They sat me at the kitchen table and asked innocent questions about my mission.

And I told them how it was, editing out the parts that would surely make my mother faint. We snacked on food as we spoke and the familiar surroundings were so comforting it hurt. I had killed a man and here I was in need of comfort. What about their families? Did they have families?

I would never know because they walked passed that line in the dirt. I didn't regret it though. I had made my choice long ago and I would stick to it until the end, no matter how sticky it may turn out to be.

When my brothers returned home they took me on a walk. I could only assume someone had told them about the mission. We were quiet as we walked around the village without purpose.

"Are you alright Suikazura?" Izumo broke the silence.

"Yes," and my voice finally held the confidence it had been lacking. There was a note of finality. I was alright, I didn't regret it, and I was really starting to get over it.

"Of course you are! We Hagane's are made of stronger stuff than that," Kotetsu says as he ruffles my hair. We continue walking as I once again divulge the events of the past twelve days. They listen and let me talk it all out and for that I am grateful. Even if I didn't speak about how I felt about killing, I got to talk; for now that was enough.

We were on our way home when I saw the willow tree. Stretching out my roots I felt his presence there. With the most impulse I had exhibited in quite a while I told the boys to go home before me. They looked worried but left me anyway. Once they were gone from my sight I headed over to the tree and began to climb up it.

"Hey Neko-san, long time no talk," I say rather nervously after making it to the branch I had rested on last time.

"It has been a while, have you been well?" I could tell he was startled by my sudden appearance.

"I've been okay. Just got back from my longest mission yet, and you?" he took a moment before answering.

"I have been busy, but am fairing fine. Was your mission a hard one?"

"I wouldn't say _hard_ just… eventful," I could hear him chuckle at my description. It became quiet, but it was a good quiet, peaceful. I could feel my heartbeat slowing down as I really began to relax and unwind. Here under the twisted branches that felt like a giant embrace, I was finally feeling like myself again.

"Thank you, Neko-san."

"I don't know what I did, but I am glad that I could help," he replies honestly causing me to giggle. I'd like to say he was clueless because he was a guy, but that didn't really apply just then. That didn't stop me.

"Men never know what they've done, they just put up with the consequences," I say lightly.

"I can assure you that you as well carry a feature of your gender. Your ability to scare a man is quite impressive," he says rather bemusedly. It felt good to laugh. It was funny, just not _that_ funny. I laughed anyway, letting out all the emotion I had been unable to express.

I would not let myself cry so instead I laughed it all out, laughed away my sorrow until there was nothing left but genuine joy. He said nothing about my outburst and for that I was grateful. By the time night had fallen I was feeling so much better. With a resigned sigh I stood.

"I didn't mean to impose for so long. I've got to go now. See you- hear you again Neko-san, bye!" I leave the tree that was vibrating with his chuckles and began to make my way home. After letting everything out I was tired and wanted nothing more than a long nights rest. The thought of visiting Sasuke flashed through my mind momentarily and I felt guilty.

I had left without so much as a goodbye and now I was putting off seeing him in favor of sleep. I would see him tomorrow, Naruto as well. Thoughts of seeing those two had me smiling the whole way home.

This chapter was actually pretty fun to write, I hope you liked it as well. Also the title of the chapter is part of this long thingy that sounds pretty cool. If anyone wants to read the whole thing just PM me or something.


	16. Beyond the Veil

Disclaimer: Goats are like mushrooms if you shoot a duck, I'm scared of toasters. As in this does not belong to me.

Authors Note: Sorry for the wait! I hope it wasn't too bad. Please enjoy.

Chapter 16- Beyond the Veil

I spent the morning after our return making three lunch boxes. After leaving without saying goodbye I wanted to make it up to Sasuke. The mission report was still waiting to be written, but Sasuke was much more important. He was never clingy, but he liked knowing where I was. He sought me out as often as I did him.

Guests weren't really supposed to be on school grounds unsupervised, that's where being a ninja came in handy. Just by taking off my head band and letting down my hair I was able to blend right it. I quickly made my way over to the play ground where Sasuke's class was spending their lunch.

Naruto spotted me the moment I rounded the corner and barreled right into me. Sasuke, who Naruto had been talking to, ran up as well but paused right before me uncertain. Holding my arms open was all the prompting he needed as he hugged me as well.

In the book Sasuke had never been touchy feely and became even less so after the massacre. He never let himself grow attached to anyone; Naruto was his friend because he just wouldn't take no for an answer. It was strange to see how my presence had altered this. Instead of pushing us away, he held us closer.

He was still quiet and almost refused to interact with the other children, but he let us be with him. Was it because we were the only thing left? Was it because we were a constant in his life that was not taken by his brother?

"Hey guys, you miss me?" I ask them teasingly. Naruto boisterously replied with, "Yeah, Sasuke did too. He kept moping around-"and was cut off by Sasuke's punch in the arm.

"I did not," he protested loudly. Shaking my head at their antics I pull their lunches out of my bag.

"Here I made these for you two. I'm sorry I couldn't find you before leaving." Naruto was quick to forgive me when the food was offered but Sasuke was able to hold on a little longer.

"Do you guys want to hear what happened?" Naruto nods enthusiastically as Sasuke's irritation turns to burning curiosity. After we settled down I began to spin the most dramatic telling of our mission. Soon enough all anger at my sudden disappearance was forgotten as they listened to my story unfold.

The boys watched me with rapt attention as I spoke about the evil men who wanted to take the nice merchants hard earned wares. They enjoyed the flowery descriptions I gave of the port city and wanted to see the place for themselves.

In the end they settled on my recreating it on paper. My mission's report had never been so colorful. The lunch bell rang ending our time together before we were ready. I left them for the mission's desk with promises of seeing them tomorrow.

The look the Chunin at the desk gave me later that day when I finally handed my papers in was hilarious. I'd have to do something cooler next time, like an origami dog.

It was only after I got a good beating from Kurenai that afternoon that I well and truly felt at home. She was also interested in hearing how my first mission out of the village went. I was much more comfortable telling her the worries that came up during the mission.

"I feel like I should have felt worse; like I should personalize them. If I forget they are people wouldn't that make me a monster?" Kurenai took a moment to think before replying.

"You chose this life, right?"

"Yes, of course. Why?"

"Don't forget they did as well. These men you killed chose to live the life of a warrior, and to die the death of a warrior. If you feel like you shouldn't have killed for yourself, kill for your client. It is Tomio-san's life you were protecting, and by those standards you did an excellent job," Kurenai says somewhat awkwardly.

It was nice to know I wasn't the only person here who was completely unable to express their emotions. I wasn't feeling guilty, just confused. I needed her to show me the line between doing your job and being a monster. I knew I wasn't blood thirsty, but my lack of response kind of scared me.

By the time I got home and again recounted my mission to Yamanaka-san, I had become an expert at the telling. He congratulated me on a mission well done and set me to my paces. Over the past few years I had perfected my stances and speed with the Green Disposition.

That night Yamanaka-san began to incorporate even harder moves. They had me twisting and turning like a contortionist leaving me feeling like a pretzel. I was rather glad for the challenge the new moves posed.

The next morning our team fell back into the old routine of training, missions, free time. Naturally I spent all my free time with Sasuke. Even now, months after the massacre, I was scared he would do something stupid.

It was probably a bad idea to get him used to my presence especially since we were beginning to pick up missions, but I kept having mini-anxiety attacks when I didn't know where he was. It was reassuring to know that Naruto was with him, but honestly Naruto was more prone to doing stupid things than any kid I had ever known.

It was a week and a half after my return and I found myself waiting by the academy gate for the boys. I had made plans the day before to help them with their homework after finding out their grades were suffering due to too much time spent training. With me. Oops.

"Hey guys, you have all your stuff?" I ask as I see them approaching. Sasuke nods his head, but Naruto fidgets nervously.

"Actually Suikazura, I don't think I'm going to come with you tonight," he says looking down.

"Why?"

"He got invited out to ramen with Iruka-sensei," Sasuke replies before Naruto gets the chance. I had been wondering when that relationship would begin.

"Oh ok. That's fine, but what are you going to do about your homework?" Naruto brightens considerably at my words.

"I'll just copy from Sasuke tomorrow morning!" he says with a bright smile.

"No you won't," Sasuke replies.

"Yeah? Try and stop me!" Sasuke's eyes narrow at the challenge and is about to reply before I cut in.

"Alright, that's enough you two. Naruto, why don't you get your sensei to help you do your homework, because I'm kinda with Sasuke on this one." His face scrunches up in displeasure at the thought of homework ruining his ramen time.

"Come on Naruto, is it really fair to just copy all of Sasuke's hard work?" he sighs in defeat and nods his head.

"Fine, I'll get him to help me," Naruto says with a large pout. It immediately changes to anger when he notices Sasuke's victorious smirk.

"And you," I say, rounding on Sasuke, "will be doing it all on your own."

"What? But I thought you said you would help me!"

"I am. The life lesson you can gain from this is that not everything is laid in your lap. Some things, like a good grade, you have to work for," I tell him with a pointed look. He sighs heavily much like Naruto had moments before and nods his head.

"That aside if you really do need help just ask and I'll be glad to provide it." He looks up at my serious face and smiles, glad that I wasn't angry and would still help him.

"Ok," he agrees. And with that we wave good-bye to Naruto and make our way to the river bank.

My mind was occupied by all the new moves I was working on so I didn't immediately notice when Sasuke paused mid sentence. It was only when he gazed to my left that I felt the presence behind me.

I turned calmly to face the one who had interrupted us, determined not to show any surprise. A giggle almost escaped my lips when I saw the cow mask. I didn't realize they had a cow ANBU. It took a moment for me to realize that if they were an ANBU then whatever message he held came straight from the Hokage.

"Hagane Suikazura?" he asks as if he already knew the answer, which he did.

"Yes," I reply cautiously. His gaze does not waver from my face even once.

"Your presence is required in the Hokage's office," was his clipped reply. My brows furrow in confusion. Why would I be needed in his office? Only important missions were given there, and I was not of a high enough rank to be getting big missions. Unless…

"Why am I needed there?" I ask bluntly hoping he will indulge me and answer the question. His voice was irritated, but he replies all the same.

"Because the Hokage wishes to see you." Uh-Oh.

Hiruzen Sarutobi, otherwise known as the third Hokage, did not know what to do about the small girl in front of him. Many years ago when he had been informed by one of his trusted subordinates that there existed a child with an ability thought extinct, he had been very wary.

At first he had thought it was an unknown survivor of the experiment his 'lost' student had performed. After speaking this thought to Inoichi Yamanaka, his informant, the very idea had been eliminated. The child in question had been born over six years after the incident, making the possibility of her surviving it impossible.

Sarutobi had thought long and hard about the information he gathered from Inoichi that night. The girl was both quiet and loud, knowing when both were expected of her and acting upon it. Apparently she was almost as perceptive and aware of the people around her as some of those who worked for Inoichi.

This information had understandably put him on edge. There was a smart and perceptive child with an extinct ability living in his village. All fingers pointed toward planted spy. He wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but her existence itself was making that hard to do.

Sarutobi was confused and Inoichi's firm stance on her innocence had not helped. There was logic behind the Yamanaka's argument as well. How could a six year old that had been born and raised in the village, never having left it, be a spy? Not knowing what to make of the situation, Sarutobi had Inoichi continue to watch after the girl.

Not a year later he was again approached by Inoichi; this time the man was emitting worry from every pore, though he hid it well. He spoke about an incident at one of his fields and how the girl had done something unfamiliar to him and caused some plants to die.

Sarutobi had been unable to fully understand what the man was saying until Inoichi used his family Jutsu to project the memory straight into Sarutobi's mind. The scene was rather worrying. What had she been attempting that would have caused such a reaction to the ground around her?

He knew, however, that she herself probably did not know. The fear and pain on her face were enough to convince him of that. The following conversation had been an unpleasant one. Inoichi believed the girl needed proper training by the only person in the village who would ever be able to help her.

But the boy, who was the newest edition to ANBU, could not be spared right then. Not only was he much too young to be teaching, but he himself was still being taught the ways of ANBU. It was with a heavy conscience that he told Inoichi that he would have to continue as he had been.

Other than a rather amusing report of panicking teachers and overgrown training fields, everything pertaining to the girl seemed to have calmed.

When a child was moved ahead in their classes it was always approved by the Hokage. As sad as it was, children were often used as spies and those that graduated early always had keen eyes watching their every move. When it came time to move Itachi Uchiha ahead, the boy's files were brought to Sarutobi's desk for approval.

The files contained information on family, friends, grades, they were so detailed that they even included places the boy most frequented. This was not uncommon, but one of the two names under friends was. It amused Sarutobi that a quiet prodigy like Itachi had the name Suikazura Hagane on the list of friends. Sarutobi tucked the information away and moved on to more important things.

Word had, just as he expected, reached the ears of Danzo. When Inoichi informed him of the ANBU level personnel following the girl without his consent or order, he knew it was time to announce her presence to the council.

After clearly stating the girl as off limits Sarutobi had sent some ANBU to personally remove the girls followers. All calmed down for a while, though he often sent someone to check on her just in case. It was only after the girl graduated that he felt he could stop sending ANBU out to check on her.

Knowing of her relationship with Inoichi, Sarutobi had chosen Aoba Yamashiro as her sensei. Aoba was part of the intelligence division and one of the men let in on the girl's delicate situation. Sarutobi felt better about her safety with Aoba keeping a closer eye on her than Inoichi was able.

With the Uchiha massacre came a bucket of problems, but the most interesting news to reach his ears was the fact that Suikazura was a reincarnation. As a friend of Itachi's she had been brought in for standard questioning to prove she had not been part of the massacre.

Sarutobi had automatically brushed off the idea of reincarnation. He was a practical man and needed facts to back up anything before he believed it. But he was also a very curious man by nature, and couldn't stop the thoughts that what Inoichi was telling him could be true.

He very much wanted to question the girl himself, but knew he would never have the time what with dealing with the massacre's aftermath. It was with a sigh of regret that he sent Inoichi and Ibiki off to see if what the girl said held truth.

Later that evening the two men had come to him with fire in their eyes as they spoke of what Inoichi had found in her head. Inoichi again used his clan Jutsu to project the memory of what he had seen, and it was enough to leave Sarutobi speechless.

The girl had obviously been telling the truth about not only being a reincarnation, but being from another world altogether. The technology he had only gotten a glimpse of was amazing. The structure of the house she had been in during the first memory was different than most seen around here.

Sarutobi was curious over which would win in a race: the car or a ninja. He had known the hospital for what it was on sight, having spent many times in one as a patient and visitor. What really intrigued Sarutobi was the girls behavior.

He had seen her many times on the other side of the mission's desk, but in those situations she was always quiet and almost hiding behind her teammates. The only reason he knew her to be loud and boisterous was because of the reports he received from Inoichi and Aoba.

In these memories she was outspoken, even abrasive at times. It had saddened him to see her broken and crumpled body as it lay in the hospital bed with no hope of recovery. The look in Suikazura's eyes as she too saw this memory twisted his heart. It was a look of pain, longing, fear, and acceptance.

How strong must a person be to die? To die and remain sane? To die and be able to move on from the life they left behind? How strong must a person be to remember dieing and still be able to live? Not just breathing and eating, but _living. _Sarutobi could feel a growing respect for the girl.

It was decided that she could continue as she had; she was a good Shinobi and reincarnation was no reason to take her off duty or lock her in an asylum. Sarutobi had to admit though, that he was very curious. He wanted to know more about this other world, more about her, but he knew it had to wait.

The village would always be top priority and so he tucked the enigma that was Suikazura Hagane away for later and set out to visit the last Uchiha. The reports on the boy had been fairly accurate. Sasuke was not completely unresponsive, but the most of a reaction he got from the boy was after questioning him about the book he was clutching so closely to his chest.

"Suikazura is letting me borrow it," was the only reply Sarutobi got. He had not realized that the girl had been close to Sasuke as well. In fact the more he asked around about the girl, the more he could see her wheedling her way into the lives of others.

It was not only Sasuke and Itachi she was friends with, but the Inuzuka heirs, as well as half of the generations under her. Sarutobi learned of her budding friendship with Kurenai Yuhei, a woman overcoming the ninja ranks fast. The most surprising of the girls acquaintances had come straight from the source; Naruto.

The boy happily spoke of the girl he called friend. Naruto told him how she had invited him to join their game personally and how she always made sure that every Dead Last was included. Naruto only ever spoke of her with deep admiration.

Sarutobi often referred to the younger generation as the will of fire, but could no longer see Suikazura as part of that. She reminded him more of the breeze that fed the flames. Like the wind she danced around touching the lives of many, giving just enough of a push in the right direction before moving on to the next one.

How could one little girl, no matter how special, have gained such an influence over the future? There was no other way to describe it. She was friends with young and old; she encouraged the children and challenged those working hard like Kurenai.

Sarutobi thought the girls name fitting for, just like a weed, she was quickly rooting herself in his village. His curiosity was burning brighter than any flame, fueled by years of unanswered questions. This was how Sarutobi found himself sitting in his office with said girl.

She had never been alone with him and seemed extremely uncomfortable, constantly fiddling with her bangs trying to cover her face in a nervous gesture. Sarutobi decided to take pity on the girl and spoke first.

"Good evening, Suikazura. I hope I haven't interrupted anything important?" She looked up, an incredulous expression on her face.

"I can assure you it was nothing as important as a talk with the Hokage," she said before clamping her mouth shut as if worried he may get upset over her casual way of speaking to him. Despite what she may think, Sarutobi was actually quite amused by her response and it showed in the smile he gave her.

"You bring up a good point," he says with a light chuckle. She seemed to calm when she realized that he was un-offended. Leaning forward in his seat, Sarutobi decided to move past the pleasantries.

"I assume you know why you are here, correct?"

"Um, sorta? Is it something to do with my ability? Or is it the whole reincarnation thing? Unless it's both…" she trails off. She sounded so unsure.

"I must admit I am very curious about both. Your ability greatly resembles the Jutsu used by the first Hokage, however, the ability is supposed to be extinct. That and the fact that it is indeed something different, no matter how small that difference is, makes you what is called a First. Do you know what that is?" She seemed confused before catching on.

"Is that someone with an ability that does not come from an established clan?"

"Correct. Being a first can be dangerous. There have been more than you may think. The thing is no clan likes the idea of new bloodlines popping up under their very noses. Sadly, because of this, not many last," her eyes were wide at the meaning behind the Hokage's words. Suikazura looked away from the Hokage's eyes, clearly disturbed.

"I have, for the most part been able to keep your existence on the down low. However there are those even I cannot stop. You remember when you had been followed?" Sarutobi asked intent on giving her as much information about her situation as possible. Suikazura nodded her head to show she remembered, but kept silent content on letting the Hokage do the talking.

"A man by the name of Danzo sent his men to watch you. He used to be the leader of an organization called Root, often taking talented young children under his wing," Sarutobi began.

"Used to?" the girl asked, confused by his wording.

"The organization was disbanded," was the Hokage's reply.

"But if it was disbanded like you said, why would he have been interested in me?" The Hokage gave her a grim smile before answering.

"To the onlooker it has been disbanded, but the truth is that they are still in existence." Suikazura's eyebrows furrow in thought.

"This may seem a little off topic, but why are you telling me all this Hokage-sama? Wouldn't someone get upset that I know all of this?" The Hokage smiled at her with a mischievous glint in his eye as he replied.

"There are many who would be absolutely outraged that I was telling you all of this." The corner of the girls mouth twitched in amusement before she once again had control over her expression.

"If that is true then why _are_ you telling me all of this?"

"I cannot always be watching you to make sure you are safe. Even your sensei is unable to be with you at all times. I do not like burdening you with the information that you are not safe even inside your village, it is the place you should be able to let your guard down. But the truth is that you may have to keep yourself safe when no one else is able, and how would you do that without knowledge of the existing threat?"

"I understand, thank you Hokage-sama," the girl says, not meeting his eyes as she gazes at her lap. Sarutobi had thought long and hard about how much information he would give her. Because she was older the chance of Danzo kidnapping her at this point were close to none, but he felt she needed to know that even if she was not in danger of being kidnapped she was still being watched. Not as closely as before, but watched all the same.

He knew that he was probably leaving her with more questions than answers, but he could not divulge any more information. He would not tell her of the type of training she would have had to go through, nor the type of missions she would have been sent on; he did not want to scare her.

He was glad that the girl was able to understand the delicacy of her situation. Sarutobi was also happy that she did not feel the need to ask more questions. It was odd that she didn't but he did not think more on it.

"There is one more thing I would like to discuss with you tonight," the Hokage said, with a glint in his eye. She looked confused for a moment before she smiled nervously in understanding.

"About my reincarnation?"

"Yes. I find it all very intriguing. You must stop me if I ask anything too personal. I'm afraid I cannot control myself when it comes to learning new things."

"Don't worry I won't get offended, I have brothers," was her reply. Sarutobi could not stop the laughter at her insinuation that she was immune to being offended because of her brothers. He had of course spoken with them on many occasions, and knew them to be a handful.

"Well then if you don't mind my asking, how old were you when you died?"

"Um, seventeen."

"And you remember everything?"

"Yes."

"Then would that make you thirty mentally?" Her eyes widen as she looks up at Sarutobi surprised.

"I didn't realize I was that old already…" he raised an eyebrow at her response and smiled when she clapped her hands over her mouth as if to take back her words.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to imply that thirty was old, especially when you must be much older- I mean, you aren't-"she paused and took a long steadying breath before lowering her head and looking at her lap.

"I am very sorry Hokage-sama, please forgive my loss of control over my tongue," she said seriously, face completely red. Sarutobi did not even hear her last apology, too caught up in his laughter.

"I am not offended. I have heard much worse, but alas we are off topic."

"Sorry," she got in one final time.

"Tell me, as a baby, were you perfectly aware?" he asked. She took a moment to think over her answer before replying.

"Yes my mind was my own. The real thing that threw me off was being in a smaller body. I couldn't see and I couldn't really move. Everything around me was so big," she spoke with a faraway look in her eyes. Sarutobi sat silently waiting for her to continue.

"It was weird. My brain had yet to develop, but there I was with things on my mind no child could understand. I knew how to talk and how to move, but my body would not listen. It was as if my whole body had been rewired. It took me years to relearn everything." Sarutobi watched her as she spoke and was slightly amazed at the change in her.

Her physical appearance was that of a thirteen year old, but he could see every year her mind had to boast through her eyes. Sarutobi had many more questions he wanted to ask her, but a glance out the window had him sending her home instead.

"As much as I wish to continue this conversation it is getting late, and your parents will be worried if you do not get home soon," he says ruefully. Suikazura blinked and looked out the window as well only then noticing how late it had gotten.

"Before you go, however, I must apologize for how long it has taken me to approach you. We should have sat down to talk like this long before now."

"That's okay, Hokage-sama. Had you spoken with me any time before now I'd have thought you were going to put me in an institute or jail or something." Sarutobi could understand her thinking she would be sent to an institute, but wanted to know why she thought she could be sent to jail.

"Jail?" she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"I'm paranoid by nature and after the whole thing with Itachi…" she trailed off. Sarutobi's eyes softened when he realized what had had her so worried.

"Itachi acted on his own. That was proven when you were questioned." She smiled sadly at him and nodded her head. Even after all this questioning, Sarutobi still felt like she was hiding something.

"If something bothers you, please feel free to see me about it in the future."

"Thank you," she tells him with a smile as she gets out of her seat.

"Goodnight," he says as she makes her way out of his office. A muffled 'night' came from the other side of the door. Sarutobi settled comfortably back in his chair, prepared for a long night of paper work.

Well that could have gone worse, I tell myself as I make my way out of the big red mansion. I was rather surprised when he actually told me about Root, but none of what he said was new to me.

Most of the time he had seemed more interested in the reincarnation itself, never asking about the world I came from. I was grateful he hadn't. No matter how good a liar I was, I was pretty sure he would have caught on.

It was relieving to have a blunt conversation with him. We were both able to acknowledge each other. Before I had been too scared of his reaction to bring anything up in front of him, but now that we had spoken he felt more approachable.

He no longer felt like the bad guy which made life just a little bit easier. Before I knew it, I was at home in bed fast asleep.

I feel like this was one of those chapters where nothing happened but something happened. Oh well. Hope you enjoyed, tell me what you thought.

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


	17. Bond

Disclaimer: I do not own.

Authors Note: I give you *drumroll* the next chapter! Enjoy.

Chapter 17- Bond

Being a teenager sucks. After having that talk with the Hokage I was expecting to wake up feeling refreshed and ready for another day, and I did. Then I looked in the mirror. Pimples, the bane of my existence, were there to greet me.

Sadly enough I did not have the time to sit and mope about things I couldn't help, and got dressed as fast as I could. My shirt gave me some trouble as I tried to fit it on. My pants and skirt came next and with that I was out of the house in a flurry of motion.

It was only after I got half way down the block that the cold hit my bare feet. Turning back to the house to get my shoes I resigned myself to being late. By the time I made it to our usual training field the boys were already there.

Hiroshi waved me over to their spot where they were discussing how we should go about training that morning. It was not uncommon for sensei to be absent from our training sessions. He tried to be here as often as possible to help us improve, but he was a Jonin and was needed for other things as well.

We were allowed to take missions without him, but nothing higher than a D-rank. If sensei wasn't here by now it was safe to assume he wouldn't make it. After warm-ups we had a race around the village. To keep variety in our training we did different things every day.

Some days we spar and others we go back to basic positions and movements. When we were given a task to accomplish, like tree climbing, we usually just ignored each other and worked on it separately. Last week sensei brought up water walking which is what we started practicing after our run.

Falling into cold water was a good motivator for us. Every time we failed we got a nice chilly dip that none of us wanted to repeat. I was at the point where I could stand on water, but moving too fast had me falling. Even lifting my feet had me swimming so the only way to move was by gliding. It looked like I was ice skating, something I had never mastered in my past life.

Hiroshi was making much faster progress than Kiyoshi or I. His efficiency with this sort of thing was cool before it got annoying. An idea popped in my head as I began to inch closer to the oblivious boy.

Kiyoshi, who was climbing back onto the riverbank, caught my eye and grinned. He rose out of the water and went back to work so as not to raise suspicion. My movements were slow as I tried not to alert Hiroshi of my ever approaching presence, as well as a safety precaution to stop myself from plummeting into the water.

He was a few inches taller than me by that point, but that was fine. I held my breath and put my mouth right behind his ear. Preparing myself for a violent reaction, I spoke.

"Boo!" Just a whisper and he was ten feet in the air. The moment he saw it was me he prepared a punch. Good thing my chakra took that moment to fail me, causing me to drop below the water's surface before he got a chance to hurt me.

When I resurfaced it was to the scene of Hiroshi chasing a giggling Kiyoshi all around the training field. My laughter had them both turning to face me.

"I will get you back," Hiroshi said, face serious and with such a tone of conviction in his voice. Oh it was on. That day marked the beginning of our favorite game. We liked to call it 'Boo'. The way to play the game was to do everything in your power to scare one or both of your teammates witless.

For the first week we had no boundaries. Sensei had to interfere after we got banned from one of the local food stalls. It hadn't been our intention to light that stool on fire but, as they say, don't cry over spilt milk.

Everything seemed to settle into a comfortable routine, training being the focal point of my life. Sometimes it really felt like I needed a hobby. I love reading, and though I hadn't really searched too hard, most of the books here didn't really interest me.

I often found myself with nothing to do. Extra training had crossed my mind, but I just didn't want to. There was a time and place for it and I didn't want training to rule my life. That was how I found myself sitting in my backyard, stubbornly refusing to do anything.

It only took ten minutes before I started twitching. These past ten years or so I had always been in constant motion, always training, running, playing, working. It had been a long time since I had just sat down to think. What was there to think about?

My shirts had been tight around the chest recently; I should probably buy better fitting ones. And… that was it. I sit down to think and all I can do is come up with a shopping list. How pathetic is that? I stand with a sigh of defeat, preparing to head out to the training field, when loud giggling interrupted my thoughts.

The noise was coming from the Yamanaka's side of the fence. I walked up to it cautiously, ready to back away if I was intruding on a family event or something, and peaked over the edge. Sakura and Ino sat at a small table obviously meant for children, having what appeared to be a tea party.

"Hey guys. Do you have room for one more?" Well it was better than coming up with shopping lists. After their initial shock at seeing me they were ecstatic at the thought of more company. A poor teddy bear got evicted from his seat to make room for me.

I didn't talk much, instead listening to the girls chat away about their teachers, Sasuke, their classes, Sasuke, a mean girl in their grade, Sasuke, oh and did I mention Sasuke? What they had for him was beyond a crush, it was infatuation through and through.

"If you guys both like the same guy how are you still friends?" I asked, fed up with the repetitive conversation. They looked at each other before Ino looked at me with a straight face and answered.

"We have a truce after school hours."

"Do you now?" I asked with mild curiosity. Sakura nodded enthusiastically. They tried to explain to me why and how but gave up after I purposefully misinterpreted what they said. The girls concluded that I 'would never understand' and left it at that.

I spent the rest of the afternoon with the girls and actually managed to get them to play a game rather than talk. My brothers were home that night for dinner having had gate duty in the morning.

It was nice to sit down with my whole family for dinner that night. We all had busy lives and weren't always available at dinner time. The atmosphere was happy and playful as we all poked fun at eat other in between bites of food.

By the time I went out to the back yard to train with Yamanaka-san I was feeling content. He had been stepping up my training recently. It almost felt like he was preparing me for something which put me on edge.

The training took a lot out of me and I was panting heavily when he called for a break. Breathing out a sigh of relief I sat under the tree and took a big gulp from my water bottle. I was sweating so much that I didn't even feel the chilly bite in the air.

"Suikazura, do you remember that time you helped out at one of my farms?" Yamanaka-san asked out of nowhere. I had to force myself not to tense up at the question. Instead I replied with a lazy, "Mhmm."

"Would you like to explain to me what really happened?" he asked. What made him think I actually knew? Either way I'd have to handle this carefully.

"I don't really know," I say in a confused voice. He watched me with a heavy gaze as if judging the truth to my reply.

"Why don't you explain to me what you were trying to do? We can figure out what actually happened from there." Jerk wasn't giving me a way out of this without looking suspicious. After having it confirmed that I had been reincarnated Yamanaka-san had been treating me more and more like an adult.

I didn't usually mind but times like this reminded me of how much freer a reign children had. I sat quietly for a moment, organizing my thoughts. How much should I give away? I ended up deciding to give him the truth in a roundabout way.

"As you already know, I grow the plants by leaking my chakra into them. From our experiments we figured out that the plants have their own chakra as well. When I make plants grow, I am both injecting my chakra and guiding the chakra they already posses." He nods to show he is with me so far.

"I didn't know this back then. That was the first time I tried doing anything with the plants chakra. Instead of guiding it, I tried to take it in. It was a stupid and badly thought out idea. Something about it messed with my chakra system and that's when I fainted." His eyebrows were furrowed in thought.

"The closest I have gotten to doing that again was when I killed the weeds on your farm by channeling the chakra through me and into the other plants." He was so lost in thought that he seemed to be unable to do anything other than nod his head.

"If you don't mind my asking, what brought this up all of a sudden?" I asked. Yamanaka-san usually gave more away when he was busy thinking. His eyes shined with amusement when they met mine, as if he knew exactly what I was doing, which he probably did.

"It has actually been plaguing my thoughts for a while now. It is understandable that a child would accidentally do something harmful, but you weren't exactly a child now, were you." I squirmed a little under his gaze.

"It occurred to me that you knew exactly what you were doing back then, and I seem to have been correct."

"Maybe just a little," I say, holding up my thumb and index finger to show just how 'little' I knew. My attempt to lighten the severity of the conversation worked when he laughed out loud. It seemed I was right in assuming that people get so distracted by the truth that they forget to ask for more.

"I will be telling the Hokage of this," he says, serious again.

"You have done nothing wrong, but I have been ordered to keep a close eye on you and anything you learn of your unique abilities," he assured me when he saw me fidget nervously. Yamanaka-san looked to the sky before turning to me again.

"Why don't we go for one more round? You can go home after that."

"Okay," I replied, eager to end our conversation. The next morning sensei was at the field before any of us. If he came to training, he usually got there exactly on time. That was our first clue that something was going on.

It had been a while since he had been available for training. Sensei didn't tell us what had occupied him the past week so we just assumed it had nothing to do with us. He put us through our paces and told us where we had improved and what we still needed to work on.

There was no mission for us to take today but before we went off to do our own things sensei asked us all out to lunch. It wasn't rare for us to eat together; we tried to keep close to each other as it helped us work well as a team, but I could tell something was up. From the look Hiroshi and Kiyoshi exchanged I could tell they had their own suspicions as well.

We entered the restaurant and took a seat at our usual table. The time until the waitress came was filled with friendly chatter, but the underlying tension was unmistakable. For a moment sensei looked almost proud of us, not that that was a bad thing. It just seemed a little out of place.

"You three have shown great improvement over the past six months under my supervision," sensei began after the food arrived. For some reason those words filled me with dread.

"Do you really think that sensei?" Hiroshi asked honestly. Aoba-sensei nodded his head and looked the three of us in the eye.

"This team has not only made great improvement, but have also filled the pre-requisites for the Chunin exam," he told us seriously. Please don't tell me he entered us, I thought desperately to myself. Kiyoshi on the other hand looked ecstatic.

"So you entered us for the exams? Wow, that's awesome!" It took a lot of self control to stop myself from hitting Kiyoshi over the head and explaining every reason why the exams are not 'awesome'. Hiroshi seemed stuck between excited and worried. At least one of them had some common sense.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, Kiyoshi. I have not entered you three." Kiyoshi visibly deflated at that.

"Aww, why not?" he asked with a pout.

"Do you think us incapable?" Hiroshi asked, sounding almost offended.

"It is not that you are incapable or that you are unready. I don't want to dump you all into that situation without properly preparing you," sensei explained. Relief filled me at his words, he didn't plan on throwing us in there and letting us fumble around blindly.

"What do you mean by 'preparing us properly'?" I finally piped in.

"The Chunin exams will be starting this month. While the first two tests are always different, the third is always a one on one tournament of sorts. We will be going over what kind of situations to expect from the exams as well as watching the third. I want you all to see the level that others fight at during the third exam." The boys both calmed at the pure logic behind sensei's words.

"If you don't plan on entering us then why go over all of this with us?" Hiroshi asked. And, with a slight smirk, sensei answered, "Because I plan on entering you three in the next." Oh boy. We were about to get busy.

I guess I should be thankful that he told us all of these things six months in advance. Although it would make me worry and get stressed out, I usually worked better under stress. It pushed me forward, gave me a goal that I could work towards.

My brothers seemed excited that night when they got back. Curiosity tingling in the back of my mind, I waited for the chance to question them. Not seeing any opening opportunities, I made one by inviting them on a walk with me.

"What got you guys so excited today?" I finally blurt out at them. They seemed amused at my inability to wait for them to bring it up themselves.

"For your information, we have been recruited to work as proctors for the upcoming Chunin exams," Kotetsu pompously replied. Even Izumo had an arrogant look about him at Kotetsu's words. A plan began forming in my head…

"Wow, really?" I asked them innocently. They seemed too self absorbed to notice the mischievous glint in my eyes.

"Yep. Yamanaka-san approached us today and asked for our assistance with the first test," Izumo said with a smile.

"I guess I'll be seeing you guys then!" The moment those words escaped my mouth, they froze in their tracks. It wasn't a complete lie…

"What do you mean 'you'll see us then'? Suikazura!" Kotetsu yelled out as I continued walking.

"Was your team nominated? You're too young, you don't have enough experience," Izumo said pleadingly, as if trying to convince me to give it up.

"Relax guys. We weren't nominated. Our sensei wants us to observe them to learn more about the exams," I say, and before it sinks in I began running. Even from a distance I could feel the spike of chakra at their annoyance. The chase was on.

I paused momentarily in one of the training fields to check the distance between the boys and me. That was when they pounced. Kotetsu pinned me to the ground and after a quick wrestle he and Izumo lay down in the grass beside me.

"Don't ever, and I repeat, _ever_ scare us like that again," Kotetsu says threateningly.

"My joke may have gone too far, but get used to the idea. We were not nominated this time, but we will be nominated for the next exams. You can't baby me forever," I snap at them, irritated by their behavior. At my words their anger loses its steam.

"Will you really?" Izumo asked after an uncomfortable silence. I only nod my head in reply; scared they would hear the nerves in my voice were I to speak aloud.

"But your team isn't ready," Kotetsu argued weakly.

"We have six months to train. Sensei set the bar high and wouldn't enter us if he didn't think us ready," was my reply. They both sighed in resignation at the same time making me snort at them in amusement.

We sat there quietly in the dark, no words spoken between us. They didn't need to tell me they were worried, just as I didn't need to tell them that I was entering whether they liked it or not. The silence stayed with us the whole way home that night, but I didn't let it bother me. All three of us would get over ourselves and feel better in the morning.

The morning came too soon. I was shaken awake at an un-godly hour by a dressed and way too energetic Kotetsu.

"Get up before I pour a bucket of water on your head," he said loudly in my ear.

"Why? I don't need to be up yet so get out," I reply none too kindly.

"If you're going to be in the Chunin exams, we're going to make sure you are ready," was Izumo's reply. I hadn't even realized he was in the room.

"I'm not entering for another six months so get out," was my barely coherent reply.

"No time like the present," was all I hear before my blankets were pulled out from underneath me and I fell to the floor.

"Fine I'm getting up so get out already!" I scream any semblance of patience lost in my usual morning irritation. I was preparing to throw things at them, but they left my room before I had the chance.

As more and more foreign Shinobi trickled into the village I trained; both in the morning with my brothers and in the morning-early afternoon with my team. It seems that training will forever be the main focus of my life, I thought one day as I made my way to the academy.

I guess that's what I get for trying to find something interesting to do with my life. I had told my parents I wouldn't be home for dinner and packed a box dinner for Naruto and Sasuke. We tried to see each other as much as possible, but it didn't always work out.

I either didn't have the time or the patience to see them. They were good kids and I liked them a lot, but they were so tiring to be around. After an entire week had gone by seeing neither hide nor hair of either of them, I decided it was time to hunt them down.

We spent the evening together catching up. Naruto told me of all the pranks he was planning on pulling, and Sasuke told me about how much his grades had picked up. Naruto made fun of Sasuke for focusing on his school work and Sasuke picked Naruto's plans apart.

They talked and bickered, ate, and then bickered some more. I eventually lost my patience and snapped at them which caused them to grow quiet, before blaming each other for my reaction. The evening was in all, just like every other we spent together.

After dinner we stopped at my house to get my big old orange ball. We had decided to play a game before we all went our separate ways. I was on my way out of the house when I saw Ino and Sakura peeking over the Yamanaka's fence.

"Hey guys, I was about to play some dodge ball with Naruto and Sasuke, want to join us?" they seemed too awed by my invite to do anything other than nod open mouthed at me. Sasuke was not as happy about our addition as Naruto was.

"Why are they here?" he asked in mild annoyance.

"Because I invited them to join us. If you think you don't need them on your team to win I'll just have them on mine," I say offhandedly. Sasuke's eyes narrow at my subtle challenge.

"Fine, it will be me and Naruto against you three. No way would we lose to a bunch of girls like you," he says arrogantly. The girls who had until that point looked upset at not being on Sasuke's team, bristled at the insult. Naruto seemed conflicted between wanting to be on Sakura's team and wanting to prove himself together with Sasuke. It was Sakura who settled everything.

"You're on!" she cried out jubilantly as Ino smirked at the boys with a determined expression on her face.

"You heard 'em, guys. We're going to kick your butts," I tell them. They both pause taking in the scene of three very competitive girls, and exchanged a nervous glance before nodding with equal determination as the girls.

"Let's go!" Naruto shouted leading the way to an empty field. Had it just been Sakura and Ino against Naruto and Sasuke, the boys would have won. My presence changed that. I may have gone a bit easy on the boys, but I made sure that the girls got all the opportunities needed to win.

In the end it was Ino and Sakura against Sasuke. Naruto and I had been eliminated earlier in the match. Sasuke was better and faster than them, but they had power in numbers and I had stayed in long enough to tire Sasuke out. Naruto cheered as hard as he could from the sidelines

With a brilliant show of teamwork the girls finished the game with a bang. When Sasuke grudgingly admitted that they had done well, they squealed so hard I thought my eardrums would burst.

Sasuke was a bit of a spoil sport; he hated losing, but I think he learned a lesson in humility. Rather than getting too upset at losing though, he took a different approach.

"Next time Naruto and I are so gonna win," he proclaimed arrogantly. I was surprised by that, but I guess it made sense. He had always admired Itachi because he was strong, and he had become friends with Naruto because he had proven his ability.

It was almost funny how drawn to power Sasuke was. Not in the sense that he needed it for himself, but that he seemed to surround himself with it. He liked being with strong people, and used them as a comparison for himself. Tonight the girls had proven themselves formidable opponents when provoked, and he was acknowledging that by implying that there would be a next time.

Ino and Sakura seemed to sense this, and for a moment I could see a glimpse of who they would become as they smiled softly at Sasuke. They had always vied for his attention and though they hadn't gotten it in the way they expected, they had still earned some.

I'd call tonight a success, I think to myself as I drop the boys off at their houses and make my way back with the girls trailing behind me. It was quiet for the first few minutes before Ino spoke up.

"Thank you for bringing us with you, Suikazura," she said gratefully as Sakura nodded her head to show her gratitude as well.

"It was no problem," I tell them honestly.

"I will, however, tell you two not to push Sasuke. Why do you think he's avoided you guys until tonight?" they seemed confused by my question and it was Sakura who answered.

"Because we were annoying?" she asked, as if hoping I would tell her she was no such thing.

"Yes. He played with you tonight because he no longer saw an annoying groupie, but a challenge." Ino seemed upset at my calling her a 'groupie'.

"We aren't _that _bad," she says with all the conviction of a nine year old, convinced they are right. It only took a raised eyebrow from me to have her looking down in defeat.

"So we may have pushed the line a little," she compromised.

"Do you think he will play with us again, though?" she asked, unable to hide the hope in her voice.

"As long as you treat him like a person rather than an artifact to be admired," was my blunt reply.

"I'm not going to tell you how to act around him, but pay attention to the reaction your 'affections' get. Use common sense and learn to be his friend before anything else." They both seemed lost in thought at my words. I really hope they take them to heart.

If Sakura could see past her crush and start bonding with Naruto and Sasuke, maybe it would help her improve faster. In the manga I had disliked both Sakura and Sasuke. Not because they were bad people, but because they never made sense to me.

Sakura spent so much time on her appearance and her crush that she lacked discipline and was unable to keep up with her team. Sasuke was a fool in my eyes for holding onto the past for so long and eventually driving himself insane. And he was insane.

The road to hell is paid with good intentions. He had left the village with the intentions of getting strong enough to get his revenge and to protect his friends. Over time that had warped into an unhealthy obsession and a determination to destroy everything.

As a person who valued their relationships more than anything, it was hard for me to understand how someone could just throw it all away like that. It was only after meeting the two of them that I understood. He had no one to trust, no guidance to rely on when he needed it most. My presence may not make enough of a difference, but I was trying.

Sakura never had anyone to smack her upside the head and give her a reality check. She needed someone to tell her to stop fooling around, that it may cause her to lose her life. Sadly enough, she only got that after training with Tsunade. She needed it now.

They were small differences, but I would make them in hopes that they can change. People are unpredictable, any interference I made could change anything, but I had to try in the hopes that maybe would get lucky.

I got scolded by Sakura's mother for keeping her out so late, but Yamanaka-san only seemed irritated at my forgetting our lessons that night. They weren't exactly forgotten, but I had needed the break from all my training. My own parents were rather irritated at my longer than anticipated absence.

It was worth it. Tonight had been worth it. I had played with the kids and enjoyed myself, better yet, they had enjoyed themselves. I felt like I was starting to move in the right direction, and it was worth it.

Things will start happening soon, I promise. I'm just trying to build up the proper tension. If it didn't work feel free to hate me. Either way, leave a review and come again.

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


	18. Eventually

Disclaimer: Life is a race and everybody is a toaster.

Authors Note: Slacker me: So it's a little late…

OCD me: A little late? A _little_ late? Are you crazy?! It should have been ready two weeks ago!

Slacker me: … Oh my God, your right!

But seriously, I do apologize for this chapter taking so long. Most of the time I couldn't right more than one or two paragraphs before it stopped flowing. I try not to write when it doesn't want to cooperate so as not to produce less than satisfactory work. The level of my 'satisfactory' work is arguable, but let's not get into that right now. Instead why don't you get into this next chapter? Hope you enjoy.

Chapter 18- Eventually

_The crowd waited with bated breath as the man at the plate hit what would surely be the winning ball. He raced across the bases, untouchable. A deafening cheer broke out as the man slid into home. In that moment everything was perfect. He did it, our team won. Because he didn't just play for himself, he played for his entire city._

My dream kept replaying itself in my head, over and over. Today was the day of the third exam and I was pumped. Sports had never been my thing; I couldn't play without getting extremely embarrassed. Watching sports from a TV was just boring. The only time I ever showed any excitement for sports was when I went to a game.

It was an experience like no other. It was impossible to get bored watching from the stands. The atmosphere would pull you in until you couldn't distinguish yourself from the rest of the wild audience. The best part though, was the pride you felt when it was your team that won. It had been so long since I'd experienced that and I had a feeling the exam would be very similar.

Two Konoha teams had made it to the final round and every villager available was at the stands supporting them whole heartedly. They were two years ahead of us so I didn't know any of them personally, but pride in my nation wouldn't let me cheer for anyone else.

"Who do you think will win?" Kiyoshi asked, nearly jumping out of his seat. The three of us had decided to get to the stadium early so that we had a chance to explore. After walking around the food stands we had made our way to our seats to wait for sensei.

"How should I know? I barely know the Konoha ninja and their abilities, and nothing about the foreign ones," I answer with a roll of my eyes.

"Heck, we don't even know what other villages still have candidates in the race," Hiroshi added.

"Well we can assume there are Mist ninja because of the Mizukage's presence, and that dude over there looks like the Kazekage," I say pointing at the men in turn. Something about the Mizukage gave me pause. Looking at him made me uneasy, sending off warning bells in the back of my mind.

"How'd you know that?" Kiyoshi asked, bewildered by my knowledge.

"I looked at their hats, duh," was my absent minded reply. That had to be the fourth Mizukage because he was a guy. Aside from the graduation exam that gave them the reputation as 'The Bloody Mist', what was making me feel like this?

"Are you alright, Suikazura?" Hiroshi asked when he noticed my staring.

"Yeah I'm fine. I guess I just kind of spaced out there a minute," I reply sheepishly. Having this feeling bothered me when I couldn't figure out why, but I decided to give up for now.

"I see you three found your seats all right," sensei said as he made us scoot over to make room for him. We spoke a little longer before quieting down as the contestants entered the arena. It was amazing to see them all fight. Each country had presented strong Shinobi. What really amazed me though, was the way ones upbringing affected their fighting.

Konoha focuses on teamwork, and it showed. As a whole, a Konoha team is flawless. Separate them, and the results could be surprising. The fact that two teams had made it to the final round meant they worked well together, but it was obvious that they lacked one on one experience.

The first two tests were very team oriented. Mist was much more focused on individual skills. For a Mist village team to have made it this far they had to be fairly good, and now was their time to shine. They sliced through the competition like a knife through butter.

Last but not least was the Sand Shinobi. They were just good. Suna is not the easiest place to live. No one was unaffected by the harsh living circumstances. Because of this their Shinobi numbers were smaller than most Hidden villages; however, it is also the reason why they are all good Shinobi.

Suna did not produce below par ninja. Those who couldn't make it didn't. By the end of the tournament only six had been promoted: four from Sand, one from Mist, and one from Leaf. There was a feast that night for the new Chunin, their sensei, and their Kage.

After spending the whole day watching such a thrilling competition I couldn't just go home for the evening. Instead I headed toward the training field, hoping to release some of my excess energy. For twenty minutes I ran around the field, before practicing my still shaky tree climbing. An approaching presence had me jumping out of the tree and grinning widely.

"Hey stranger, long time no see," I say as Kurenai popped out of the trees. She rolled her eyes at my greeting and folded her arms over her chest.

"Hey brat, remember when you used to respect me?" My laughter filled the field at her reply. I wasn't the least bit offended. Over the years our relationship had changed from teacher and student to friends on very different fighting levels.

"Were you at the tournament today?" I asked her, eager to discuss it with someone new.

"No I was on a mission. Did anything interesting happen?"

"Well there was this one dude who kept throwing around Ninjutsu like crazy. I'm surprised he didn't run out of chakra faster. It wasn't the smartest tactic. He won his first two fights but was completely drained by the third. It's a pity, because he was pretty good.

"He did this one earth Jutsu that seemed to give him some sort of armor." My eyebrows wrinkle in thought. I had expected him to go down fast; he had been hit with a kunai point blank. Instead he just shook it off and continued fighting.

"I want to learn it." Every winter when I wore shoes I felt crippled. My Disposition just wasn't as good as it could be without skin contact with the ground. It was ironic really. Fall and winter had always been my favorite seasons. Something about the cold just made me relax.

Summer on the other hand is my worst enemy. Sweating was part of why I hated summer, but the air itself was icing on the miserable cake. The feeling of hot and humid air filling my lungs disgusted me. It felt like I was suffocating. It was ironic that the season I hate most is when I am strongest.

Konoha summers were _hot_ and as a ninja I couldn't just hibernate all summer. Eventually I got used to them. Now I had to depend on them, and that made me feel weak. I wasn't completely incapable in winter but the shoes made a noticeable difference.

Another flaw in my fighting was making itself prominent. Foot injuries are slower to heal than others and as a person who walks around barefoot I am much more likely to get one. The thought that stepping on a stray kunai could put me off duty for a month had me nervous. Suddenly learning this Jutsu seemed like a great idea.

"If you are serious about learning it then you should check out the library. I would also suggest talking to your sensei and have him test you for your elemental affinity. Some Jutsu are only possible if it is your primary element," Kurenai said helpfully, interrupting my thoughts.

"That is a very good idea. I'll definitely talk with Aoba-sensei about it," was my reply. We spoke for a little longer before heading off in separate directions. On my way home I almost went straight to the library before deciding it was a stupid idea. It was getting too late and I had the feeling that I would fall asleep on the table.

The day of excitement was catching up with me leaving me ready to go to bed. My parents greeted me at the door with inquiries on how my day was. Apparently the boys weren't back yet and my parents were curious about the tournaments outcome. It was with a content heart that I went to sleep that night.

The next morning I got dressed hastily, eager to see what sensei had in store for us today. I wanted to rush to the training fields but was unable too. Things outside felt different; it was really distracting. I knew it was just the usual spring build up, but it amazed me each year.

Every year in early February I could feel the changes. Plants never grew, but I could feel them stirring, beginning to awaken underneath the layers of dirt. They waited patiently, gathering energy so that they could bloom healthily once spring arrived.

It made me restless, like I was building up energy as well. So with skyrocketing energy levels I made my way over to the boys. We sat in silence under a tree in the training field as we waited for sensei to arrive. I occupied my fingers with the hem of my shirt sleeves.

"Morning sensei," I yelled across the field with a wave as he approached.

"Good morning you three, I trust you all slept well?"

"Yep! So what are we doing today?" Kiyoshi asked, just as eager as I was to see what sensei had in store. It had to be something good. Yesterday we had observed the Chunin exams for the first time. That in itself was a huge lesson for us.

"Alright then let's start. Can one of you tell me the main advantage the candidates have over you?" sensei began. Advantage? There were a lot of them. All of the candidates had shown great skill and experience, something we were still working on. Before I had the chance to voice my thoughts Hiroshi was already talking.

"Elemental Ninjutsu," he said immediately.

"But you also use Elemental Ninjutsu," Kiyoshi said sounding confused.

"Yeah because Hiroshi's abilities will be a great help to you when you're stuck in a one on one battle." I say to Kiyoshi sarcastically, having caught on to what Hiroshi was getting at.

"I get that, but we have other skills to make up for our lack of Ninjutsu. You have your Disposition and I have my Genjutsu," Kiyoshi argued.

"You have to be very skilled with Genjutsu to use it freely in a one on one battle, Kiyoshi. Most Genjutsu users rely on their teammates to keep the enemy busy while they cast their Jutsu. As you three saw, that dependence on teammates was the downfall of quite a few of the candidates," sensei broke in.

"Today I would like to test the three of you for your elemental affinity," sensei continued as he pulled small square pieces of paper from his jacket.

"Not that I'm not curious, but why do we need to know our affinity?" I asked, getting into the lesson. It was so much more interesting to be learning this all first hand.

"Knowing your affinity is very important. There are some Jutsu that can only be learned if that element is your primary element. Knowing your element can help you in battle as well. They all have their weaknesses and strength. Fire, as you could expect, is weak to water. Knowing this could help you limit mistakes made on the battle field." Sensei explained patiently.

"So do you know our elements?" Kiyoshi asked already forgetting his previous argument in the excitement of learning something new. A corner of sensei's mouth twitched at Kiyoshi's change of attitude before he continued.

"I have a few guesses, but today we will find out for sure." He held up the papers in his hand as he explained, "these papers, when infused with chakra, will tell us what element you three possess."

"Paper?" Hiroshi asked skeptically.

"Yes paper. Here why don't you try first," sensei said as he gave one of the pieces of paper to Hiroshi. Hiroshi approached the paper cautiously as if it might attack him before holding it up with two fingers. I felt a small surge of chakra from him. The paper drooped almost instantaneously as it became waterlogged.

"That is so cool!" Kiyoshi practically squealed. I couldn't stop a small smile at his reaction.

"Well that explains your adaptability with water Jutsu." Sensei said as he waved Kiyoshi forward and handed him one of the identical papers. Kiyoshi gripped it with two hands and infused a large amount of chakra.

The paper spontaneously combusted causing Kiyoshi to drop it lest he get burned. I outright laughed at his panicked reaction. Hiroshi snorted before saying, "I guess that makes you a fire type."

Sensei held out the last slip of paper to me. I already had a pretty good idea which affinity I had, but it was always nice to know for sure. Holding it between my thumb and index finger, I infused it with my chakra. It quickly turned into a clump of dirt before crumbling to the ground.

"I assume that makes me earth," I say looking down at the pieces of dirt left on the ground.

"Is that why you're as stubborn as a mule?" Kiyoshi teased.

"Oh Kiyoshi, you flatter me. But you should know by now I'm much more stubborn than a mere mule," I say with a dramatic air about me. Sensei rolled his eyes at us before clapping his hands to gain our attention.

"That's enough fooling around now. Over the weeks we have gone in depth with chakra control. You are all moderately capable at both tree walking and water walking. I say we put this training to use."

"Does that mean we get to learn a lot of new Jutsu?" Kiyoshi asked.

"Not quite," was all sensei replied, as if he were trying to egg us on. Hiroshi took the bait.

"What do you mean 'not quite'?" Aoba-sensei looked us all in the eye seriously.

"It takes many Shinobi years of training before mastering any one affinity. There are Jutsu you all will learn, but it will take time for you to become efficient with most of them. Right now our goal is not to master your elements, but to begin the process. By the time the three of you enter the Chunin Exams I want each of you to have learned and become proficient with two techniques.

"This training will help to build your chakra reserves as well as strengthen your control. Today's main lesson will begin in the library where each of you will pick out two D-Rank Jutsu of your element to learn. But first I would like you all to go through the normal morning warm up." Sensei then left the middle of the field to observe us from under a tree to the side.

I shrugged at the boys annoyed faces and began my laps. By the time we had finished rain began to fall from heavy grey clouds that had congregated during our exercises. We were all glad that we could take shelter in the warm library.

The library was huge. Ceiling to floor bookshelves filled the wide area. Books both old and new lay displayed for the public. I inhaled the musty scent that only a library could possess and smiled. This relaxed feeling was something I had missed. I missed books and reading in general.

The life I had chosen had come at the cost of one of my favorite hobbies. I still read, but not as often as I could have. Being a ninja required you to be active, and being active took time. Eventually I found it hard to stay still. Time I would have once spent reading a good book was now spent running around a field or throwing sharp objects at trees.

We each wandered off in separate directions, intent on finding new Jutsu to add to our slim arsenals. I walked the aisles completely enamored by the large collection. The most exciting part had to be knowing that this wasn't even half of it. The main library is open for the public and therefore only held books with common knowledge.

The only reason I knew there were deeper levels was because sensei told us about them. Aoba-sensei had explained how the system worked; how all the good Jutsu were kept split into sectors underground. Only Chunin or higher could even enter that part of the building.

And let's not forget all the separate clan libraries. Most clans kept small libraries filled with Jutsu unique to their clan. While that was interesting, the one I am most interested in has to be the Yamanaka library. I had a feeling that I would find the most knowledge about plants in that one. Yamanaka-san had taught me about the properties of the seeds he had given me, but I knew there was more.

I made my way towards the back of the main room and found myself in the section dedicated to low level lightening Jutsu. Wrong aisle. The lightening area seemed to stretch to the wall on my right so I turned left and began walking. Two aisles down, I came across Kiyoshi and sensei. The snippet of their conversation that I caught had me laughing.

"I said D-Rank, Kiyoshi."

"But sensei, just imagine how awesome-"I didn't stick around to hear the rest of it for fear I would be kicked out of the library for laughing too loudly. The earth area was one of the largest. I wanted to read it all, but knew that would probably never happen. Instead I skimmed all the tittles I could see and examined every scroll that looked promising.

With scrolls tucked under my arm and books pilled so high I could barely see where I was going, I made my way over to an empty table to read. It was amazing how much there was. Half of the things listed in the books didn't even count as real Jutsu, just tricks. Small things one could do with their element without hand signs.

After reading one passage that explained how to practice molding rock and dirt with chakra I knew I would feel like some kind of earth bender when I tried it. It seemed so ludicrous to be able to just bend an element just like that, no matter how small the alteration was. As the girl who can grow things unnaturally fast, I didn't really have a right to complain.

I hadn't kept track of the time, but it couldn't have been too long after I settled in to read that Kiyoshi, Hiroshi, and sensei joined me. No words were spoken as the three of us poured over our material. After an hour of working like that I looked up to see sensei sitting by us patiently.

He planned on sitting with us until we were done; always on hand in case we needed help or a question answered. I don't know how he can manage sitting like that for so long, but he has my everlasting respect for it. With a shake of my head I brought my attention back to my reading.

By the time my stomach started growling I had picked the Jutsu I wanted to learn. At that point I kept reading for the extra tidbits and interesting tips about training I continued to come across. I ignored my stomachs' demand for nourishment and continued reading. It was only when Hiroshi's stomach made its presence known that sensei spoke.

"Why don't we go discuss our finding over a late lunch?" When sensei said we should eat it usually meant he was paying. With big smiles the three of us placed all of our books on a counter for a clerk to deal with before picking up our things and heading out to our usual lunch place.

"You can speak in turns about what you found. Let's start with Kiyoshi," sensei said after our orders were placed.

"So the first four on my list-"Kiyoshi began before sensei cut him off.

"Narrow it down to two."

"Aww. C'mon sensei! If I can't learn a big one why can't I learn a lot of small ones?" Kiyoshi whined in reply.

"Two," sensei reiterated. With a large pout Kiyoshi crossed off a few things on his list.

"So the first one I have on here is the Sticky Fire Jutsu. It's a fast burning fire that's hard to put out that clings to its target," Kiyoshi said as he looked up at sensei as if challenging him to veto this Jutsu as well. When sensei nodded his head in acceptance, Kiyoshi continued.

"The second I picked is just a plain Fire Ball Jutsu. You shoot a fire ball as big as your head out of your mouth. I bet it looks really cool," he said becoming more animated by the minute.

"Good choices. Both are decent Jutsu that aren't hard to learn. With enough work you should be on your way to mastering them in no time," sensei told Kiyoshi before turning to Hiroshi and saying expectantly, "Hiroshi?"

"The one I picked is called the Black Rain Jutsu. It creates a flammable mist that covers a predetermined area," Hiroshi said tiredly. A snort from sensei had his attention back on the table.

"What's so funny?" he asked rather indignantly.

"What's funny is that out of all the Jutsu you could have picked, you picked the only one capable of working with fire Jutsu," sensei answered, amusement clear in his eyes. Hiroshi's cheeks tinted red as if he were embarrassed he had been caught doing something he shouldn't have. Then it occurred to me that he had only named one Jutsu.

"So what else did you pick?" I asked, curious.

"I didn't pick a second. I don't need it," he replied stubbornly.

"That's not fair! If we have to pick two then how come you don't?" Kiyoshi said, not even trying to hide his outrage.

Leaning back in his chair, Hiroshi replied smugly, "I don't need a second Jutsu because I already have my water whip."

"That's cheating," I told him, disapproval clear on my face.

"I have already spoken with Hiroshi about this. His water whip counts as a second Jutsu. He may already know how to use it, but there is always more with that Jutsu. Do not think you will be studying alone. Now Suikazura, what Jutsu did you pick today?"

"Um…" was my response as I gathered my thoughts and finished my mouthful.

"The first one I chose is this rock staff Jutsu thingy. It basically makes a staff out of rock that you can use to fight." My explanation didn't do the Jutsu justice, but sensei seemed to know the one I was talking about.

"And your second?" he asked with a nod of his head.

"The Earth Pillar Prison Jutsu," was my immediate reply.

"Both could be used for offense and defense… A good selection," he muttered to himself before looking up at us again.

"Now that you three have a goal we can discuss the methods of achieving them. I will explain what you each will be doing, but we will not put what I say into practice until tomorrow. It is getting late and we still have yet to take a mission for the day."

I was kind of bummed that we didn't get to start right away, but it was probably a good thing we didn't. It was already mid-afternoon and we wouldn't have much time to work on anything we learnt.

Looking each of us in the eye as he spoke, sensei said, "Suikazura, tomorrow you will be molding rocks, much like you mold your vines. This will help you get a feel for the element you will be working with. Hiroshi, you will be pulling water from the river with nothing but chakra. And you Kiyoshi will stop a flame from consuming a leaf while it burns."

We all stared at him with dumbfounded looks. He wanted us to what? How in the world did he expect us to mould rocks like clay, hold water without a physical container, and stop a fire from burning without putting it out?

"And just how do you expect us to do all that?" Hiroshi asked him skeptically. And with a half grin, sensei replied, "You'll just have to wait until tomorrow for that part. Now why don't we head up to the tower for our mission? I'm sure they're wondering what is taking us."

Aoba-sensei could be very irritating sometimes. Our fence painting went off without a hitch, sending me home on time for dinner, that is, _before _I was accosted by Kotetsu and Izumo.

"Hey Suikazura, you have a moment?" Kotetsu asked me casually.

"Yeah, do you guys need something?" They both seemed very relaxed. It put me on edge.

"We just wanted to talk," Izumo said. Not believing the act for even a second, I crossed my arms over my chest and said, "Alright, who's dying?" Their eyes widen in surprise at my seemingly random reply.

"Nobody's dying we just wanted to talk! Jeez woman, you're so paranoid." Kotetsu exclaimed defensively.

"Just spit out what you want to say and I won't need to guess something drastic," I tell them with a roll of my eyes. It didn't seem to be anything bad, so I let my position relax and unfolded my arms.

"Maybe we should go somewhere private first?" Izumo suggested. Suspicion and curiosity were battling inside me as I followed them down to the riverbed. With Kotetsu in the middle we settled on the grass. They were quiet for a bit before Kotetsu looked down at me and dropped a bomb shell.

"Izumo and I plan on moving out." Wait, what? He sounded too serious to be joking. Were they really planning on leaving?

"Why?" I blurted out, unable to suppress my confusion.

"What do you mean 'why'? Suikazura, we're almost twenty! By all rights we could have moved out years ago. We aren't kids anymore." Rationally, it made sense to me. But I didn't want them to move out. Never before had I had such a close relationship with my siblings.

My old family just wasn't close. By the time we were all at the point where we could have gotten along, we had each started moving in separate directions. Growing up with the boys and my parents had been like a childhood dream come true. I had had a real family, in more than just blood.

Knowing their intentions to move out shook me to the core. It felt like the moment they left they would forget about me. Like the moment they had their own life, completely severed from us, they wouldn't want anything to do with me.

It was irrational, but I was scared I would lose my family all over again. Izumo, who had been quiet up until that point, seemed to read my mind and chose that moment to speak.

"It's not far from the house. We wanted to make sure we were close by incase you guys needed us. There's an extra bedroom as well. We're going to make it a guest room that you can use if you ever need to get out of the house." My heavy breathing slowed at his assurances that I would still be seeing them.

"Have you guys told mom and dad yet?" I ask quietly, eyes glued to my lap.

"We plan on telling them tonight. I wanted to tell you first though," Kotetsu said, watching me for a reaction.

"Well what are we waiting for? Let's go home," I said in a small voice as I stood and headed off in the direction of our house. The boys followed me home silently. Perhaps they thought speaking would provoke me into going on a homicidal rage. Or maybe they just felt awkward. At that point I was too angry to be awkward.

This was the next step in their life, but for some reason I couldn't seem to accept that. I wouldn't stop them, but I didn't want them to go. That night at the dinner table they brought up the topic of their move. My parents heard them out to the end and agreed that it was a good idea.

A small part of me wished my mom would get upset and tell them 'no'. Even if she did say 'no', that wouldn't stop the boys. They were adults now and the choice was theirs. The fact that they brought it up to us instead of just leaving showed great maturity on their part.

After my usual after dinner training with Yamanaka-san, I sat under the tree in our backyard to think. It was cold outside, but I couldn't bring myself to go inside where they were treating this newest development as a reason to celebrate.

The sky had cleared enough for me to see the stars and watching them seemed to clear my mind as well. How incredibly selfish I was being. The thought hit me like a ton of bricks bringing with it enough guilt to last me a life time. This was a big step for my brothers. This was supposed to happen.

Was I really going to sit there and mope like a ten year old denied candy? It was almost laughable that a thirty year old woman was getting upset about her older-younger brothers moving out. With a shake of my head at my own thick headedness I went inside to congratulate them.

**A/N** One thing I wanted to bring up was reviews. While reading fanfiction I have often come across authors that hold the next chapter 'hostage'. Please don't feel like you need to review for the next chapter. While I always enjoy them, I don't want you to feel forced. If the next chapter is late that's because I either don't have the time or my brain won't work. I would like to thank those of you who do review, they make my day. And to those of you who don't review, that's fine too. I rarely review too. Thank you for sticking with me this far.

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


	19. Move Along

Disclaimer: None of this is mine. Why? Because I said so. :P

Authors Note: Thank you for waiting patiently for this next chapter. A lot of stuff happened this past week, one of which was getting sick, and it caused me to push my writing back. It was taking so long, and this chapter was growing more than I anticipated so I decided to chop what I had in mind in half. Its probably a good thing I did that because my idea for the next chapter keeps growing. Well, as always, I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 19- Move Along

"_The sharp knife of a short life"-_ If I Die Young, The Band Perry

Training with earth chakra had been interesting. Rocks don't naturally bend or shift forms, but it wasn't exactly hard. With enough concentration I could take a pebble and make it perfectly square. Anything larger or more detailed would end up looking like a ditto: formless and without any structure.

Kiyoshi almost started a forest fire at one point and I'm not entirely sure it was an accident. He was able to prevent the stems on leaves from burning, but once the fire spread past a certain point the whole leaf would go up in flames.

Hiroshi would put his palm on the water and when he lifted his hand from the surface only a small amount of water swirled in a chaotic ball before it lost shape and splashed back into the river.

Though we all knew we were improving, we were starting to get annoyed at all of our failures blowing up in our faces. It was no wonder that after three and a half weeks of nonstop training one of us would lose patience.

"Sensei, can we go on a mission? A real mission? We haven't left the village since we began this training, and it's driving me crazy!" Kiyoshi complained loudly at sensei. Usually Hiroshi or I would roll our eyes at him for acting like a ten year old, but right then we were on the same page.

Because of the strenuous training we had just begun, the amount of missions we took was lessoned so as not to over work us. Once our bodies adjusted to the amount of chakra we were expending each day we would be able to do more, but for now we had to be content with small missions.

"That may actually be a good idea. It has been a while and you three deserve the chance to blow off some steam," sensei thought aloud.

"Alright, I will see what I can get for us. I will speak to the Hokage this evening, but that does not mean we will have a mission by morning. If you really want a 'good' one, you may have to wait for it."

"Woohoo!" I yelled, unnecessarily loud as I flung my arms in the air. Even with all this training I felt cooped up. Spring was more than just on its way by this point. It was so close I could feel it and it was making me restless.

We completed the days training with new vigor. By the end of the day both of the boys were exhausted. I was tired, but not to the point of collapsing. Instead of going home to take a shower for my sore muscles, I went to the park in search of Naruto and Sasuke.

Turning the corner, I heard them before I saw them. They seemed to be in the middle of a tree climbing contest. At the base of the trunk were Sakura, Ino, and Kiba. The girls were cheering for Sasuke while Kiba cheered for Naruto. My eyes spotted the boys half way up the tree where they were climbing as fast as they could.

Something inside me tensed when they began to push each other. They meant no harm, but one of them was going to fall. I quickly made my way to the tree just in time to catch Sasuke. Naruto, who was panic stricken at what he had accidentally done, found the fastest way down the tree: he jumped.

If I had free hands I would have face-palmed at his stupidity. Instead I threw Sasuke over my shoulder and caught Naruto with my other arm. The moment I gently set them down, Naruto turned to an embarrassed Sasuke and began apologizing profusely.

"Are you guys okay?" I interrupted Naruto sharply. Fear and worry for their well being quickly turned to anger at the sheer stupidity they had just shown. They both looked up at me as if only then realizing I was there. The boys nodded their head to answer my question.

"Good because, you two have a lot of explaining to do." Sasuke winced at the cold tone of my voice as Naruto gulped heavily.

"Ah well, you see, we were just-"Naruto tried to explain.

"You were just what? Trying to kill each other?" My voice rose with every word. The long day of training was catching up to me, and seeing them fall from the tree had been such a shock that it drove me other the edge.

"That has to be the stupidest thing you two have done up to date! I don't want to hear your excuses," I add after Sasuke opened his mouth to argue back. My right hand reflexively went up to my forehead to massage out the headache that was well on its way. With a sigh my position relaxed and my anger lost all steam.

"You guys need to be careful. Please think before you act. Did you really think you would both be perfectly fine after pushing each other out of a tree?" I said almost pleadingly. They looked at the ground guiltily.

"Sorry," they spoke in unison. During our conversation the three in the audience had slowly began backing away. A part of me wanted to yell at them for encouraging the boys, but right then I felt it was more important to speak with the boys.

"Look, I'm sorry I yelled, but you two had me really worried." Naruto's eyes glistened suspiciously before he vaulted himself at me, arms outstretched for a hug. His reaction to my scolding took me off guard and I could only stand there as he buried his head in my stomach.

Sasuke, who had been staring at the ground broodingly, glared at Naruto when he went to hug me. Something told me that Sasuke would not initiate contact himself, though he was obviously upset that he couldn't hug me.

I threw an arm round his shoulders and awkwardly pulled him to my side. He stiffened a moment before snaking a small arm around my waist. Shaking my head with a sigh, I pulled their arms and began to lead them to Ichiraku's.

"I swear; the two of you are going to be the death of me. Come on, let's go get some dinner. I wanted to talk with you anyways." Naruto seemed to catch on to where we were going and let go of me. With his arms in the air he cheered and ran ahead toward the stall.

I went to let go of Sasuke's hand as well, but he tightened his grip so I let him be. After realizing that he was the only one running toward the stall, Naruto ran back to us.

"Come on guys. I'm hungry!"

"I may be paying, but your limit is two bowls each." I tell Naruto seriously. The manga wasn't exaggerating the amount of ramen Naruto could eat. Though I had been saving up my mission money, I didn't have enough to pay for a ramen spree. D-Ranks didn't exactly pay well. Most of what I earned went straight into savings.

"Aww. Come on Nee-Chan, just one more?" Naruto whined loudly. Then he froze, eyes wide open as he stared at me almost fearfully. At the moment I was too shocked to do anything other than stare. Did he really think of me as a sister?

A warm feeling filled my chest as an embarrassed blush covered my face. The warmth was smothering, causing me to sweat despite the chilly weather. Sasuke, who was still at my side, seemed to catch onto the awkwardness and decided to join the conversation.

"Yeah Nee-san, I'm really hungry. Can't we have three bowls?" his voice was light and teasing. I was relieved he was finally back to normal, but the teasing wasn't exactly welcome. Naruto seemed to realize that I wasn't angry, just embarrassed and joined Sasuke in his teasing.

"Nee-Chan, we might starve to death if we don't eat enough!" My body was tense and my eyes shifty as they continued to whine about more food, calling me Nee-Chan all the while.

"Okay, okay! You guys win! You can have an extra bowl," I tell them in an annoyed voice, finally getting control over the outrageous blush on my cheeks. They laughed loudly at my outburst and began racing towards the stall, leaving me to walk by myself.

The two of them had me wrapped around their fingers, and now they knew it. I just hoped they wouldn't suck my wallet dry. I waved to Teuchi and his daughter as I entered before seating myself next to the boys.

"Did you guys already order?" I asked them absently as I looked over the menu. Sasuke nodded his head while Naruto answered with a loud, "Yep!" It didn't take long for our steaming bowls to make an appearance on the counter. My mouth was watering at the smell of food. Ration bars were convenient, but I should really stop eating them all the time.

We ate with gusto, completely content by the time we finished. A comfortable silence had blanketed the three of us. I didn't want to pop the happy bubble, but I needed to tell them I might be leaving for a bit.

"Why don't we go for a walk?" I asked abruptly. They both agreed readily enough, but I could tell that Sasuke thought something was up. We walked slowly toward the riverbank, Naruto chatting happily the whole way. Sitting by the edge of the river had me tempted to dip my feet in, but the chilly air had me re-considering.

It was well past sunset and the stars glittered beautifully on the rivers surface. The current was slow enough to reflect the stars, but fast enough to distort their images. In the end I decided that the river looked like a big disco ball.

"So what did you want to tell us?" Sasuke asked, breaking through my thoughts. Sitting down with a sigh, I patted the ground next to me urging them to take a seat on the grass next to me. Once they were both seated my gaze turned back to the river.

"As you two know, my team has been picking up a lot more C-Rank missions, most of which require us to leave the village." Naruto nodded his head at my words with a sagely look on his childish face that almost caused me to giggle at him.

"In a day or two we will most likely be getting another one. I will probably be out of town for a while," I continue.

"How long is a while?" Sasuke asked sounding resigned. He was getting used to my absences, but was never really happy about them.

"Don't know. Depends on the mission. It could take a day, or it could take a month. I wanted to tell you guys tonight in case I didn't get to see you before leaving," was my answer. A large yawn escaped my lips causing Naruto to giggle at me. Sasuke, on the other hand, seemed to realize how drained I was by then.

"If you have a big mission, shouldn't you be sleeping or preparing or something?" he asked. I grinned at how unsubtle he was. Standing up I ruffled his messy hair and replied, "Yes mom. I'll get right on that."

"Haha! She called you 'mom'," Naruto said loudly, pointing at Sasuke. The poor boys cheeks turned red as he tried to swat away the hand on his head. The fact that I had removed my hand before he had a chance to make contact had Naruto laughing even louder.

That was how Naruto found himself tackled to the ground by a very embarrassed Sasuke. I just shook my head at their antics as I began walking in the direction of Naruto's apartment. It took the boys a moment to realize I had left without them, causing them to run to catch up to me.

By the time I had dropped both boys off at their respective houses, I was exhausted. I had just enough energy to tell my parents I was home, before I passed out on my bed. A tap on my bedroom window woke me the next morning. My vision was obstructed by my hair, but I was too tired to move it out of the way.

Shifting just enough that I could peek through my bangs I finally saw what had rudely awoken me. Sensei was crouching on my window sill waiting patiently for me to acknowledge him. Blinking at him was the only greeting I could manage before turning away from him and trying to go back to sleep.

"Come now, Suikazura. You guys wanted a mission, so I got you one. Get up we have much preparation to do before leaving." He had opened the window and climbed in my room. Sitting up groggily I looked past him to see it was barley even dawn.

"Sensei, what will the neighbors think when they see a grown man crawling in through my window? You'll ruin my reputation with your scandalous behavior," I told him seriously. Well, as serious as I could be after just waking up.

"I expect you to be in front of the Hokage tower in an hour. If you are not, the consequences will be much worse than just a bad reputation," was sensei's only reply before he jumped out my window.

With a sigh I stood on shaky legs and padded across my room, heading toward the closet. I began to space out as I pulled my shirt from my closet. A loud tearing sound jolted me out of my stupor. The shirt I had just put on now had a rip going down the back of it.

"Well that's nice," I mutter to my empty room. With an annoyed sigh I snuck into my parent's room intent on borrowing a shirt from one of them. There was no way I would were another one of mine. What if it also ripped? Even worse, what if it ripped while I was on a mission? That would suck big time.

I threw my zip up vest on over the green shirt I had grabbed before pulling together a mission pack. Making sure all my weapons were securely tied to my limbs, I pulled on the last bit of my gear: my belt. My collection of seeds had grown with lack of constant use. I left a quick note on the kitchen table telling my parents about the mission before walking out the door.

An equally tired Hiroshi and Kiyoshi met me in front of the tower twenty minutes early. We must have been a sight to see: three zombie like Genin just standing in front of the red mansion. A snort from the otherwise silent Kiyoshi had me looking up at him.

"What?" I asked, for some reason causing him to start laughing.

"What?" I asked again, more insistent this time. Hiroshi was now looking between us, confused.

"You don't match at all," Kiyoshi finally said, pointing at the green shirt I had taken from my mom.

"And that's funny, why?" was my grumpy response.

"I don't know why, it just is," he said, breaking into giggles again. Even Hiroshi was smiling by that point.

"Yeah, well your shirt is on backwards." Kiyoshi's laughter stopped as he looked down at himself. Hiroshi was full out laughing at Kiyoshi's panicked expression. Upon realizing his shirt was how it should be Kiyoshi opened his mouth to say something only to be interrupted by sensei's appearance.

"The Hokage is waiting for us inside," was all he said. We followed after sensei single file as he led us to the missions' desk.

"Ah, team one. It's good to see you all again," the Hokage said upon our entrance. It had been a while since the Hokage himself had briefed us on a mission. He was probably only available because it was so early.

"Let's get straight to the point," he said, shuffling some papers on the long desk.

"It has been rumored that a mining city on the Grass Country border has been infiltrated by enemy Shinobi. A Genin team was sent up there a week ago to investigate these rumors. They have confirmed this information. Your mission is to get into the city unnoticed and deal with this threat."

"Excuse me Hokage-sama, but if this is a Fire Country city why must we get in unnoticed?" the question came from Kiyoshi. He made a good point.

"That brings us to your mission's second objective. Find out which country these Shinobi are from. We want you undercover so as not to alert the foreign Shinobi to your digging. After you have confirmed which country they are from, you are to eliminate them." This was sounding more and more like a B-Rank mission.

"Then this mission is B-Ranked?" I asked the Hokage uneasily. He turned in my direction and looked me right in the eye as he answered, "You are correct. This mission is indeed a B-Rank." Kiyoshi was getting shifty next to me, obviously excited about such a high ranked mission.

"I don't mean to question your judgment, Hokage-sama, but why was a Genin team with little over half a years experience given this mission?" Hiroshi asked nervously. The Hokage smiled at Hiroshi as he leaned back in his chair.

"Your team has proven capable on many occasions. We have complete faith you will succeed. There are only four enemies Shinobi. We believe them to be a Jonin sensei and his Genin team." That couldn't be the only reason we were being sent. It hadn't even been a year since the massacre, and we were down many Shinobi.

I imagine we were being sent because of how understaffed we were. Most of the more capable ninja had been up to their ears in work. While our team was in no way considered elite, they were beginning to think of us as capable. A small amount of pride bloomed in my chest at the thought that our team was good enough to be sent on missions like this.

"How you sneak in is up to you, though your sensei seems to have a few ideas. This is the missions scroll; it contains a more detailed report about your enemy that was written by the team that was sent up there before you." The Hokage said as he pointed to the scrolls on his desk.

"There is one more thing I would like to discuss before you leave," the Hokage said, leaning forward in his seat.

"You are not required to kill these Shinobi. If they request a chance to retreat upon confrontation, you are to escort them back to the border from hence they came." We all nodded our acceptance of this. Honestly I was rather relieved.

With our business in the tower finished, we left the building. If it was just another team doing what their Kage had ordered them I'd rather not kill them unless I had too. Especially if they were just trying to retreat. Lost in thought I had almost walked into Hiroshi, who was in front of me, at his sudden stop. Sensei had led us to a small café.

"Why don't we have a small breakfast as we discuss our tactics," sensei said as he strode inside. Food sounded good just then. Three muffins and a banana may have been a bit overboard, but I had a feeling we would be here for a while.

"This mission will teach the three of you important lessons. You have of course gone through normal infiltration training, but today you will use what you know to complete a mission. Tell me, what you three think is a good way to infiltrate a village?" sensei asked us after we sat down.

"Umm… What if we sneak in using a wagon? Something like the one Tomio-san had," Kiyoshi suggested.

"We can't do that though. At some point we will probably have to question the towns' people, wouldn't it seem a bit suspicious if people saw us climb out of a wagon? We would practically be giving ourselves away," Hiroshi said.

"Well what if we disguise ourselves as traveling civilians? We could say we are taking a break in the town. It wouldn't be suspicious if we ask around about things; they would just think we were your average tourists," I pitched in.

"I'm glad your lessons seemed to have stuck with you three. All of your ideas are plausible, and similar to what I had in mind."

"Are you going to tell us exactly what it is you 'have in mind'?" I asked sensei.

"We will approach the village as a family of four with plans to spend a few days there before heading further north towards the in-laws," was sensei's reply.

"As long as I don't have to play 'wife' then that's fine with me," Hiroshi said with a crooked grin.

"Me either!" Kiyoshi yelled out as if he would be forced to if he didn't object soon enough.

"I don't want to be the wife either. Ooh! I know. Can I be the husband? It will really help my acting skills." I asked sensei pleadingly. He just gave me a blank look causing the boys to laugh at my odd request and sensei's reaction.

"Why don't we discuss character design," sensei proposed, completely ignoring my former request.

"We will all be under Henge, but there is more that goes into that Jutsu than chakra. So far all you three have done is use it to copy the appearance of another. In a situation like this it could be dangerous to you and anyone you appear as. To avoid such danger, we will be making our own appearances." That actually sounded like fun.

I hadn't really experimented with a simple Henge, but now that sensei brought it up I was excited to try it. If we were going as a family we would have to have similar physical traits without looking like carbon copies of each other.

Ideas were already running circles in my head. How could we look alike without being too alike? Which traits should be the same? We should probably look fairly average, so blonde or red hair was out of the question.

"As you finish eating I want you to each come up with an appearance. Boys, you will both be between the ages of four and seven. Any younger and it would be too suspicious. Most families wait for their children to be older before traveling with them. Suikazura, you will be the wife. Hair color should be a shade between light brown, and dark brown.

"Once you all have an idea in mind I want you to speak amongst yourselves to make sure you all have similar traits. If you want to be extremely thorough, you can begin thinking of your characteristics. When you are finished, you can find me at our usual training field. As soon as I approve of you we will be on our way." Were the instructions sensei gave us before leaving.

Both boys looked a bit lost. Apparently appearances were not something they spent much time on. An idea was beginning to form in my mind as I finished my food. Kiyoshi kept looking at me pleadingly as if I would give him all the answers. I quickly smothered the smirk that wanted to take over my face, instead choosing to slowly lick the crumbs off my fingers.

"I know you have an idea so stop making us wait," Kiyoshi finally snapped.

"Alright, alright. Hold your horses, I was just finishing my food," I replied in exasperation.

"As you guys should already know, most children look more like their grandparents than their actual parents. But certain traits like hair and eye color run in the family," I tell them in lecture mode.

"We know; this was all covered at the academy," Hiroshi said, patience obviously warring thin.

"What I'm trying to say is that all we need are a few similar traits. Other than that you guys could have purple hair and we could still look related." Kiyoshi nodded his head at my words, beginning to understand the simplicity behind our task.

"So what image did you have in mind for yourself?" Hiroshi asked me curiously.

"I was thinking of having light or auburn brown hair, hazel or brown eyes, average height, lots of freckles. A less muscular frame, lower cheek bones, and a shorter nose. Some wrinkles around my eyes would probably be good too. Age would be about twenty five. From what sensei said we can assume he will be fairly average as well." My words seemed to spark ideas for both the boys as they became lost in thought.

While they were busy deciding what to look like, I got up and bought myself another muffin. Those things were addictive. By the time I got back to the table Kiyoshi was scraping a kunai across the surface of the table while Hiroshi was poking holes in it. The funniest part was that they didn't even realize they were doing it.

"So guys, have any ideas yet?" I ask them cheerily. Hiroshi's eyes wrinkle in thought before he says, "Age between four and five. Hair light brown, hazel eyes and a long nose. Light freckles, tan complexion, round face. How does that sound?"

"Good. Before we decide for sure though, we should see what Kiyoshi has I mind."

"Plain dark brown hair, but not as dark as yours," Kiyoshi said looking at me.

"Dark brown eyes, just like my father. Angular face similar to my mother's, I'll even have her light skin complexion. No freckles though. Age between six and seven."

"Sounds good to me." We spent the next forty minutes transforming into the images we held in our mind. After taking on a different appearance we would scrutinize every last detail we could think of. Things like hair and nail length, how callused our hands would be.

By the time we were done we had thought up an entire family history. We lived on the outskirts of the village on one of the dairy farms where my 'husband' worked. My days were spent caring for the cows and equipment. My youngest stayed by my side while my oldest learned how to work the fields with his father.

Our youngest was finally old enough to travel so we had prepared and early spring reunion with my parents who I had not seen since before his birth. Because we all spent so much time with each other it was easy to fill the roles we had chosen.

Hiroshi was the shy four year old, always glued to his mothers skirts. Kiyoshi was the adventurous seven year old, eager to discover the big world he had heard about. I was the mother hen, constantly checking my sons for scrapes and cuts they collected.

A sense of accomplishment filled the three of us. This assignment hadn't been a challenge, but we had completed it to the best of our abilities and it felt good. Now we just had to put our new disguises to the test.

We made our way to the agreed upon meeting place slowly. The three of us were as in character as we could get. Hiroshi rested on my hip with his head buried in my shoulder, while Kiyoshi kept trying to tug his hand from mine. We entered the training fields with a lost air about us.

I spotted sensei across the field and began to make my way toward him, dragging a distracted Kiyoshi behind me. He looked up from the book in his hands at our approach and raised an eyebrow.

"Excuse me, Shinobi-san, but could you point me toward training field eighteen?" I asked him.

"Very good you three. Very believable," he said as he circled around us, inspecting our work.

"How did you know?" Kiyoshi asked with a pout. The corner of sensei's mouth curled upward in an amused grin.

"Kiyoshi, no sane civilian would so willingly approach a Shinobi." He was right. There was an invisible wall that separated the Shinobi and civilians. They lived knowing we walked the streets, but never cared to know more than that. As much as they tolerated us, they were also scared of us.

We as Shinobi found it almost impossible to relate to civilians. They didn't risk their life every day, or lose teammates in wars. We fought for them and they showed their gratitude by supporting us with their farms and merchandise.

"Oh well. We tried." Hiroshi said, not sounding very upset. With three simultaneous 'poofs' we returned to our normal appearances. The change of height had me disoriented for a moment. Kiyoshi looked even worse for wear than I did.

"Are you alright?" I asked him in concern.

"Yeah, just a bit of chakra depletion," was his reply. My eyebrows creased in thought. We hadn't done too much, had we? I could tell there was an absence in my chakra, but I did not feel as tired as Kiyoshi looked. In fact, I still had enough chakra for twice the amount of Henge training we had done this morning. Weird.

"You all did well in picking an appearance as well as a personality. Now tell me what names you decided on," sensei said to fill the silence. We all turned to stare at him, blinking owlishly. A moment of quiet passed before I burst into laughter, both boys soon following. It was so contagious that even sensei was smiling.

"I can't believe we forgot names!" Hiroshi said between fits of giggling. It was hilarious. We had put so much effort into this and we still forgot one of the most essential and elementary things: a name.

"How about Keiji for Hiroshi, Arata for Kiyoshi, I will be Sadao, and Suikazura will be Hanako." Flower child? How fitting, I thought with a snort. Sensei then showed us his disguise. He appeared to be a man of about thirty with crow's feet around his eyes. A square jaw was complemented by a strong nose.

He was tan with deep brown eyes; his hair was a similar shade to Kiyo- Arata's. He was handsome in a classical sense, but still retained the rough appearance of a man who worked for a living. Overall I'd say we looked like your average civilian family.

"Let's get going then," sensei said in a voice that was deeper than his own.

"Woohoo!" Kiyoshi yelled out with a childish lilt to his voice as he Henged back into Arata.

"You know better than to yell so loudly in public, Arata." I tell him in a reprimanding tone as I too Henged back into Hanako.

"But mom-"he began to protest.

"Listen to your mother, Arata," Sadao chided him.

"Mommy, pick me up!" Little newly transformed Keiji whined from somewhere near my knees. I picked him up with a shake of my head at how absurd this situation was. It was weird, but not overall uncomfortable. I had previous experience with children, but none of them had been mine; I hadn't lived long enough to have a family of my own.

A long buried feeling of longing surfaced inside my chest at the scene around me. This was something I wanted, but the chances of me living long enough to have this were practically non-existent. My heart ached for the family I knew I would never have.

"Wait up Arata or you might leave your mother behind!" Sadao called across the field. Turning to me he asked, "Is everything alright, Hanako?"

"Yes, sorry. I got distracted there a moment," I replied with a shaky smile. He watched me a bit longer as if trying to decide whether to press for details before looking ahead of him and continuing in the direction of the main gates.

A/N- A quick shout out to Eve: I'm glad you like the story so far. Also I'm happy you noticed her multiple states of mind. I can't wait to hear from you again.

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


	20. Shiroi Hyuuga- A Short Story

Disclaimer: You wanna know what I says to her? I says, I don't own it.

Authors Note: Before you read this, you need to know that THIS IS **NOT** THE NEXT CHAPTER. The next chapter is a beast. I'm almost 5,000 words in and I don't know if I've even reached the halfway mark. It will either be really long or cut into two parts/chapters. Either way, no part of it will be posted until the whole thing is done. Why? Because. If you feel the need to pester me, feel free to find me on twitter under the same username.

That aside, I was feeling bad for not having posted a thing for an entire month. This is the product of pure guilt. After the next chapter is uploaded I may remove this from the story. If you like it and want to see more things like this let me know. If enough people enjoy it I may start a different series like Sunshine side stories. Let me know what you think and I'll see you guys with the next chapter as soon as I can finish it.

P.S. Sorry for the super long authors note.

Shiroi Hyuuga- A Short Story

Shiroi Hyuuga liked to consider himself a dedicated person. With every task he was given, he gave it his 100%. So when he was branded with the Caged Bird seal he approached his duty differently than most of the branch family. Over the generations the Branch had grown spiteful towards the Main family.

For Shiroi this new duty was everything. Instead of growing bitter, he served with pride. Shiroi was never hailed as a genius, but as the most reverent of Branch members, he was always counted on for small tasks. Even as a child, Shiroi could be seen running to the market for forgotten purchases or helping to keep the grounds in mint condition.

Shiroi's time spent at the Hyuuga compound was lessened greatly after he began to attend the Academy. This never stopped him from spending all of his free time doing anything he could for the Main family. The thought of becoming a ninja had crossed Shiroi's mind more than once but he had never thought such an honor would be granted upon him.

Shiroi did not know the exact process involved in a Branch member becoming a ninja, but he did know that all the elders and the Head of the house himself had to agree to it. It was with great pride that he walked to school alone his first day, but even he was not immune to first day nerves.

By the time he was inside the big domed building his gaze travelled downward and his shoulders were so hunched that on first glance he appeared to be missing a neck. It was only with a quick glance towards the direction he was heading that Shiroi saw his older cousins when he turned the corner.

They too, were chosen to attend the school and they walked the hall with an arrogance befitting the Main branch. The sight gave him courage as he too raised his head in the air and made his way toward his classroom.

Upon entering the room, Shiroi was immediately able to recognize quite a few of his classmates. The Inuzuka heir, for example, was sitting in a corner of the room talking boisterously with the boy beside her who seemed to be huddled in his seat as far from her as possible.

He saw the Uchiha heir sitting quietly with his hands folded waiting patiently for the class to begin as the seats around him quickly filled with ogling girls. No other clan heirs were present, but there were quite a few clan children none the less.

The girl by the window had to be a Nara just as the eager looking girl in the front looked too similar to the Aburame to not be one. Shiroi's nerves once again began to settle at the familiar faces all around him. A loud clang brought his attention back to the door just in time to see a boy with messy black hair tumble right into the room.

He was soon followed by a boy with sandy brown hair and an uninterested expression. They looked familiar, but at the same time they did not. Civilians, he realized with a jolt. They belonged to no clan, they were civilians.

After being raised by such a prideful clan as the Hyuuga, Shiroi was unable to squash the indignant anger that filled him at the thought of civilians becoming ninja. They had no skill, no family prestige. How could they possibly come to this school and act as though they were equal to those who came from a clan.

His anger only grew, as did the amount of children he did not recognize. By the time class was to start, the civilians outnumbered the clan children! Shiroi stared at the teachers, hoping they would tell the civilians they were in the wrong room, but no such event occurred. Instead they were all welcomed to the place they would spend the next few years of their life attending.

It took over a week but Shiroi's anger slowly simmered down to an almost sadistic glee. Though they may act as equals, it was obvious how superior the clan children were. Soon they too would realize this fact and drop out of the school. Then it would only be those who deserved to attend the Academy left.

By the time the second month rolled around they were already down two students. The teachers seemed to be used to this. In fact, it was almost as if they encouraged the children to drop out. Not many of the children seemed to notice how often the teachers said the life of a ninja was not for them.

In fact, some of them were so thick headed that they just continued about life as usual. Shiroi had the unfortunate luck to come into contact with one of the thick ones. Even Shiroi had to admit that she was better than the other civilians. She was stronger and faster but this only ever spurned him forwards faster.

The day he ran past her during one of their classes Shiroi looked back, hoping to see a crushed look on the girls face. Instead she frowned with her eyebrows furrowed so close together, he thought they would merge into a uni-brow before her eyes practically glazed over. As if her mind was elsewhere. As if she couldn't care less that he had just beat her.

Shiroi's feet slipped out of rhythm before picking up again. He spent the rest of the class staring straight ahead feeling oddly defeated. A month later and Shiroi once again found himself running alongside the strange girl. She was faster than last time so he pushed himself to keep up.

A quick glance to the side told him she hadn't even registered his presence. Anger made him faster, determination clear in his eyes. Yet it all deflated when he saw her keeping up. She seemed completely oblivious to the race going on in his head. Upon noticing her blank expression his anger flashed again.

She looked so passive, even as sweat poured down Shiroi's face in the effort to stay at her side. _She wasn't even trying!_ He screamed in his head. Tears of frustration, anger, and humiliation filled his eyes, and even his greatest effort could barely keep them in.

Not only was she a civilian that was inferior to him, a clan member, but she wasn't even trying. Where he had trained for so long, she seemed to breeze past him on some whimsical whim of fate. How could someone who never seemed to try hard be better than him?

Not wanting to feel such bitter disappointment again, Shiroi vowed to run far from the strange girl in the future. He almost had the chance to forget she existed. The day the results of their first big test was released Shiroi felt the same anger and frustration rise in his chest.

Uchiha was, as expected, top of the class. It was the second that provoked such a reaction in him. Suikazura Hagane took second place. The name had Shiroi drawing up blank until he saw the pleased look on the strange girls face. It was her. The girl, who never seemed to try, had taken second place.

Shiroi knew he was no genius, he was never expecting to get a high marking, but he also hadn't expected to be outdone by a civilian. Perhaps she had cheated, he thought to himself in a desperate attempt to rationalize her high marking. Beginners luck, it was just a fluke, she couldn't possibly do that well ever again.

But again, Shiroi was proven wrong. She held her place as second firmly. The day Shiroi discovered her weakness was a happy one. Though he could not use his family techniques in the spars he had still been trained in standard form. She, on the other hand, had not.

Not only was she sloppy, but she flinched when she was hit as well as when she struck out. She seemed almost incapable of ever doing her opponent harm. She was like a bird that couldn't fly. A venomous snake left without its poison. Shiroi watched giddily as every opponent she faced knocked her flat on her backside.

The only downside was her face. She never got angry, she never cried, she never gave up, she always stood and tried again. Every one of her attempts yielded the same result: failure. And she didn't even notice. She never paid any attention when the class began to refer to her as the 'Dead Last'.

This nickname was only enforced when the class witnessed her complete lack of chakra control. Perhaps that was what bothered Shiroi the most. She laughed with them. In fact she seemed to find the whole situation even more amusing than the ones laughing at her.

She always smiled with that infuriating grin; the one that made her look like she was enjoying a private joke. Shiroi ignored these thoughts. For the first time since the school year began, he felt himself again. He convinced himself that she would quit after being so humiliatingly put back into her place.

She never left. He ignored her as best he could; determined to close that chapter of his life. He didn't want to dwell on her any longer. With the end of his first year came his first summer. That time was spent training as well as helping with his usual duties. By the time his second year was to begin, Shiroi had forgotten all about the pesky Hagane.

She stayed far from his mind as all of his efforts were put toward his studies and his friends. Shiroi's year passed quickly, barely sparing the girl a thought. A shadow of his anger would always pass over him when she was given second place, but he was content to ignore it. It was her only strength after all.

A few months into the year the Uchiha heir was predictably moved to the graduating class leaving the top spot open for Hagane. It took quite the effort to continue ignoring her, but in the end Shiroi prevailed.

He had been expecting his third year to go much like his second. And it had, at first. Hagane seemed to have finally mastered leaf sticking almost two years after she should have. He was expecting to see similar results in the class spars as well.

Excitement filled Shiroi when it was announced that he was to be her opponent. A long forgotten desire for revenge emerged as he faced against her. A crack appeared in Shiroi's determination at the look on her face.

It was almost unidentifiable, just a glimmer of determination, and the smallest of upturns on her lips. He shook the strange feeling off as he fell into the familiar Jyuuken pose. Shiroi had never been one to wait for his opponent, but this time he did. He was curious to see how she would react.

She had always come off as nonaggressive in their previous years, which was why her sudden advance had startled him. It was reckless and she only barely managed to dodge Shiroi's counter attack. That was when she disappeared. For one moment he could not spot her. Then his world was spun out of control as a shoulder rammed into his chest causing him to be thoroughly winded.

That was when he lost it. She wasn't supposed to fight like that. She was supposed to be awkward and timid. His humiliation and anger had his face burning red as he swiped at her again and again. It was only luck that he had been able to strike her in the arm.

Her hiss of pain egged him on further. Finally a reaction, Shiroi thought to himself as he continued to aim at her. He was even more desperate for a hit than last time. She was infuriating. She wasn't even using her hands, seeing as her uninjured one was holding her useless arm.

After that she just ran. She would spring from one end of the practice area to the other dodging him all the while. It was only after he was tiring that he got his lucky break. She ran right towards him and in a last desperate attempt Shiroi struck her leg with a strong blow successfully cutting off her chakra.

He was winning; he was going to beat her. So why was she laughing? Why did she look like she was having the time of her life? Why did her eyes seem more alive than he had ever seen them? It wasn't fair. Even as Shiroi dealt the winning hit right into her stomach, she still laughed.

She lay on the ground before him clutching at her stomach as though afraid it may crack open. Not because of the pain, but because of her laughter. No feeling of victory filled Shiroi's bones as he had believed it would. Instead all he felt was empty, hollow. He had won the fight, but he hadn't _won._

Her pride wasn't crushed, she didn't admit defeat, she didn't even cry. The echo of her lively laughter haunted him the whole way home that night. The next day he watched numbly as she fought the Inuzuka and every fight after in much the same way she had fought him.

Whether she won or lost, she always approached her fights with the same attitude. It was then that Shiroi realized that she was growing. She was learning to be a ninja; she was taking her lessons and using them. And what of him? How had he grown?

When no answer readily popped to mind he felt ashamed of himself. No wonder she had never seen him. She was looking toward the future while his gaze was stuck on her back. That was the first time Shiroi swallowed his pride. It was the first time he ever admitted that a civilian was his better.

It was the first time he had something solid to strive for. Though he never particularly liked her, and though she never saw him as a rival or even a challenge, it was enough that he had a goal. It was enough that he now had a focus for the determination he so liked to brag about. And that was enough for now.

A/N I hope you enjoyed and I'll see you all again when the next chapter is out.

ToeGirth,

Signing Out


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